Neighbours pis*ed off we're in our garden when isolating

[blakeway45]

Me, DH and 2x DC (age 4 and 2) are isolating due to DH testing positive (the issues that come with this could be a whole other post in itself!).

Neighbours know we are isolating as they know my MIL well.

Yesterday we spent most of the day in and out of the garden. We're all feeling fine, kids have been playing in their paddling pool and on their slide and I've been pottering about and sunbathing. We also had lunch in the garden as a family.

Neighbours are livid we're in the garden when isolating because we could pass it to them over the fence?! I appreciate COVID is making everyone worry in lots of ways, but we are not breaking ANY rules in doing and it's OUR garden?! I'd be going insane if we had no outside space! Although the gardens run alongside each other all the way down, the gardens are pretty wide, it's not like we're sharing a space or are massively on top of each other?! There's a fence and a great big bush between us for goodness sake!!!

They have text me and called my MIL saying they're not pleased we're outside while we have COVID and they'd appreciate it if we'd be more careful and not pass it along the street?!

AIBU????

Covid anxiety is going to be here for some time. There will be people who are overly anxious

Then the more we do to educate people the better as COVID will be with us for a long time. Your neighbours are going to find life very restricted if they are worried that COVID can be caught from so far away in the open air.
I have friends who still won't go into shops (but are happy to ask others to pick stuff up for them!) They had their first drink outside a bar a couple of weeks ago but didn't enjoy it 'and won't be doing it again in a hurry'. Neither are CEV, but very anxious.
Appreciate that anxiety is real, but it doesn't mean they can impose their own rules on other people.

I am absolutely sick of society being ruled by those who are irrationally anxious.

@blakeway45

Oh goodness, thank you for all your replies. I am glad you all agree (bar Doodlebug). I haven't yet replied to NDN but I am conscious that I don't want to aggravate the situation/encourage her anxieties so am planning on sending something tomorrow morning along the lines of:

"Following the concerns you have expressed I have checked the Government and NHS guidance as well as contacted track and trace directly, as I would hate to put you or X at any risk. I can confirm we are able to be out and about in our private garden as it is within the rules. We will be isolating until 25 June, unless another of one us tests positive, in which case it will be longer."

For those commenting on why DH is not isolating away from the me and DC, I challenge any other family in a modest house with one bathroom and two small children to do this. Impossible. This was a decision we made and I and the DC will be testing with lateral flows throughout the period as well as a PCR towards the end so we don't accidentally end isolation before we need to.

Its not impossible! I isolated in my own bedroom away from my kids and husband in a flat with one bathroom, for 7 days. Every time I used the toilet, my husband would anti bac it all down and guess what, none of them caught covid. So you're wrong.

I don't agree with your neighbour. Its ridiculous to think you cannot go into your own garden.

Its not impossible! I isolated in my own bedroom away from my kids and husband in a flat with one bathroom, for 7 days. Every time I used the toilet, my husband would anti bac it all down and guess what, none of them caught covid. So you're wrong.

That's fine if you've got a spare bedroom!

@WouldBeGood

I am absolutely sick of society being ruled by those who are irrationally anxious.

but it's not, is it.

The neighbours are pissed off. That has no effect on anyone but them.
Same as people who professionally offended. It does not matter.

They have the right to be pissed off, you have the right to ignore them.

@PinkSparklyPussyCat Most people have a comfy sofa?

@blakeway45 I find your proposed reply highly appropriate :)

@PinkSparklyPussyCat

Its not impossible! I isolated in my own bedroom away from my kids and husband in a flat with one bathroom, for 7 days. Every time I used the toilet, my husband would anti bac it all down and guess what, none of them caught covid. So you're wrong.

That's fine if you've got a spare bedroom!

A spare bedroom? It was my bedroom. My husband slept on the sofa for 7 nights. 🤣

[quote DoubleTweenQueen]@PinkSparklyPussyCat Most people have a comfy sofa?[/quote]
Exactly what @DoubleTweenQueen said. 😊

I know last year there was talk of cats catching it and stuff about transmitting it on fur . I'd forgotten about that by the time ds3 caught covid though and my cats went out.

We didn't isolate from him either and won't be isolating from each other if anyone else in the house hold catches it. It was raining most of the time so we didn't go out in the garden. If we had to isolate when the weather was warm we would though

@blakeway45

Oh goodness, thank you for all your replies. I am glad you all agree (bar Doodlebug). I haven't yet replied to NDN but I am conscious that I don't want to aggravate the situation/encourage her anxieties so am planning on sending something tomorrow morning along the lines of:

"Following the concerns you have expressed I have checked the Government and NHS guidance as well as contacted track and trace directly, as I would hate to put you or X at any risk. I can confirm we are able to be out and about in our private garden as it is within the rules. We will be isolating until 25 June, unless another of one us tests positive, in which case it will be longer."

For those commenting on why DH is not isolating away from the me and DC, I challenge any other family in a modest house with one bathroom and two small children to do this. Impossible. This was a decision we made and I and the DC will be testing with lateral flows throughout the period as well as a PCR towards the end so we don't accidentally end isolation before we need to.

Far too much information and giving them a chink to argue with you. They're perfectly capable to looking up the guidelines. Giving them dates, 'I hate to . . . ' sort of wishy washy apologies, etc is just fodder to people like this. Honestly, any response you give them just encourages them to engage with you. Her anxieties are her problem, not yours.

As for the whole why aren't you isolating your DH, just don't even bother justifying yourself, either. You do you. Others can do themselves.

