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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What do I do at a party?

96 replies

Rainalldaylong · 17/06/2021 10:54

Hosting my DD’s first proper birthday party with some of her little friends in a few weeks. It’s at a small restaurant with outside playground space & and a small bouncy castle. The restaurant are preparing a table with snacks I’ve requested for the children-sandwiches, fruit, cupcakes etc. The adults can obviously consume the food and order extra/different drinks from the bar if they wish. I’m also bringing bubble wands for the kids and probably party bags to take home.
What else do I do? Do I walk around sort of directing things or is that basically it, sit back and chat with the mums? Do I organise any games at this age? I’m just not sure how much of a role I need to take? 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
SwimBaby · 17/06/2021 12:18

I think it sounds a lovely party and providing plenty of food so the adults can have a bit is a a really nice thing to do.

Rainalldaylong · 17/06/2021 12:19

@inappropriateraspberry Is that easy to keep track of? Would I then say to the restaurant I’d pay for all the first drinks?

OP posts:
SummerBreeze1980 · 17/06/2021 12:22

Greet all the guests when they arrive. I would buy a drink for all the adults but you don't need to. When it is time to eat call them in from playing. Relax and chat with the other parents. You could take a 'pass the parcel' if you wanted but optional. They'll have enough to keep them busy with the play equipment/bouncy castle/bubble wands. Near the end of the party you do the cake, then cut up slices for the party bags. Then at the end hand out the party bags. Job done!

khakiandcoral · 17/06/2021 12:23

CassandrasCastle

Good luck, the kids tend to be great (in general), it's dealing with the many CF parents that gets challenging with kids parties.

Rainalldaylong · 17/06/2021 12:26

@SwimBaby I was hoping all food, water & juice would be enough, it’s a restaurant too, so it’s nice party food if you like, proper sandwiches, fruit platters, nibbles, cakes, doughnuts, fruit, marshmallow & chocolate kebabs etc. I’m not sure if I should then pay for their bar drinks 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
inappropriateraspberry · 17/06/2021 12:26

[quote Rainalldaylong]@inappropriateraspberry Is that easy to keep track of? Would I then say to the restaurant I’d pay for all the first drinks?[/quote]
Just ask them what they want when they arrive and order as you go. How many are coming? I presume there'll be just one parent per guest, you don't normally get both coming!
You'll know who you've asked or not, unless you've invited 50 or so!

inappropriateraspberry · 17/06/2021 12:27

You say 'bar drinks.' I would just ask if they want tea or coffee, nothing alcoholic! If not, direct them to the soft drink in the table or tell them they can order something else.

SummerBreeze1980 · 17/06/2021 12:28

Oh and if you decide to do any party games like musical bumps - do it before the food! Don't want to have to clear up toddler sick!!

FortunesFave · 17/06/2021 12:30

Bubble wands sound nice but three year olds spill them and stab one another with the wands.

I'd get the bubble machine and some balloons.

Just tie ordinary balloons to some strings and they'll run around smacking one another with them. Don't do helium as they always let them go and cry.

God I'm painting a fun picture!

3Britnee · 17/06/2021 12:31

[quote Rainalldaylong]@SwimBaby I was hoping all food, water & juice would be enough, it’s a restaurant too, so it’s nice party food if you like, proper sandwiches, fruit platters, nibbles, cakes, doughnuts, fruit, marshmallow & chocolate kebabs etc. I’m not sure if I should then pay for their bar drinks 🤷🏻‍♀️[/quote]
I think what you've provided is enough. You could ask the restaurant to put out those flasks you have in meetings, where you press the button, of tea and coffee but an open bar is overkill. It's a child's bday party before lunch, no one needs alcohol.

Pythonesque · 17/06/2021 12:32

I wouldn't try pass the parcel at that age (maybe at a party for a 3 yr old with older siblings and where others invited to the party were also older). We did a whole class birthday party when my daughter was 5, she was old in her year so most children there were 4. It turned out they needed a LOT of help to manage pass the parcel.

The setup you've arranged sounds like it should be a great party.

FortunesFave · 17/06/2021 12:33

And make sure ALL the kids get a gift in pass the parcel...AND the Birthday girl can't win the main prize either!

I've been to two parties where that happened (and I've been to about a million) and the other parents were Shock it's not the done thing.

The idea is to put something little in each layer....not sweets...a small toy. Or a small thin book. Keep a sharp eye out that they all win.

And keep a few things to one side for emergencies.

FortunesFave · 17/06/2021 12:35

@Pythonesque

I wouldn't try pass the parcel at that age (maybe at a party for a 3 yr old with older siblings and where others invited to the party were also older). We did a whole class birthday party when my daughter was 5, she was old in her year so most children there were 4. It turned out they needed a LOT of help to manage pass the parcel.

The setup you've arranged sounds like it should be a great party.

This is actually very true!

