Ok, bear with me.
I have 2 dc with my ex but we split up 3 years ago due to his abusive behaviour. In this time he has caused no end of grief and aggro for me.
He is largely involved in the kids lives as I would expect him to be, but he can't seem to stop lashing out at me. He lives in a different town to me and picks the kids up from school on a Tuesday and a Friday.
On the Tuesday he makes tea at mine for all of us (I work til later on) then usually helps sort the kids with homework and getting ready for bed etc.
On Friday he will pick them up and take them back to his home and have them overnight and I will pick them back up on saturday evening about 6pm ish.
Increasingly, he is becoming more and more abusive to me and causing arguments in my home. It's getting to a point where it happens every week, then when he leaves I gets texts from him apologising but then going on to say how it's my fault and he is angry with me because I'm being 'over friendly' with him and 'fllrting' - his words.
I'm not doing any of these things, I try to remain on good terms for the sake of the kids and certainly do not flirt with him, I'm just friendly as I can't see the point in being bitter.
It's the cycle I can't stand, it's really bad. He creates an argument, then I get a text later on saying he's sorry but it's my fault he is angry as I'm too nice to him. Then when I don't reply that makes him angry too. And on and on it goes. The cycle repeats.
He hasn't got over me yet and I can't understand why but his texts are abusive and controlling and he keeps going on about me getting a new bloke and having a relationship which a) I dont have a new bloke at all, I'm not even close to that and b) it's none if his business if I do.
He says my friendliness gives him false hope and therefore he can't help lashing out at me. I rang him last night as it was the latest barrage of abuse and stated something which I have been telling him for months and months which is "I do not want a relationship with you". Honestly i have lost count the number of times i have told him this and I definitely do not lead him on or leave him with any uncertainty as to where I stand. His response last night was "well you should have been clearer". I couldn't have said it any more clearer if I tried, I've been saying it for months now.
Is this harassment? I feel harassed by his arguing then texting only to create another argument again. I'm over him and have been for a long time. 3 years later he should be over me. I don't know what to do. His texts are purely vile and he is obsessed with me. It's awful and exhausting.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Ps he told me last week he didn't want my friendship and I said ok and accepted it. Yet he is still arguing with me even though I'm being civil (not my usual friendly self) and blowing up my phone with his abuse. I am at breaking point.