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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder if a couple are spying on my son on whatsapp

38 replies

southerngirl10 · 16/06/2021 19:48

My DS received nasty texts from a couple at my son's school. I started a thread on the weekend and was advised to go to the police. Now, this couple's profiles have appeared on my DS's phone. He said he definitely didn't add them. Their son knows my DSs number. I've just checked google and have become aware of Whatsapp spy bots. Anyone come across anything like this before?

OP posts:
KrisAkabusi · 16/06/2021 20:06

If they're spying on him they're unlikely to put their own profiles anywhere near his phone! Is it not just a case that they are in a group chat that your son is also in, say for some after school club? You can see the profiles of other group members that way. But you can't spy on anyone, just see their profiles.

southerngirl10 · 16/06/2021 20:21

@KrisAkabusi

If they're spying on him they're unlikely to put their own profiles anywhere near his phone! Is it not just a case that they are in a group chat that your son is also in, say for some after school club? You can see the profiles of other group members that way. But you can't spy on anyone, just see their profiles.
To be honest with you KrisAkabusi I haven't got much of a clue how Whatsapp works. My DS only uses Whatsapp with a small group of friends to play fortnite with and isn't in any groups with them. Their profiles appeared today and are the only adult profiles on his phone. He would never have added them, he really doesn't like them.
OP posts:
4PawsGood · 16/06/2021 20:25

Where exactly in WhatsApp do their profiles appear?

SnackSizeRaisin · 16/06/2021 20:27

If they sent messages it might keep their numbers in the app. You can block them though. I am not sure there's any way of spying on someone via WhatsApp.

4PawsGood · 16/06/2021 20:27

Hang on. You just mean they’ve messaged him. So someone gave them his number and they messaged him. You don’t need to accept them as contacts in WhatsApp.

bookh · 16/06/2021 20:28

IT will be because they messaged him. It's just a messaging app. He will need to block them to remove them. Sort of like they have been added as contacts be jade messages were received.

WilsonMilson · 16/06/2021 20:31

It’ll be because he’s received texts from their number (s), they’ll appear as a WhatsApp contact automatically.
There’s no way to ‘spy’ on someone on WhatsApp- your son can hide his ‘last seen’ quite easily.
I didn’t see your other thread, but a bit intrigued as to why adults are sending your son nasty texts?

Bananarice · 16/06/2021 20:31

I don't know about your situation but after an incident near dbro University, where he forgot to charge his phone. Our family panicked a bit. I then remember my brother using my phone to text his friend. I called the friend who called around and then got back to us to say dbro was well but his phone had dead battery. Afterwards, we as a family left telephone numbers with each other, we could contact each other in case of an emergency.

We not allowed to use these numbers except in a emergency or an incident happens we get scared for their safety. Has something like this possibly happened (without the parents seeking yours or your son permission?)

Geamhradh · 16/06/2021 20:33

They will only appear as "named" contacts if they've been added and saved by your son. Otherwise, their number will appear in his chat list, but only as a number.

SuperSecretSquirrels · 16/06/2021 20:45

Where exactly are their profiles appearing?

4PawsGood · 16/06/2021 20:52

Their number will be on the left of the message, but the name will be on the right, even if he hasn’t added them.

southerngirl10 · 16/06/2021 20:53

Their profile page has appeared in his contacts. He's just blocked them. He had threatening texts from the father on the weekend that stated if my son even looks at his son again he'll find him. My son is 11. I started a police investigation on Sunday and now their faces are there, looking out from his phone.

OP posts:
southerngirl10 · 16/06/2021 20:55

Their profile page has appeared in his contacts. He's just blocked them. I had threatening texts from the father on the weekend that stated if my son even looks at his son again he'll find him. My son is 11. I started a police investigation on Sunday and now their faces are there, looking out from his phone.

OP posts:
Geamhradh · 16/06/2021 20:56

Their name will only be on the right top of the message if they have added their own name to their own WhatsApp profile.
But the OP will only be able to "view contact" (what she means by profile I think) if her son has the number saved.

4PawsGood · 16/06/2021 20:56

Phone contacts or in WhatsApp?

Geamhradh · 16/06/2021 20:58

@southerngirl10

Their profile page has appeared in his contacts. He's just blocked them. I had threatening texts from the father on the weekend that stated if my son even looks at his son again he'll find him. My son is 11. I started a police investigation on Sunday and now their faces are there, looking out from his phone.
You mean their number? With their profile pic alongside? That's just how WhatsApp works, anyone who messages you gets saved as a chat. Your son has done the right thing by blocking them
Redwinestillfine · 16/06/2021 20:58

Take his phone off him until the investigation is over and report any further texts you get. Don't engage.

Bluntness100 · 16/06/2021 20:59

Op I thought you said you had the texts on a previous thread, becayse your son has been accused of bullying their son?

Is your phone linked to your sons? If so that’s how their numbers will appear.

Also no, they are not spying on him via what’s app.

Geamhradh · 16/06/2021 20:59

The son obviously gave the parents your son's number.

lalafafa · 16/06/2021 21:02

Has your son been bullying their son?

Cottonheadedninymuggins · 16/06/2021 21:04

If he's sent threatening texts, then he has your sons number. I'm assuming that means that your phone is using that text messages number as it is associated with a whatsapp profile and that is why it is showing up on his contacts?

I don't know 100% if that's possible but if your son doesn't have their number saved in his contacts I'm assuming it's one way.

Cottonheadedninymuggins · 16/06/2021 21:05

Were they threatening texts or threatening whatsapp messages? (ie - did they send them via whatsapp?)

southerngirl10 · 16/06/2021 21:13

They were added to my son's contacts but he only saw they were added this evening. He didn't add them. How could they add themselves to my son's phone?

OP posts:
southerngirl10 · 16/06/2021 21:15

@Cottonheadedninymuggins

Were they threatening texts or threatening whatsapp messages? (ie - did they send them via whatsapp?)
The father sent threatening texts to my phone about my son on the weekend. I contacted the police.
OP posts:
ClarisseMcClellan · 16/06/2021 21:20

It's not quite making sense

What exactly do you mean by appearing in his contacts. You can't add yourself to someone else's address book. If they are contacts someone has actively added them