Long history of bad childhood. My Mother never put her children first only whatever abusive bf /husband she had at the time. Lots of physical/mental abuse including being left outside naked in the street at 9 years old as punishment, nearly being drowned in the bath at 13 and being kicked out to live on the streets at 14. Mother turned a corner (it seemed) when I became an adult and stopped drinking and abusing drugs but continued to put her children last after the needs of any man she was with. She got married a few years ago to a man who made it clear to her he didn’t want to have anything to do with her children so since then contact has been limited anyway. I have recently found out that she has been off work “sick” with fake depression as she wants to spend all her time with this guy for over four months but has been lying to me that she has been going to work because, according to the source I found out from she “doesn’t want me to ask her to look after my kids”. She usually visits my kids once every two weeks at my house by herself for a couple of hours after her work, eats dinner made by me then leaves. She has never asked us to go to hers or looked after my kids.