Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for help with financial pickle

880 replies

ShoebillStork · 19/06/2021 18:11

In 2009 FIL had a win on the Premium Bonds. He gave us £10,000 to invest for DS (at low risk) and the money to be given to DS when he's 18.

I put the money towards a loft conversion. DS is 18 soon and I'm due to remortgage for a better rate. How much do I need to release for him so he gets the £10k plus what it might have gained in interest since 2009.

And should I encourage DS to get a Help to Buy ISA with it?

OP posts:
AmaryllisNightAndDay · 20/06/2021 11:17

SO you give your DS 10K plus 25% of 10K, that is 125K.

Oops I lost a decimal point there - it should be 12.5K!

LuvMyBubbles · 20/06/2021 11:23

I can't believe how precious people are being. Wow just wow
I'm glad you did this and glad you are looking at now giving your son the money, I think it was money well spent. And if you were in a position where you couldn't give him the money, well so be it. He had a roof over his head and his own room, that is priceless.

Original poster
ShoebillStork · 20/06/2021 12:03

@CalamityJaneDoe

I wonder if FIL had passed and DS knew nothing of it, would you have given it back at all?
Yes, I would. Would you?
OP posts:
GreenClock · 20/06/2021 12:59

You sound fair and thoughtful to me, OP. It was wrong of PP to suggest that you’ve acted fraudulently or mendaciously.

FiL sounds vile. He must take some putting up with!

EscapePeaBoo · 20/06/2021 13:17

If I was in your place I would have to consider how much I had personally gained from the investment I had secretly invested into my own investment ... aka house...

I’m not sure reflecting a decent savings rate is that honest really...

But then I’d probably not pay his way through university so perhaps it’s savings and roundabouts...

brittleheadgirl · 20/06/2021 13:27

@ShoebillStork

You need to work out the value of the house before and after the loft conversion, calculate the change in value, work out the proportionate value allocated to the 10k and then add 12 years interest on top

God no, he's not getting that much! The value of the house has sky rocketted! I just need to work out how much it would be worth if I'd bunged it in a Junior ISA or something lame!

But you invested HIS 10k this way, in a very underhand and morally questionable way. He absolutely deserves every penny of what HIS investment has earned him in interest, you don't get to decide that he doesn't, totally unacceptable!
Original poster
ShoebillStork · 20/06/2021 13:29

Regardless of the somewhat dubious morality of how this money was used, it’s really shocking that you take such a high handed attitude to the amount he’ll get back. Given that his money was invested in an asset that “sky rocketed”, his return should have risen proportionately

Oh come on! Even by the normal standards of AIBU some responses are bonkers- I woke up this morning and thought I'd dreamt this thread it's been so bizarre.

There is nothing dubious about my morality or my actions, nothing at all.

I had a combination of good fortune and good sense to buy a pretty period property in a good area that has become extremely popular hence it's sky rocketed in value - how lucky am I?

The loft conversion has also helped but i think DS £10k paid towards about a third of the total cost. I borrowed the rest on my mortgage and it's me who has repaid the capital and interest on the whole amount.

DS leads a charmed life and is going to get approx £15k by doing absolutely nothing. Lucky boy.

OP posts:
brittleheadgirl · 20/06/2021 13:34

@ShoebillStork
Lovely Hmm You describe your son as getting his 'grubby hands' on money that he has kindly been gifted from his grandfather, yet you stole it from him to basically facilitate your partner moving in with you.
You are beyond grubby op, not your son!!!

Taliskerskye · 20/06/2021 13:45

This thread is bonkers. Totally bonkers.
People are mad.

UnbeatenMum · 20/06/2021 13:55

3% is a good choice. My eldest was born in 2009 and I was getting 3% on her (low risk) savings for most of the last 12 years although it went down to 2% a couple of years ago.

Original poster
ShoebillStork · 20/06/2021 14:01

[quote brittleheadgirl]@ShoebillStork
Lovely Hmm You describe your son as getting his 'grubby hands' on money that he has kindly been gifted from his grandfather, yet you stole it from him to basically facilitate your partner moving in with you.
You are beyond grubby op, not your son!!![/quote]
Grin

Just when you think it couldn't get any more bonkers! "Grubby hands" was a lighthearted expression, the lad hasn't got his hands dirty since he left pre school!

(He has had a part job since he was 15 before anyone starts ...)

My DP is DS's dad - RTFT! - and has lived in my house for 20 years (he has his own that he rents out).

Anyway, I'm going to discuss it with DS when he gets back from work.

OP posts:
RockyMountainSky · 20/06/2021 14:08

Haha! This is amazing! So many people so excited to spew accusations that they haven't bothered to read the actual details. I can see why OP thought this thread might be a fever dream.

