What now?

[FairyAtTheBottomOfTheGarden]

So I turned 50 this year, and I ended a 5 year relationship recently as it wasn't going anywhere. Prior to this I'd been married to someone I'd been with for over 20 years and am single mum to my nearly 18 year old DD.

DD rarely needs me for anything these days, although I obviously have to be on call for lifts, food and the odd dilemma . I now feel like I'm starting again, with no-one depending on me (most of the time) and will be able to focus on what I what for the first time in over 30 years... AIBU to feel this nervous and excited?

My question is for fellow single ladies of a 'certain age' - what are your tips and tricks for making the most of my new start? I'm not sure whether I even want a new man so certainly not interested in dating sites at the moment.

Just be yourself, enjoy the freedom. It's getting easier to get out to things like art clubs, walking clubs etc. Have fun and be open to making new friends. Enjoy. :-)

Is there anything you've wanted to do or somewhere you've always wanted to go? Any hobbies you'd like to re-start or maybe volunteering for something that interests you? Do you have friends you could start to go out with more? A new hobby might be a good way to meet new friends. Do whatever you enjoy OP.

Other than searching Facebook Events or MeetUp, what other ways are there of finding out what's available to do locally? I'm open to trying any new hobby and don't mind going places on my own but do want to make new friends.
I already go to parkrun (or at least I will when it starts up again!)

When I moved house I didn't know anyone in the area. I tried MeetUp and met a nice group. I started reading the notice boards everywhere I went and looked on the community hall and local church websites for activities that happened there each week (like coffee mornings, yoga, meditation, badminton, table tennis, etc) I have a dog so I started exploring local walks and stopped to chat with people along the way (most didn't want to chat but some did). The local council put letters through the door asking for volunteers for something so I volunteered it was horrible and I wouldn't do it again but volunteering in general can be a good way to meet people. I started going to the larger nearby town for some things which opened up a lot more choice for meeting people (so you might have to look a little further afield if you live in a small place). It's taken time years but I am finally starting to feel like I've got a great group of friends around me and a decent social life.

Prepare to open yourself up and be very friendly and outgoing for the next few months OP. You will have some people look at you like you are crazy, some run away from you as fast as they can and some that you will be beating off with a stick after they latch onto you for dear life. But then there will be those 2 or 3 people that are really nice and become great friends. Those 2 or 3 are worth the work! Then they might know people you'll be introduced to or they'll be willing to try new things with you and you'll meet people there and eventually you'll meet more and more people and your network will grow. It takes time but you'll get there.

I'm not in the same position as you op (I have young dependents and in a relationship albeit not great). I'm feeling trapped and compressed by life and want a few adventures (even if it is a workshop trying something new) whereas the friends I do have seem happy plodding along with few interests and aren't particularly sociable outside of their immediate family. I think being knee deep in the perimenopause (rapidly approaching 50) has a lot to do with this for me and not feeling particularly content with home life (I am a sahm and faced with a mountain of housework every day, I guess I've grown bored). Looking to volunteer. Definitely need to shake things up a bit it's just how.

I'm watching this thread with interest.

Bee Being amongst a larger network of people is what I would like. I have social anxiety as part of another condition (about to start therapy) so it's a catch 22 situation of getting out there to meet people but I do have a few interests so guess this is a starting point.

Thanks for the advice, I guess it will be easier once lockdown is completely over. One advantage of being older, I've had both my jabs so less scared of going places full of strangers!