Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Still a friend?

9 replies

LadyOfLittleLeisure · 17/06/2021 12:26

Don't want to add too many details as she knows I use MN, but this might be a bit identifying anyway. I have a close (or so I thought) family friend, her DH has known my DH a long time and we used to see each other semi regularly despite living far apart. We were all part of a WhatsApp group that we used to share jokes and arrange to meet up etc. Her DH always goaded me a bit making sexist jokes etc, which I usually just argued my case and then changed the subject. Eventually I snapped and said I really didn't like some of the stuff he said and left the group. I still talked to his DW though. Recently I've been asking her if they want to meet up and she either doesn't reply or makes an excuse. The last time I asked was a fortnight ago, no reply or nothing since. AIBU to think this friendship has run its course? Should I say something or has this just come to a natural end now?

It's a bit of a shame because I got on really well with her, just not him. So as not to drip feed he can be very controlling with her so I am a tiny bit scared of losing contact with her altogether (she told me some concerning things in confidence...)

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 17/06/2021 12:48

Well she's a tit for staying with someone like that AND for letting him dictate her friendships.

She doesn't want to be friends anymore from the sound of it. She's either been told not to or doesn't want any awkwardness.

Leave it.

bloodyhell19 · 17/06/2021 12:50

I'd say your friendship has paused rather than ran its course maybe - especially if her H has a history of being very controlling etc then I'd assume he's in her ear telling her to stay away from you for whatever reason. I wouldn't write her off and I wouldn't shut the door on the friendship, but I would maybe stop contacting her for a while. I'd be there if she ever did get back in contact one day and need help.

LadyOfLittleLeisure · 17/06/2021 16:16

Yeah, I was so tempted to ask her why she won't get back to me or make a comment on it, but it isn't really worth having a big fight. It was so bloody awkward when I told her DH I really, really didn't want to hear any more of his shit jokes or opinions anymore.

OP posts:
Aprilx · 17/06/2021 16:22

When you say you have been “asking her if they want to meet up” do you mean “asking her if she wants to meet up”? Because if you really meant “they” well to be honest I wouldn’t know what to say to you either after that incident with my husband.

MikeWozniaksGloriousTache · 17/06/2021 16:26

@Aprilx

When you say you have been “asking her if they want to meet up” do you mean “asking her if she wants to meet up”? Because if you really meant “they” well to be honest I wouldn’t know what to say to you either after that incident with my husband.
I was thinking the same thing.
LadyOfLittleLeisure · 17/06/2021 16:30

Hmmm good point @Aprilx and @MikeWozniaksGloriousTache I would prefer to see just her but as they would have to travel so far and seemingly never do anything separately I felt I had to invite both. Her DH is also childhood friends with my DH so I couldn't really just invite her.

OP posts:
LadyOfLittleLeisure · 17/06/2021 16:33

I'm starting to feel that I shouldn't have said anything to her husband and just muted the WhatsApp group.

OP posts:
bloodyhell19 · 17/06/2021 16:38

@LadyOfLittleLeisure

I'm starting to feel that I shouldn't have said anything to her husband and just muted the WhatsApp group.
Yeah... Considering its DH's friend and you like her, I would have just muted the group and not reacted to him at all... Because that's what dickheads usually want. I wouldn't have flounced given the prior friendship with my DH. But that horse has bolted now...
LadyOfLittleLeisure · 17/06/2021 16:45

@bloodyhell19 yup, you're right, I'm pretty sure it was exactly what he wanted. I'll just leave it unanswered with her then

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page