Things in books that instantly made you put it down

[IronTeeth]

I was reading a book, and it was OK (not brilliant, but had some interesting maybe potential.... and then this (image)

Ooh, you smell fresh, innocent like a good egg... not like a nasty spoiled one...

(The first in the Half-Moon Hollow series is “wry, delicious fun” (Susan Andersen, New York Times bestselling author) as it follows a librarian...)

Fascinating about using US English words in British novels. I think this happens in films too - British actors using US words or phrasing. Very annoying (alienating even!) for British audiences!

Won't name the book but if you read it or got as far as me you'll know. Where the 'sibling' turns out to be a bloody monkey! (About a quarter of the way through). I stopped reading in disgust.

I liked the monkey sibling book! :-D

I threw a book down in disgust when the explanation turned out to be "identical twins separated at birth"

There was a free book given out at Latitude a few years ago - within the first paragraph was the phrase 'She parted her lids', to stand in for 'She woke up'.

It's a running joke for waking people up in our house now - 'Oi, part your lids!'

That monkey book was so irritating!

What's the title of the monkey book?

Just as long as you don't want any inconvenient historical fact with your fiction..

You mean like Hilary Mantel turning Thomas Cromwell into Nick Clegg?

The use of the word gorgeous. In a book I started last week an unexpected guest arrives and the character states "oh Mason, what a gorgeous, gorgeous surprise". Winds me right up and I have no idea why.

@Andante57

Just as long as you don't want any inconvenient historical fact with your fiction..

You mean like Hilary Mantel turning Thomas Cromwell into Nick Clegg?

I have tried Wolf Hall three times, but apart from everyone being called Thomas, which I know is not her fault, the present tense did my head in. Thinking of Nick Clegg, who would be way behind even Boris and Farage in a kiss/shag/marry game has put me off trying a fourth time, even though A Place of Greater Safety is one of my all-time favourite books.

@Maireas

What's the title of the monkey book?

We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves.

Not a likeable character in it. Plus the premise is just annoying.

I have tried Wolf Hall three times

SOLINVICTUS - I tried it once and gave up. I wish I did like it as it and its successors would keep one in reading matter for ages.
Unfortunately none of my favourite books have had sequels.

I see your "padding" and I raise you "trotting". One author, who I otherwise like a lot, always has her female characters trotting around. They're not ponies!

A book I started reading cannot even remember it but best seller - it mentioned Argos. The shop. I put it in the charity bag.

I don't really understand this. Presuming it's a book set in recent times in the UK, why shouldn't it mention Argos? It wouldn't occur to me that might put readers off!

I put down a book by Shaun Hutson that had a gratuitous detailed description of the making of a snuff porn movie. There was no need for it and I refuse to read any of his books now.

Jack Crawford “pads” in Silence of the Lambs.

@JackieTheFart

If she is actually capable of writing decent books it's a shame she keeps churning out rubbish but she's probably onto a winner, money-wise.

Glad it is not just me who didn't enjoy it anyway. It had so many 5 star reviews on GoodReads and I just couldn't understand it. Complete dross!

@NotATreacleTart Gagging at 'baby batter'!

@susiebluebell I just thought I cannot handle how she writes sex scenes if baby batter is her go to description.

When people call their sibling “Bro” or “Sis”, drives me up the wall.

The book was Weapons of Math Destruction by Cathy O'Neil.
It is a supposedly serious work about the misuse of data. It has won awards.

It contains the line
"When Police in the British city of Kent ...." (p88)

@TurquoiseDragon

I put down a book by Shaun Hutson that had a gratuitous detailed description of the making of a snuff porn movie. There was no need for it and I refuse to read any of his books now.

Was it called Relics? Cause that was truely awful. I got a few pages in and decided I really didn’t need that in my head because it was gore for the sake of gore.

Any end of the world/zombie/disaster books where women are suddenly all turned into delicate flowers who need men to protect them, Protect them with GUNS, loads of guns and every man is suddenly ex-SAS and the panties just fall off in gratitude and awe of their manliness.

Like several on here, any book which has a detailed and graphic sex scene, for whatever reason. And clichéd characters like a sullen, difficult teenage daughter or a supposedly nice partner who turns out to be nasty.

@Andante57

Just as long as you don't want any inconvenient historical fact with your fiction..

You mean like Hilary Mantel turning Thomas Cromwell into Nick Clegg?

If Nick Clegg was an omnicompetent political fixer and spymaster, with considerable side talents in cooking, cloth, languages, accountancy, soldiering, parliament-wrangling and queen-killing, then I have completely misunderstood the Lib Dems. [grim]

Modern day kids being called names like Angela and Ken, as if. Male protagonists having strong brows, chiselled jaws and always always tall. Never Tom Cruise height. In crime novels the male and female detectives always start off on the wrong foot then drag out the will they, won't they saga for five books.

A character who was only 30 had parents callled Wilf and Ada and Wilf supposedly fought in WW2 and the book was set in 2018. I just couldn't get past it. How old must his mother have been when she had him, are books not edited?

@bridgetreilly

A book I started reading cannot even remember it but best seller - it mentioned Argos. The shop. I put it in the charity bag.

I don't really understand this. Presuming it's a book set in recent times in the UK, why shouldn't it mention Argos? It wouldn't occur to me that might put readers off!

I don't understand either. Do you have some rooted objection to Argos appearing in a novel? Assuming, as you say, @bridgetreilly, that's it's not set in Tudor England or 20s Chile, or something.