Ex won't pay big ticket items . Do I just give up ?

[moonfaces]

Rather than drag myself and my kids through hassle of courts and expense ?
He wont pay eg education fees/ Christmas presents and any extra expenses we agreed we would halve outside of basic maintenance weekly sum.
He currently pays £40 per week per child for all expenses and he sees them eow with a twice weekly walk . He gives them four meals over the course of eow, does not do activities nor does he provide so much as a tooth brush . Our children sleep in a storage room in his house and one of the children refuses point blank to go and stay with him . His maintenance in total is 20% of his net pay.
I am currently filing for divorce.
Any advice appreciated from your experience thanks .

If you are divorcing and living in Ireland, then you might want to post on the Craicnet(?) board. Most advice here will be based on the UK system.

I wouldn't engage with him too much directly but keep very detailed log of everything so that you have all you need to build a good case

Do it through the divorce settlement and don't agree until finances are in place. No reason why he should pay for things you decide. The courts will decide how much he should pay and who gets what. They will have the childrens' interests at heart.
The storeroom isn't great but what's he supposed to do if you've got the house?? Magic up a house?
He's saving to get a better home for them but in the meantime you've got the house and the kids so they have to camp at his.
He's also allowed to have a partner - as are you.

OP if you're in Ireland, the court will expect a lot more of him than in the UK.

But a) you need to take it to your solicitor and b) you need to argue to get everything you want included, included. So, in addition to child maintenance, you need to look at the cost of extras, class trips, any grinds, etc. I'd talk to your solicitor about what is 'usual' to have included, but he will be obliged to support until children are finished full time education. I think the best thing is to assume he won't do anything out of goodwill and get it in separation agreement ASAP. I'm not sure what your chances are at getting retrospective payments so I'd be focusing on the future.

When he fills in his Form E (I think) he’ll have to declare that £100 a week that he’s been saving and you’ll be entitled to some as it’s still considered family money. Keep any texts where he refers to it.

@blobblob
I expect more than a shared bedroom for a son and daughter , surrounded by ceiling high boxes and a blanket for curtains when he is earning excellent salary with benefit in kind bonus and has two cars sitting in the drive . He also does not have so
Much as a colouring pencil for the children not to mind a toothbrush for them in his house and provides the cheapest food , no activities and weekends full of bad moods and whinging about how broke he is while saving up to 100 per week. He is more than entitled to a partner and I acknowledge that but financially not to the Financial or emotional detriment of his children. This post is bout financial advice but the reality is he tried to shirk his responsibilities at every opportunity

I'm a bit confused, he's paying 20% of his income? What is standard for CSA? Is it 3 children? So £120 per week? Which is 20% of his net income, meaning after tax he's bringing in approximately £600 per week?

I was always under the impression that CSA doesn't offer more than the bare minimum so 20% isn't bad?

Sorry, pressed post too soon because the rest of my comment was going to be...

having said that, not being able to provide the bare basics while at his place such as clothing, toothbrushes etc is not okay. And if he's agreed to pay half on things like uniform etc, he should continue to do so. But that you might struggle with the court agreeing.

You mention you have a solicitor, ask them about your prospects of asking for spousal support within a financial order. If your ex can afford it and you need it you may very well get an agreed amount extra in periodical payments.

This isn't a dead certain thing like cms is, but definitely worth asking your solicitor.

I think you have to make contact with your solicitor and ask their advice. It sounds like you need someone to tell you what you are entitled to.