To also apply for this job?

Bumzoo · 17/06/2021 22:29

Didn't you tell her when she told you?

Original poster

IncorrigibleTitmouse · 17/06/2021 22:31

I didn’t. She was asking me for advice about her form, such as the examples she might use. I gave some vague (genuine!) advice but I felt a bit crestfallen.

OP posts:

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 17/06/2021 22:32

Tell her now that you’re applying. That you were already applying.

DarkDarkNight · 17/06/2021 22:32

I would still apply. You were in the process of applying, it’s not like you only found out about it through her.

It would have been better to say something at the time though even if it was just ‘oh I’m applying for that job too, I’m half way through but the forms really long’. She will probably assume now that you heard about it from her.

Original poster

IncorrigibleTitmouse · 17/06/2021 22:35

@DarkDarkNight

I would still apply. You were in the process of applying, it’s not like you only found out about it through her.

It would have been better to say something at the time though even if it was just ‘oh I’m applying for that job too, I’m half way through but the forms really long’. She will probably assume now that you heard about it from her.

This is what I'm worried about. I wish I'd said at the time. I was asked to apply by the recruiting manager because she's my counterpart. I have a work relationship with the team already.

OP posts:

LemonFantaGin · 17/06/2021 22:36

Tell her you had already applied

Terrazzo · 17/06/2021 22:37

If the tables were turned she probably would not stop her application to save your feelings. Go for it!

funnylittlefloozie · 17/06/2021 22:40

If she gets the job over you, will that ruin your friendship? Are you both the sort of petty-minded women who'd fall out over a job? I doubt it. So just go for the job! Perhaps one of you will get it or perhaps neither of you will.

Alternista · 17/06/2021 22:41

“Argh, this feels awkward but I need to tell you something- I’m also applying for the job at X. I was already midway through my application when you told me you were too and in the moment I felt so thrown I didn’t know how to tell you! Sorry for not fessing up straightaway. Hopefully they’ll love us both so much they make a second role and snap us both up haha. Anyway, I wanted to be honest with you. What will be will be I guess! Let’s catch up soon, OP x

Original poster

IncorrigibleTitmouse · 17/06/2021 22:44

No, it wouldn't affect our friendship if she got it over me, but I can’t speak for her. She's really excited about the opportunity, her enthusiasm is what made me feel terrible and not say anything.

That's a great text--thank you! I'll just woman up and confess.

OP posts:

EnfieldRes · 17/06/2021 22:47

In probably wouldn't now.

In your friend's shoes... I wouldn't believe you if you told me you were applying for it anyway, when you hadn't mentioned it when it was brought up and told you about it. I'd think you'd been sneaky.

Hawkins001 · 17/06/2021 22:50

@IncorrigibleTitmouse

A job has come up that I had started applying for. It’s one of those with an eight-page form, competency based etc.

I learned yesterday that a lovely friend of mine is also applying and was so excited telling me about it. We are both already employed, working in the same field (e.g finance/HR) but at different companies. I’d say we are both equally qualified but now I feel terrible about continuing my application just in case I get it and it ruins our friendship.

AIBU?

Keep your application secret and apply anyway

xprincessxjanetx · 17/06/2021 22:50

YANBU, it is your life and you have just as much right to apply for the job as your friend, especially considering you were already planning to. It isn't as if you got the idea from her, although she may assume that and not believe you.

However, personally speaking I would probably not continue with the application purely because I would feel very bad if I ended up getting the job and it spoiled things. It is a very personal decision and there is no right or wrong answer so you will probably find this is quite an evenly spread thread.

Original poster

IncorrigibleTitmouse · 17/06/2021 23:01

Gawd. Rock and a hard place. I'm going to think about it overnight. My first instinct was to just apply and if I don't get it, no harm done. But that would make it way worse if I did get it...

PPs are right, she probably wouldn't believe I was already applying.

OP posts:

violetbunny · 18/06/2021 05:45

I wouldn't say anything unless you actually got the job. She won't believe you at this point, so no point upsetting her unless you need to.

MisgenderedSwan · 18/06/2021 05:51

Send the text. Before it goes any further! Be honest, tell her you were thrown and didn't want to upset her but want to be honest. Why wouldn't she believe you? She's your friend. She will be more upset if you don't tell her until you confess you've got the job and she's found out she hasn't.

Suzi888 · 18/06/2021 05:53

Is there only one position?
I would tell her personally, what on Earth will you do if you get it….

PaleGreenAndBrightOrange · 18/06/2021 05:56

I think you have to go ahead with the application but also tell her, and it’s up to her if she believes you or not.

She will probably feel embarrassed and misled that she sought advice from you and you didn’t tell her you were applying. I think if you give her a heartfelt apology she’ll believe you and forgive you.

I think the text suggested by a PP might be too on the breezy side tbh. Just thinking from your friend’s perspective - she may feel that you’re brushing it off and no one likes to have their perspective on a situation (however trivial) minimised.

Disfordarkchocolate · 18/06/2021 06:03

Tell her you were asked to apply by the recruiting manager and you had links to the team. Then, apply. This is your career, its important.

Thisusedtobeaniceneighbourhood · 18/06/2021 06:06

I send a good friend a link to a job advert yesterday that I know she would be great at. It’s a job that is also open to me, but we have slightly different skills and experience. She is a perfect fit for about 70% of the application; I am a reasonable fit for about 90%. When I sent it across I also noted that I was trying to decide myself if I would apply. I was honest and said that I wasn’t sure I wanted it (happy where I am), but she was supportive and said I should. Cue about 15 mins back and forth of each other pointing out other’s strengths regarding application questions. IMO that’s how it should be! Truth is we could neither of us get to interview stage. I don’t actually think I would have a chance against her, and fortunately I don’t need the job. I think it’s really odd that she didn’t ask if you would apply yourself tbh.

kitkatsky · 18/06/2021 10:50

YANBU but I think you should have mentioned at the time “how funny! I’m applying for that one too…”