@blakeway45

Oh goodness, thank you for all your replies. I am glad you all agree (bar Doodlebug). I haven't yet replied to NDN but I am conscious that I don't want to aggravate the situation/encourage her anxieties so am planning on sending something tomorrow morning along the lines of:

"Following the concerns you have expressed I have checked the Government and NHS guidance as well as contacted track and trace directly, as I would hate to put you or X at any risk. I can confirm we are able to be out and about in our private garden as it is within the rules. We will be isolating until 25 June, unless another of one us tests positive, in which case it will be longer."

For those commenting on why DH is not isolating away from the me and DC, I challenge any other family in a modest house with one bathroom and two small children to do this. Impossible. This was a decision we made and I and the DC will be testing with lateral flows throughout the period as well as a PCR towards the end so we don't accidentally end isolation before we need to.

Too wordy, too apologetic, too deferential. Stop justifying yourself to them. Polite doesn't mean you have to fawn.

@PinkSparklyPussyCat

Its not impossible! I isolated in my own bedroom away from my kids and husband in a flat with one bathroom, for 7 days. Every time I used the toilet, my husband would anti bac it all down and guess what, none of them caught covid. So you're wrong.

That's fine if you've got a spare bedroom!

This!

I certainly wouldn't want to be on the couch for over a week and wouldn't want oh to be either. And if it was one of the kids who was positive I wouldn't want to lock the other out of their own room for over a week either.

We've never isolated from each other when poorly as just don't have the space. I did get norovirus from my son, but suspect that was far more to do with being the one who had to clean up all the sick. Oh, despite sharing a bed with me didn't get it.

100% what they said about your message to the NDN @blakeway45

FAR too much time and effort and fawning!

Don’t JADE here, you have nothing to justify, argue, defend OR explain

Just ignore them totally and carry on and inform MIL that she doesn’t need to defend or explain anything to them about your decisions and certainly not for her to pass on any information from them to you.

You’re not naughty childen, you’re fully grown adults isolating in your house and garden. If THEY have a problem THEY can stay out of their garden but you won’t be staying out of yours

Yes for sitting on, not for sleeping on for 10 days!

Anyway, i won’t be giving up my bed for anyone. DH is welcome to sleep on the sofa if he wants but there’s no way I am! We’ve never isolated from each other when we’ve been ill and I’m not starting now.

Some interesting replies here, with some of you making it very obvious why CV is still a problem in the UK.

The justifications for refusing to isolate from people you live with, even when they've tested positive are just that Excuses.

If people are self-isolating, whoever tested positive should be staying away from everyone else in the household. Carrying on regardless, and insisting that everyone else can just get stuffed, is horrible.

It's a legal requirement to self-isolate. So no going out shopping, no walking the dog. None of that.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/self-isolation-and-treatment/how-to-avoid-spreading-coronavirus-to-people-you-live-with/

@Jellybabiesforbreakfast

Maybe you have to get someone else to let your cat out too. Or does the cat have to isolate as well?

Covid is zoonotic, which is allegedly how all this started in the first place.

@Doodlebug71 as you seem to be struggling to understand not everyone has ideal living conditions let me explain. I cannot isolate completely from DH. We have a one bedroom flat and, even if one of slept on the sofa, the other one would have no choice but to go through the living room. It’s not possible to get to the kitchen or bathroom without doing so.

I agree it’s a legal requirement to self isolate but it’s not a legal requirement to do so from each other so we’ll carry on as we are.

Oh and the cat will be going in the garden as much as he wants. He can’t get out of the garden so he won’t be hurting anyone

@Doodlebug71

OP has posted this on a public website. Millions of people reading and subscribing. It won't be long before they're recognised.

😂😂😂 Don’t be ridiculous 😂😂😂

@PinkSparklyPussyCat I don’t imagine Doodlebug is pointedly speaking to your own personal circumstances. Read the WHO guidance. It’s all available. Do what you can, in your own circs. Not difficult.

[quote Doodlebug71]Some interesting replies here, with some of you making it very obvious why CV is still a problem in the UK.

The justifications for refusing to isolate from people you live with, even when they've tested positive are just that Excuses.

If people are self-isolating, whoever tested positive should be staying away from everyone else in the household. Carrying on regardless, and insisting that everyone else can just get stuffed, is horrible.

It's a legal requirement to self-isolate. So no going out shopping, no walking the dog. None of that.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/self-isolation-and-treatment/how-to-avoid-spreading-coronavirus-to-people-you-live-with/[/quote]
Hi @Doodlebug71. This wasn't the focus of my original post, so feel free to go and set up your own thread elsewhere with this chat.

Thanks everyone. I sent a shortened version of my draft I shared with you and she came straight back to say we'll agree to disagree. As far as I'm concerned we shan't talk of it again.

People have gone mad with Covid. What will they do when life goes back to normal? Yanbu of course.

[quote DoubleTweenQueen]@PinkSparklyPussyCat I don’t imagine Doodlebug is pointedly speaking to your own personal circumstances. Read the WHO guidance. It’s all available. Do what you can, in your own circs. Not difficult.[/quote]
Good God, do I have to explain?! I know it’s not just me, other posters have said pretty much the same thing but Doodlebug is still going on about isolating from each other!

To make it clear to those who don’t understand, I was using my circumstances as an example.

I’ve not read all of this but the virus doesn’t fly! Its droplets in the air and they will drift and settle on what they meet first so a fence or hedge is a perfectly adequate barrier 🤦🏻‍♀️ Numptys honestly!