Other people are trouble

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AIBU to think that people are trouble and contact with others (aside from family and friends) should be pretty much non-existent, only taking place when unavoidable & absolutely necessary, such as work (but only those you have to talk to, & only as briefly as possible.)

I have realised during the pandemic how little value external contact brings to my life; people are complex, & lots of people are just out for what they can get from you in my experience; they owe you nothing & unless you put these rigid boundaries in place you’ll end up giving more energy to negative or pointless interactions than is healthy.

I just find people too complex as well; life is so much simpler & focussed with less people in it apart from family & friends. As a last point, the other thing I’ve observed is how hostile the world has become. People are on their guard these days; they want to be angry and if you put yourself in the firing line you’ll get roasted. It’s just not worth it. Contact with others costs too much.

Best to cut contact, mind your own & keep well away!

I find the vast majority of people to be absolutely lovely and a very welcome addition to my life.

I can maybe 3 people who brought drama and grief into my sphere during the long time I’ve spent on this planet. I no longer have anything to do with them and everyone else I meet - strangers and people who become or are my friends - bring happiness to my door.

*can count

I love people, Even if they are not very nice they are generally interesting.

I don't agree that we should avoid other people, mostly because of my belief that all human beings should be treated with respect and empathy. It's kind of a philosophy for life I call "we are all human beings together."

But I do agree that holding this view has become more challenging lately. There is more racism. I have experienced racism directed at me much more. I think people are afraid. There is way more rude and aggressive behaviour. Way more.

Afraid of the virus, afraid of political instability in the world, afraid of aggressive regimes that rattle their swords. And afraid of change.

I had my second jab the day before yesterday. As I got in the queue, my husband was calling me and trying to tell me something from a ways away. I was distracted, and stood a tad too close to a very elderly couple right ahead of me. Not really close, just off the big blue circle. We were all wearing masks.

The man turned to me and said angrily, "we are social distancing here." I apologized and moved back. All the while we waited he glanced around at me annoyed. He stood on the same circle as his wife, but behind her so he was closer to me, off the circle a bit.

So I left a circle between us. Of course, one of the attendants told me off for not moving up. Sigh.

I really hope we find our way back from being afraid of others and turning fear into aggression.

How would you ever make friends outside of relatives let alone find a partner?

I have twins and so many people make an effort to talk and say hi to us. Got in the bus today and a lady gave my older son £1 because he was such a sweet boy. We make polite chit chat with the staff in the shop and two people came over and picked up bottles the babies dropped. People have helped me off the bus when I needed help and have carried suitcases upstairs for me when I couldn't. They're just strangers with nothing to lose or gain by being kind but being kind anyway

Extraneous relationships just bring pain & complexity into your life.

I'm wondering what kind of relationships you're referring to here? You've already said you're excluding family and friends so what other relationships are going to bring you pain? Is it that you never want to make new friends? Or are you referring to casual encounters like striking up conversations at a bar or meeting friends or friends?

Anyway, I've never experienced this myself. Wouldn't be the most massively outgoing person I the world but I'm always happy to chat away to people I meet at events or parties and always open to new friendships. Apart from maybe one breakup I had before meeting my husband, no one has brought pain and complexity in to my life yet!

This hasn't been my experience at all. In my experience many people online are very divisive and easy to anger with no regard to the nuances and grey areas of life however out in the real world I find most people to be imperfect but lovely and more keen to focus on commonalities rather than differences.