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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours grandchildren

13 replies

TangoOrange · 20/06/2021 09:47

I live in a terraced house, lived here for 10 years with no issues at all with my neighbours we very much keep to ourselves.

One neighbour has their grandchildren round a lot, the eldest boy who is around 8 years old stays in the garden for long periods of time which doesn't bother me at all, I have had so many balls and toys come over my fence that I've lost count of the amount of times that I've thrown them back over for them.

We had an issue this weekend whereby the boy again lost a toy over the fence, we are having building work done so the garden is dangerous and the home is noisy during the day.

I went to carry something into the garden and found that the boy had jumped over the fence to retrieve the toy that he lost, the fence is 6ft so there is quite a drop the other side.

I told him that what he did was dangerous not only because of the debris in the garden but the drop from their fence to my garden could have caused injury, he said that his grandparent knocked on my door for me to throw it back but didn't get an answer as we didn't hear it.

My neighbour has been round and shouted at me because I 'told off' her grandson, I preceded to tell her that not only shouldn't he enter my property without permission but he could have got injured whilst climbing over and if I find toys in the garden I always throw them back over.

This has caused tension which I didn't want as we have never had a run in before however I feel like I had to say something.

Should I have kept my mouth shut? I would love to hear your opinions on this.

OP posts:
Arbadacarba · 20/06/2021 09:50

You are 100% in the right here.

It doesn't sound like a you gave him a 'telling off'. It sounds like a reasonable warning of danger and a polite request not to trespass.

Notaroadrunner · 20/06/2021 09:55

No you shouldn't have kept your mother shut. My Ds did this many years ago and the neighbour told him not to and rightly so. There was a big drop on their side. We also warned him never to do it again. Your neighbour would no doubt have been over shouting at you if the child had got hurt so you were right in telling him not to do it. The world wasn't going to end if they didn't get their toy back straight away. In future I'd tell them that any items found in your garden will be thrown back when you happen to find them and not to bother calling again.

ScottishNewbie · 20/06/2021 09:57

You're in the right. Your neighbours sound very strange to think that their grandchild trespassing is okay. I would have been over to apologise not shout at you if I were them haha

SaltAndVinegarSandwiches · 20/06/2021 10:00

Bloody hell of course YANBU! You're not paid to retrieve their balls and he had no right to be in your garden. Grandparent should have been supervising. Of course you told him not to come over the fence.

WorraLiberty · 20/06/2021 10:00

Of course you're in the right, that goes without saying.

What exactly did your neighbour shout?

MissBPotter · 20/06/2021 10:00

You did the right thing. Your neighbour is totally unreasonable. I wouldn’t answer the door to them again in future.

ClutchesPearlsAndFaints · 20/06/2021 10:01

Tough if she's got the hump. He won't do it again
Any bad feeling should be on her

AlGorithim · 20/06/2021 10:04

You were in the right. Our neighbour’s kids used to keep coming into our garden to retrieve balls and toys. It really pissed me off as they ended up damaging the fence and they would often nosy around and let their dog in which would then shit in our garden. I had to ask her not to let them and she was really arsey about it.

billy1966 · 20/06/2021 10:05

Neighbour is unreasonable and a CF.

People who react like that are the first to sue when their child gets hurt.

I would be a LOT chillier in future.

PinkCast · 20/06/2021 10:08

You're absolutely right! They should have waited for you to throw toy back. Feeds into the instant gratification that kids expect these days.

Unsure33 · 20/06/2021 10:30

You are in the right . You don’t have to childproof your garden so anything in theory could have happened. Technically he was trespassing.

intheenddoesitreallymatter · 20/06/2021 11:06

What idiots. If he had fallen and broken his leg what was their plan to get him back? Grandpa climb over and oink him back over the fence for grandma to catch?

JudgeJ · 20/06/2021 11:24

@PinkCast

You're absolutely right! They should have waited for you to throw toy back. Feeds into the instant gratification that kids expect these days.
Tell her that in the future any balls, toys etc that land on your property will be available for collection at 8pm, to ensure their safety.
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