But agree with the majority of sensible posters that £14000-£15000 sounds about right.

nokidshere · 20/06/2021 14:11

What a bizarre thread. Boy is going to get 10k plus interest on his 18th birthday as requested by his grandfather. What exactly is the problem with that? She could have just stuck it in a regular bank account all these years and the outcome would be the same.

brittleheadgirl · 20/06/2021 14:40

@ShoebillStork
So why do you write about a dss?
What a bizarre thread.
What you've done is shitty and you know, otherwise why weren't you honest with your fil years ago?

brittleheadgirl · 20/06/2021 14:42

@nokidshere

What a bizarre thread. Boy is going to get 10k plus interest on his 18th birthday as requested by his grandfather. What exactly is the problem with that? She could have just stuck it in a regular bank account all these years and the outcome would be the same.
It's the dishonesty people don't like I'm guessing? If op thought what she was doing was totally acceptable, why did she hide it from the person who gave her son the money? Funny that....Hmm
Original poster
ShoebillStork · 20/06/2021 14:49

So why do you write about a dss?

It's in the thread ... DSS is from a previous relationship.

why did she hide it from the person who gave her son the money?

Nothing to hide. FIL said invest it in something low risk for the boy til he's 18. I did. No dishonesty.

OP posts:
brittleheadgirl · 20/06/2021 14:57

@ShoebillStork

Thanks for link Candy but I don't know what interest rate to put in.

And can you lot stop trying to make out I've nicked DS's money. He got a cool bedroom (his words), will get £10k plus interest and will inherit the lot when I croak. Which will be very soon if FIL finds out ...

You're contradicting yourself op, as this earlier post shows.

You obviously very deliberately hid it from your fil, for very obvious reasons.
Please don't start backtracking and changing details, just because people aren't responding as you would like.

DarkDarkNight · 20/06/2021 15:10

@arithanaggerton

Your FIL is a twat, excluding his SS like that.

If I was your husband, I'd have split the £10k and given my DC £5k each, and would have no qualms about telling my DF to get stuffed.

I agree. It doesn’t look like the SS is going to share in any inheritance either if the son is set to inherit the lot!

Shitty behaviour from his grandad and dad who should have his best interests at heart.

Blossomtoes · 20/06/2021 15:15

and it's me who has repaid the capital and interest on the whole amount

Except you haven’t. You repaid capital and interest on 66% of your loft conversion costs.

This reminds me of my mum’s investment of 33% of the purchase of her mother’s house. When it was sold with a 200% profit, her bil professed to be shocked when she wanted 33% of the proceeds as he thought she should just get her original investment back He obviously came from the same planet as you, OP.

Sakari · 20/06/2021 15:17

I'm not sure if this point has been made but if the OP planned to still give her son his whole 10k even if her house price had declined then she hasn't exposed him to extra risk and doesn't owe him a share in the house price increase. You only get the return if you're exposed to the risk and from what the OP has said she would have paid out 10k + interest regardless what happened to the value of her house. And for those that say she may not have been able to, her house would have had to suffer a huge valuation decrease for her to be able to remortgage for 20k ~10 years ago to do the loft conversion and not be able to remortgage for an extra 10k now when interest rates are lower and she's paid a decade more off on the mortgage.

Also, it sounds like she could could have simply borrowed the extra 10k instead of using "his" 10k and done the loft extension anyway. Potentially you could say she owes him interest she didn't pay on the extra 10k mortgage but given that mortgage rates are so low this wouldn't be that much and would be covered by the fact that she seems to be planning to give him about 3% when the average cash isa rate in this period has been more like 1.5%.

OccasionallyFlagging · 20/06/2021 15:18

Taking the increase in property value would be fair, but only if you deduct his share of the mortgage and property maintenance.

5k seems fair

Sakari · 20/06/2021 15:24

Just to clarify, my second para is there to say that if the extra 10k wasn't the factor that allowed the conversion to happen, I.e., with the 10k then the OP could afford the conversion, without it or would have been impossible, then he doesn't deserve any part of the multiplier effect of doing the conversion either (assuming you separate the general effect of house price increases and the specific effect of adding an extra room which may be worth more than you paid to build it).

Blossomtoes · 20/06/2021 15:24

@OccasionallyFlagging

Taking the increase in property value would be fair, but only if you deduct his share of the mortgage and property maintenance.

5k seems fair

His share of the mortgage and property maintenance? What share would that be then?
evilkitten · 20/06/2021 15:28

My children had an inheritance from a grandparent around the same time, but £5K rather than 10k. I invested in a relatively low risk fund, and it's now worth just over £16k. Multiplying up would suggest £32k in your situation.

Sakari · 20/06/2021 15:36

evilkitten I assume this was an equity fund to got that kind of uplift in the period (>200% return)? I'm not sure I would classify that as low risk.

Swipe left for the next trending thread