Should I let DS have his girlfriend around?

[saired]

DS is 15 and his girlfriends 16. They've both just finished year 11. They've been together for a few months. DS has started asked if his girlfriend can stay over but I'm not sure.

Any opinions will be appreciated

Under 16 my dc know not to even ask!! They don't ask for alcohol at home under 18 either.. I have younger dc and have to show a lead by example behaviour!!

In the same room? No. He’s underage and they haven’t been together long.

At that age i would , but not in the same room perhaps

No. He is underage.

When he does turn 16 then yes, but after a serious contraceptive conversation.

Overnight? No way.

No, just like I'd say to a girl of 15. They are underage.

He is underage so no. I wouldn’t just yet, a few months isn’t long either.

Separate rooms and sleep in the hallway!

I think that’s too young

Around yes. Staying over, no.

I think its tricky for year 11s that haven't had their birthday yet. I wouldn't make too much distinction between 15 and 16 at this stage of the school year tbh.

I think I would say not at the moment, I would not want them getting into an emotionally adult relationship too soon. And I think staying over kind of graduates dating into a more serious relationship. If it all becomes too serious it is hard to back pedal.

I think I would allow it.

I would not encourage it, far too young to be getting 'serious' ... is there any reason she needs to stay overnight?

If she dies have to stay overnight ... obviously separate rooms.

If you say no you won't stop them having sex. They'll likely just have it somewhere far less appropriate or safe than their own home. I would (and have) allowed it.

Yes but separate rooms.

Not a chance. They can see eachother during the day, watch a movie into the evening but I wouldn't start allowing sleep overs.

Definitely not.

@amylou8

If you say no you won't stop them having sex. They'll likely just have it somewhere far less appropriate or safe than their own home. I would (and have) allowed it.

People always say this but I'm not sure it's true. Having a conversation about the fact you're not on board because it's not legal and how it's important to consider that is respectful and grown up. That's not the same as 'not under my roof sonny Jim'.

Sleepovers imply sex. That puts pressure on where it needn't be.

@saired

Separate rooms

Definitely not to overnight. FFS.

Nope. No way.

It’s not even a sex thing with me it’s more that it makes the relationship more intense and more adult - more emotional pressure etc. At that age it should be about hanging out with friends, going to the park and cinema etc etc. Not staying over at each other’s at weekends - that’s more for older teens / early 20s.

No.
I never let my DS’s girlfriend stay over because we didn’t feel comfortable with it. Also, if you let one stay you’ve then got to let the next stay, and then the next etc. I didn’t want ‘strangers’ in our house.
Her parents let him stay there though, but this is when he was at college.

No is a complete sentence (as MN has taught me).