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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wallow in self pity and eat 2 donuts and a some Crisps

23 replies

Dressingup · 15/06/2021 23:11

Back story is I got diagnosed with endometriosis endometriosis around 18 but had been having awful periods since I was 12. I’ve had 3 surgeries and it’s slowly getting worse I’ve tried all sorts of medicines painkillers massage therapy tens machine you name it I’ve tried it. Nothing has ever fully worked even the morphine still has me crying in pain on extreme days I’m bed bound. Im often sick and passing out and also get migraines and struggle with my bladder especially if I laugh. Over the years I’ve had pelvic pain especially in my hips mainly after long walks or around my period it’s slowly getting worse to the point it hurts to walk long distances. I’m really wanting kids but am worried about chances of conception and then if I have kids how I will cope when I’m this ill. My partner is so lovely and tells me how strong I am he even text me after the recent family holiday to say how well I coped and that he knew I was hiding my pain to be able to try and go out with family for the days. But tonight I just had to have a big cry and no matter what anyone could of said I just had to cry eat some crap for dinner. It’s recently just got so much worse. We are supposed to be going to IKEA and Costco on the weekend and I’m debating how I’m going to walk round. I also really don’t want to have to borrow a wheel chair last bit of independence I have I’m just so at a loss.
I’ve seen the top endometriosis specialist in the uk and other endometriosis doctors and there all at a loss for what else I can try only solution at the moment is pain relief and some other meds until I’ve had children and then we can re evaluate but even hysterectomys aren’t a cure

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PurpleyBlue · 15/06/2021 23:14

Flowers you poor thing. Eat the donuts and crisps. I feel for you.

Anna727b · 15/06/2021 23:19

Definitely not unreasonable. I'm so sorry you're very ill with this and that you are having to make a choice between being in severe pain and starting a family.

I hope the donuts and crisps help a little bit.

Dressingup · 15/06/2021 23:32

They helped a little Thanks just had a family holiday and I was so ill had a day trip planned to a place I’ve always wanted to visit and wouldn’t get the chance to probably again I wanted to cry when the walk from the car was down a hill and then up again took at least ten minutes each way after we stopped of at McDonald’s and I had to leave to go and sleep in the car. I’m 27 and can’t even work full time or get help from the government

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Dressingup · 16/06/2021 07:30

Woke up feeling awful but I have no choice but to go to work I’ve already been sick 😷

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SticksAndStoned · 16/06/2021 08:07

Oh that sounds awful. Have all the doughnuts!

A friend of mine suffered with endometriosis. She tried everything she could. She came across a woman online that said changing her diet to whole food plant based changed her life. My friend tried it, and is so much better. She's not eating that way all of the time, and she still gets some symptoms (I don't know if the two things are related), but she's so much better than she was.

I don't suppose that works for everyone, but it might be worth a try (if you haven't already) given how severe your symptoms are.

She eats that way pretty much all the time at home, and doesn't worry about it when she's out for lunch or dinner, maybe once or twice a week, just to give you an idea.

KaptainKaveman · 16/06/2021 08:12

OP that sounds awful. It may sound extreme but I would consider a hysterectomy with uterus removal.

Dressingup · 16/06/2021 08:59

A hysterectomy won’t cure me pluss I desperately want to try for children once that’s out the way I will have one but it’s not a cure but it may help

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AlfonsoTheMango · 16/06/2021 09:04

Do it. Sometimes donuts and crisps are the only things that help.

SticksAndStoned · 16/06/2021 09:05

I asked Elaine, and this is the person that she found, but she says there's loads of info online about it.

www.thekitchn.com/how-a-plant-based-diet-eased-my-endometriosis-249553

Dressingup · 16/06/2021 09:26

Thanks I’ve tried plant based going gluten free etc didnt make a difference

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MissSmiley · 16/06/2021 09:47

How does your current partner feel about having kids now?
Personally I would ttc and then have the hysterectomy after kids, it might not cure you because obviously the cells will be elsewhere but it might help

PurpleyBlue · 16/06/2021 10:02

Are you TTC now? If so I wish you the very best of luck Flowers

Dressingup · 16/06/2021 10:14

He’s happy to try now but we are going to wait until January as that’s when we will hopefully have brought a house together both have our own places now

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Dressingup · 16/06/2021 11:23

Not sure what I’m suspected to do long term I’ve lost 2 jobs due to my endometriosis I’m holding on to this job but I’m yet to have a sick day have been sick at work in the toilets dosed up on codine to get me through I don’t qualify for help either

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KarmaStar · 16/06/2021 11:30

Hi op,I'm sorry for your pain and misery,that's awful.
Obviously I have no idea of your personal beliefs,so please forgive me if this upsets you.
Have you considered seeing a psychic surgeon?
You don't have to believe,just trust.
They work,in very basic terms,by a skilled surgeon working through a clairvoyant.
Before you dismiss this,I have seen a gentleman in a wheelchair due for amputation walking on both his own legs which were 100% healthy again and a lady who was weeks away from being totally blind once again having perfect eyesight.
In both cases the consultants have said a miracle has happened.
It's worth a try ?
If not for you,Reiki might very well help.
I do hope you find the answer,chronic pain is so hard to live with.

picklemewalnuts · 16/06/2021 11:35

As someone with a chronic condition, I understand how crap it feels. Some stuff I've learned
Take whatever you can get- get the wheelchair, mobility scooter etc and use it for the boring stuff to leave you with more energy for the good stuff.
Get a disability badge and get dropped off at the door when you can- your dp would rather do that than have you miss out or less able to cope later in the day.
It's not who you are, it's just something you have to work around.
And sometimes, yes, eat the bloody donuts!

And from the radio yesterday:
Be more you- the more you do that you love, the less your pain seems important. You have to do all the good stuff you can, so the crap feels less significant.

Dressingup · 16/06/2021 17:52

@picklemewalnuts thank you for your lovely worlds @KarmaStar don’t something I’m ever comfortable with sorry

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Fiftypounds · 18/06/2021 16:48

Just had my step mum try and recommend some herbal tablets to cure my pain I know she means well but it really annoys me as if it was that easy I would take them

Passthecake30 · 18/06/2021 16:57

Omg poor you. Eat the donuts and crisps, and have a full fat coke while you’re at it!

I had suspected endo about 5 years before dc, but didn’t get to a laparoscopy clinic as I fell pg. Anyway. My that pg resulted in a early miscarriage at 7-8 weeks, and after that, I was completely pain free, and went on to have 2 successful pgs. No return of pain, ever, and I’m now 47 and very much in peri, no period for a year. I’ve read that pregnancy can sort it for some, so if you are TTC, hopefully it has that result for you tooSmile.

Fiftypounds · 18/06/2021 17:52

Thank you I hope it does but you never no I’ve actually spent the last 4 months having unprotected sex and nothings happened yet although we are now going back to protection as where in then middle of trying to buy a house.

Dressingup · 18/06/2021 20:41

Sorry posted Under old username just then

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Passthecake30 · 18/06/2021 21:00

Good luck when you restart. It took me a year with the first (I think that’s pretty standard), less with the others.

Dressingup · 20/06/2021 10:35

Thank you @Passthecake30
Had a bad day yesterday went to a few big shops that are an hours drive away I was in so much pain after the walking. Then the fatigue hit me so we ended up leaving early and I slept the whole way home felt awful and now today I’m exhausted and in pain especially with my hips

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