Anyone else dislike being given orders at work by people not senior to them?

[Drumstick38]

It's really frustrating, maybe it isn't done deliberately but it's a little cheeky. Maybe these people are angling to move up to a management role and think they're proving they have what it takes.

I have only worked with a particular colleague 3 shifts. The very first shift she was actually new to the role and it was up to me to show her what we do on the shift, which hopefully I did in a friendly way.

A few days later i came on shift with her and suddenly she was telling me "Right so first we'll do this, this and that and then later on we'll do this."

I was really surprised, and she tried to do it again on the second shift. Not even saying, "shall we do X or X", just telling me what we will do and in what order.

It's a job which requires teamwork, but I was taken aback by it. On the 3rd shift I tried to assert myself more by saying, "Well actually I'm going to have a break first, then afterwards I'll do X job."

Has anyone else had this and how do you deal with it? I think as I'm quite quiet they probably suss me out as a soft touch and think they can get away with it, I've had it in previous jobs too.

Your approach sounds about right. 'No, actually, I 'm going to do X and then Y. That makes more sense to me.' Or alternatively, ' That sounds like a great idea. It's just what I was going to say.'

Bossy people tend to stop being bossy when you refuse to be bossed. If they don't, then sometimes you have to be very blunt.

Thanks for your suggestions I will certainly try that. It's annoying as I thought we got on really well and worked together, but I do think people try and suss you out and see what they can get away with.

Seem to be getting mainly YABU votes, could anyone say why?

Refuse to be bossed around. Push back. Suggest alternatives. Refuse to just do what she says, and when it's something you agree with, perhaps reframe it as in 'that's a good idea' rather than silently submitting.

I think I'd laugh and say, "Don't you remember that last time I had to show you how to do it? Please don't tell me how to do this job; I've been doing it for years."

It doesn't really sound like you're being bossed around, just that your colleague was trying to be organised and make a plan for the day. I think your answer to say you were going to do it a bit differently was fine too. I find people who are new will often be a little more anxious about the workload and want a plan in place.

Yeah I find this really annoying too. I’m in a qualified role and currently have the unqualified staff bossing me about as I’m new, it’s not good. Not really sure how to get round it as I’m not be to assertive. Totally get it @Drumstick38

*not good at being assertive

She just sounds enthused and proactive. You needing breaks sounds as though you could have become bogged down and you're mistaking her positivity as something else. Perhaps it's an opportunity to self reflect?

Maybe i did misunderstand it, but usually when making plans we go through it together and ask one another, not just telling the other person what they will be doing without any consultation.

It's a 10 hour shift so we do need short breaks sometimes yes

I think most people would dislike this from someone on the same pay grade and experience level as them. I would give a young person the benefit of the doubt if they did it a bit as they may not realise how they come across and just be enthusiastic as someone said but I wouldn't let someone boss me around the whole time.

@HotChocolateLover

Might be time to get yourself some training in assertiveness skills

Tell her, that's funny.
Do feel free to come and ask me how to do the job when you get it wrong.
Oh by the way X needs doing first or y can't happen.

I have experienced this from a new member of staff but it all settled down after a few weeks. Several months later she confessed she was thinking aloud and talking herself through the processes rather than telling me what to do. She was very nervous starting in a new role and anxious not to make mistakes. Once she had calmed down and built up some confidence there was no need to 'rehearse'.
She fell about laughing when I said I had just thought she was a PITA!!
We get on fine now.