AIBU to be fed up of being blamed for everything where DD is concerned?

[SNMUM95]

A single mum to DD, ex sees her for a few hours every week, pays maintenance every month, but in general is happy to play dad for a few hours then go back to his own life.

I do everything for DD and have done since we split 5 years ago.

Just recently he has pretty much blamed me for everything wrong with DD - if she doesn’t listen to me when I’m telling her something then I’m an unfit parent and she shouldn’t be living with me, if she doesn’t eat a variety of food (she has ASD and has a limited diet) then it’s because I’m a shit parent who doesn’t cook enough for her and just lately apparently it’s my fault she’s got impetigo again because she lays on the rug at home and because I haven’t put the bed sheets back on yet (I had to boil them twice just recently because of bug and then COVID case so waiting to put them back on, but need help because I have a mobility condition).

It feels that everything I do is wrong and he is constantly finding ways to make me out to be an unfit parent…

How do I deal with this without completely losing my shit?!

Couldn't you buy an extra sbeet. I have never heard of only having one beddng set.i am farfar from a domestic goddess but Sleeping on a bare mattress is a line i couldn't imagine crossing especially if you have had a problem with bugs

Gosh I'd be so tempted to start doing it back, turn the tables ...

"she is a rubbish eater because you haven't cooked a variety of meals for her in the X years she's been alive...."

"When was the last time you did x for her?"

But that's probably not the best course of action. I think realistically he's probably trying to get a rise out of you and I'd probably limit how much I spoke to him and if I had to talk to him, it'd be Grey Rock all the way

www.healthline.com/health/grey-rock

See if you can limit conversations re: pick up and drop off etc to text message. Might curb some of the conversations.

Can't your dd help with the sheet? My kids have been expected to help especially when they were in bunk beds and the far corners against the wall of the top bunk were difficult.

You need the start ending the phonecalls that turn abusive.

I would genuinely say that to him. How dare he. Just, how dare he. He gets to swan in and take DD out for the day, or do something with her and you’re left with absolutely everything else? Nah. The liberty of the man!

Best thing to do to individuals like that is to blank their comments completely and not allow them to see you are upset about them. This will really piss them off.

Impetigo is caused by a bacteria and this can be transmitted by coming into contact with the sores of someone who's infected or with items they've touched — such as clothing, bed linen, towels and even toys

I'm sure I'm singing to the choir here but you need to

keep the affected areas clean and wash them with mild soap and running water and then cover lightly with gauze.

wash an infected person's clothes, linens and towels every day with hot water and don't share them with anyone else in your family.

wear gloves when applying antibiotic ointment and wash your hands thoroughly afterward.

Cut an infected child's nails short to prevent damage from scratching.

Encourage regular and thorough handwashing and good hygiene in general.

Keep your child with impetigo home until your doctor says they aren't contagious.

You have my sympathies @SNMUM95

Thank you everyone for your responses - I usually do have someone to help me change the bed, however because my daughter has had covid we haven’t had anyone over to limit the risk of exposure and spreading - the new bedsheets are back on now though - and DD unfortunately has had impetigo a few times, I do try my best to keep the house reasonable clean and tidy, it’s never disgusting or really dirty or anything and up until recently had a cleaner once a week to go over the bits I find difficult too, because of DD’s autism and sensory needs she CONSTANTLY has her hands in her mouth and it’s difficult to wash her hands all day long (we do obviously wash them when coming home from outside, before eating, after toilet, etc) and she has skin conditions that unfortunately do make her more susceptible to it, also some people naturally have the bacteria up their noses which makes it more likely to be reoccurring too rather than a hygiene problem (DD is bathed every night and in clean clothes and pj’s every day too) I think he is just trying to get a rise out of me, when he literally does nothing himself for DD, so I think I’m going to just change the way I respond to him and hope he gets bored and gives up doing it! X

We had to isolate for 10 days because of my daughter’s covid which meant that we weren’t receiving the normal help and care that we usually do x