A good alternative is to do a lucky dip. If you sense things flagging or the kids getting too raucous...pull out a bin you prepared earlier...full of cheap wrapped gifts. Make them all queue up...get them to sing a song or something while they wait.

SummerBreeze1980 · 17/06/2021 12:37

The first pass the parcel I did was when my son was 2. Parents help them keep passing! I put little finger puppets as the prizes in-between layers.

jsp5642 · 17/06/2021 12:38

I love your subject line for this. I've been wondering the same for years. :-)

LondonJax · 17/06/2021 12:46

I wouldn't get too hung up on party games at this age. When my DS was 3-5 years old all they wanted to do was run about and play on equipment. Even at home, with just ride on's in the garden and a few boxes of DS's toys, you'd never get them together again once they started! Trying to get them all together, having just got onto a slide or the bouncy castle, can be a nightmare as they don't want to leave it! So you either start with that - before they even look at the play area - or leave it.

Be careful with the bubble machine - make sure the bubbles stay off the bouncy castle as it'll make the surface slippery. Lesson learned there ages ago...

Drinks wise for the parents, I'd offer a drink ('what can I get you') when they arrive. To save you leaving guests if they're late, see if you can rope in another parent or your DP to get the drinks as people arrive or you'll be trying to keep an eye for new arrivals, ordering drinks and supervising! Or wait until they're all arrived, settled and chatting then get an order of drinks. After that it's fairly easy to offer another if you see empty glasses or just tell people they can buy their own. If you want to offer to pay for drinks just explain it's tea/coffee or soft drinks and make sure the bar know that. They'll be used to that sort of thing so they'll guide parents. At soft play areas for birthdays we just used to get a tea/coffee/soft drink then offer a top up as we saw people needed them. Often people would beat us to it and go off to buy a couple of coffees. Parents are usually chatting with half an eye on the little ones so they're not going to be too fussed (we were always grateful for a sit down with a cola!)

One thing I will say is to say to parents the kids get their food first. We had that as a rule after one mum filled her plate leaving not a lot of choice for the kids. At the end of the day it's a party for the kids. Normally parents will get their little ones a plate of what they like, get them settled then 'nibble round the edges' as far as feeding themselves are concerned. I got really used to grabbing a handful of crisps then dashing off to supervise DS or join another mum to break up a fight over a swing! But if you just say 'the food's ready, can we get the children sorted out first then help yourselves' they'll understand and it stops the parents filling their boots whilst a three year old watches the sandwiches disappearing!

Yes to the goody bags. And yes to putting names on. Even if they're the same. As one PP said it helps to know who has had a bag (you may find a number of little hands ready to grab), and it helps if a bag has been left somewhere, no-one else's bag gets 'found' by mistake only to find the person's whose was missing now has two... (again, lesson learned...) Give them out with a 'hope you had a really good time' to signal the end.

One last tip, if you're giving out cake at the end (we would put a piece in the goody bag to save the kids trying to juggle) wrap the cake in foil then in a napkin. If it goes into just a napkin it'll be a squished mess as the icing will seep.

Have fun!

LondonJax · 17/06/2021 12:47

@FortunesFave - great idea about the lucky dip! It stops that child who is determined to rip as many sheets off the pass the parcel as possible!

FortunesFave · 17/06/2021 12:49

[quote LondonJax]@FortunesFave - great idea about the lucky dip! It stops that child who is determined to rip as many sheets off the pass the parcel as possible![/quote]
Ooh yes! And the one who simply holds it and won't pass it on. Then cries when made to! 😂

LondonJax · 17/06/2021 12:53

Ooh yes! And the one who simply holds it and won't pass it on. Then cries when made to! 😂*

And that's just the parents @FortunesFave...Grin

theemmadilemma · 17/06/2021 12:54

If your phone isn't very loud grab a bluetooth speaker, you can probably pick up a decent one for £10 these days.

Rainalldaylong · 17/06/2021 12:56

Oh my god 🙈this is stressing me out 🤣is it usually a stressful day? Do people enjoy doing it?

OP posts:
HeyGepetto · 17/06/2021 12:57

I used to find games like musical statues work better than pass the parcel at that age, most kids can’t open the parcel without help... I adapt it for little ones by getting them to do a particular thing each time (pretend to be a cat/monkey/freeze/silly pose) and give a medal (those little cheap ones you get) for the ‘best’ each time until everyone had one (then no one had to be out).
Things like Hop Little Bunnies are fun at that age too.
I think it’s a good idea to at least be prepared to do a couple of games, if everyone is having a fab time then you don’t have to do them, but if people look a bit bored then you’re ready.

SwimBaby · 17/06/2021 12:59

I wouldn’t pay any bar bills.

Rainalldaylong · 17/06/2021 12:59

Is two hours too long/short or the average?

OP posts:
SwimBaby · 17/06/2021 13:00

2 hours is perfect.

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