To think this was rude ?

[MiaMarshmallows]

Friend regularly gets into the car with me when I give her a quick lift home at times. I always wear a mask out of courtesy, she never does. Aibu to find this inconsiderate?
We do meet at home for coffee but in a car it's close proximity so do think she should wear one?

Have you asked her to?

Covid safe etiquette is awkward these days.

It's your car, ask her you wear a mask.

YABU not to resolve this with a simple conversation.

No I haven't as don't want her to think I am being OTT.

Tell her to.

If this bothers you it's your responsibility to speak up and insist she wears a mask. It's not hard.

@MiaMarshmallows

No I haven't as don't want her to think I am being OTT.

How is she supposed to know you want her to wear one then?

Either tell her or stop being annoyed.

If you're wearing one I think it's a bit odd that she didn't ask if you wanted her to. Although to be fair I think it's also a bit odd that you have never thought to ask her to put one on if you feel uncomfortable.

If I'd been in someone's house for coffee it wouldn't occur to me that they would want me to wear a mask in another setting.

In one word: communication.

When I stopped expecting others to read my mind, the world became an easier place to navigate. Maybe.

Hmm. I generally think posters are over precious with this stuff, and I wouldn’t usually wear a mask in a car (I get mega carsick), but if a friend was giving me a lift and they had their mask on I would put one on without being asked. I do think it’s a bit rude not to in their car.

I never wear a mask in my car as my glasses steam up. I don't expect people I give a lift to wear one either. These people are generally people i am eating with or walking with and I see little difference in the space I am sharing whether in the car, in a cafe or walking on a path. If you want her to wear one you need to tell her but I honestly don't think it will make much difference if you are spending time with her anyway.

@MiaMarshmallows

No I haven't as don't want her to think I am being OTT.

Would it be fair to rephrase your question as "WouldIBU to ask my friend to wear a mask in my car?" rather than "AIBU to think my friend is being rude to wear a mask, even though I haven't asked her to"?

I regularly give lifts to DC and ask all my passengers to wear a mask. So do the other parents who share the run. I also think it's polite to wear a mask when someone else does. But I still think YABU to consider her rude when you haven't even asked.

It’s your car, you can set the rules. But you have to tell her!

Yanbu to find it inconsiderate however YABVU not to communicate this with her. If you are friends, you should be able to ask or say something without feeling OTT. You feeling OTT about it is about you, not her.

@legalseagull

If I'd been in someone's house for coffee it wouldn't occur to me that they would want me to wear a mask in another setting.

Was going to say the same at this.

Does it really matter what she thinks of you? You are doing her a favour - just ask her to wear one. I do it all the time as I am vulnerable - no-one bats an eyelid.

You just say "would you mind putting your mask on please?" And then if she responds in any other way than putting it on or telling you she's exempt then you decide if she respects your boundaries enough to be a friend.

So to answer you question. Yes YABU as she was not rude as you hadn't asked her to wear a mask and as you were then going to be inside having a drink together she probably didn't think you'd mind.

If I get in a friend's car i ask if they want me to wear a mask, if friends get in my car they ask if I want them to wear one...are you not good enough friends to just speak to each other?!

Maybe you need a little sign in your car saying something like 'this is a covid safe car, please wear a mask'. A bit like the signs people used to have in their cars asking people not to smoke.