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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Adam Sandler's character in 50 First Date's is a creep?

17 replies

arithanaggerton · 14/06/2021 02:10

I was feeling a bit restless and randomly decided to watch 50 First Dates before. You know when you’ve had films you’ve been meaning to watch for years but just never do? This was one of mine. I’ve only heard great things about it so had high expectations.

But oh my god, the male main character is so creepy and gross! The girl loses her memory every time she goes to sleep! She’s incredibly vulnerable. She can’t consent to sex or marriage, not really. And then he gets her pregnant, presumably because he decided he wanted a baby. Grim grim grim. She already experiences great distress every morning every time she wakes up, imagine what it must have been like for her being woken up by a baby kicking or waking up and seeing a massive baby bump.

How the hell is the whole “showing her a video that explains everything when she wakes up each morning” supposed to work? As more life events occur the video is going to get ridiculously long. And what about the DC who is going to have to experience her mum not knowing who she is every morning. I don’t think the film would have worked if made these days.

OP posts:
Bells3032 · 14/06/2021 02:36

There's a lot of films that really are disturbing when uou thjnk about them

Have you read before I go to sleep. Similar premise but a thriller not a comedy.

It's so good. There's also a movie of it with Nicole kid an but it's terrible

Bumblebee413 · 14/06/2021 02:40

40 days and 40 nights. Male rape portrayed as funny and appropriate because he's a guy, so it couldn't have been rape.

TheLeadbetterLife · 14/06/2021 02:45

I’m just baffled that you’d heard great things about it - from whom? It’s a terrible film - creepy and senseless.

Adam Sandler often seems to play creepy, womanising bastards who are portrayed sympathetically - their behaviour is justified because the character was dumped once or something. He also co-writes these films.

I feel none of this reflects well on him.

arithanaggerton · 14/06/2021 02:46

That's true, there are many movies that are similar. Some haven't stood the test of time but some can't even use that as an excuse.

The plot of 50 First Dates could have been a drama about a man taking advantage of a vulnerable woman to her family's dismay. Then manipulating the family into allowing it. Marrying her despite her not being able to consent, and then deciding he wants a baby and using her body to facilitate it. So, so grim.

@Bumblebee413 I've seen so many things that portray male rape as a joke, even modern things. It's horrific.

OP posts:
BlueDaises · 14/06/2021 03:21

I'm not a fan of Sandler, and have avoided this film, in fact most of his films.

mustlovegin · 14/06/2021 06:24

The film is from 2004, a time when people knew how to take things with a pinch of salt and appreciate a bit of humour and fiction without being perpetually offended by everything and everyone

A time when Netflix with all its deep and anguishing ideological indoctrination did not exist

A time when films and advertising rarely carried a 'message'

Are you very young OP?

WhySoSensitive · 14/06/2021 06:28

@mustlovegin

The film is from 2004, a time when people knew how to take things with a pinch of salt and appreciate a bit of humour and fiction without being perpetually offended by everything and everyone

A time when Netflix with all its deep and anguishing ideological indoctrination did not exist

A time when films and advertising rarely carried a 'message'

Are you very young OP?

This! Just like when friends aired - a lot of behaviour was acceptable back then but would be challenged now. So so so many films have not aged well. And most are unrealistic anyways.
bigbaggyeyes · 14/06/2021 06:31

A lot of stories, loved for years, would now be seen as unacceptable. You only have to read half of the Grimm Fairy Tales.

WhereTheWildlingsLive · 14/06/2021 06:36

I know what you mean op but i actually really liked 50 first dates!
😂 Have even seen it a couple of times now... Although I detest Adam Sandler normally as I do find him horribly sexist (& he seems to find an excuse to use the awfully term 'rockin' body' about the female lead at any opportunity 🤮)

KatherineOfGaunt · 14/06/2021 07:11

But the point is, she apparently starts to remember him from day to day - he shows up in her paintings. So she doesn't have zero recollection of him each day, there's a hint of memory returning.

I'm not saying the film hasn't aged badly and it's another excuse for Sandler to take his buddies on holiday somewhere hot, but just that there's more to it than her having no memory of him.

GravityFalls · 14/06/2021 07:14

A tonne of people in 2004 thought this film was creepy and unfunny - I remember clearly! It wasn’t the dark ages…

An0n0n0n · 14/06/2021 07:39

So do you think she shouldnt have love and a relationship? If i remember rightly isnt she a fully competent adult beyond an albeit serious disability? So when she makes a decision each day she is mentally able to make it? Yes she could be open to exploitation but the message is clearly supposed to be that they love eachother.

RUTheShitploppeeOrShitplopper · 14/06/2021 09:54

It's a film, make-believe so I don't take it seriously. Their angle wasn't to paint him as creepy but to show that LOVE OVERCOMES ALL. Cheesy but worked for people then. Adam Sandler isn't exactly who you'd go to see if you want to critique a film - they're all fun rubbish. Not something to get worked up about.

There are lots of films and songs that are creepy. I'd focus on real life and current real influence.

SoupDragon · 14/06/2021 09:57

Why can't she consent to sex?

stackemhigh · 14/06/2021 10:04

YANBU, I didn’t mind the film years ago as I was young and it was set in beautiful Hawaii etc etc but it was on the TV a few nights ago and it took just one look at Adam leering at Drew to make me change channels.

Roystonv · 14/06/2021 10:05

Don't like AS and found some of the film shows his usual sick humour but I do think his character is redeemed by her disability and that she shows he is important to her by the paintings. She awakens to a new life every day where people love her which her brain finds 'acceptable'. But as we say it's a film and not real and was a long time ago. We can't view the past and judge it through modern eyes just appreciate the changes for the better.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 14/06/2021 10:08

@mustlovegin

The film is from 2004, a time when people knew how to take things with a pinch of salt and appreciate a bit of humour and fiction without being perpetually offended by everything and everyone

A time when Netflix with all its deep and anguishing ideological indoctrination did not exist

A time when films and advertising rarely carried a 'message'

Are you very young OP?

Yessss.
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