To ask where I can start a thread about alcoholic siblings?

[Bryonyshcmyony]

As I could do with some advice/support but have no idea where to post it?

I have no idea where you would start a thread like that, OP, but I didn’t want to read and run.

My brother is an alcoholic, and you have my utmost empathy. It’s very, very hard to deal with.

Thanks. I just assumed there would be somewhere. Maybe naively.

There is this board: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support

No idea if thats the 'right' place, btw!

Bumping

Hi Op. I also have an alcoholic brother who has just been through a crisis point and currently seems to be in recovery after accessing the right MH services . During the worst of his illness it was pure hell.

Thank you. My sibling doesn't seem to be able to access any support although she's in huge crisis. Don't know enough to help

And yes it is hell. I am genuinely worried that she's going to die.

I'm so sorry to hear that.
That board is about mutual support I think, rather than eg signposting to rehab facilities.

Ps I'm not suggesting you move the thread. I just knew I'd seen a board /topic.

Does your sibling want to stop drinking? Because if she does, there is support out there and online. She just has to take that first step of accessing it.

If it's rehab she's thinking of, Google is her friend. There's very little inpatient rehab available on the NHS these days though, it's pretty much all private.

Ultimately you can't rescue her, only she can do that. Please do access some support for yourself so that you can find that balance where you are supporting her, but not enabling her.

She had no money for private rehab. She says she has cirrhosis but the gp has said she mustn't give up completely or she'll have a seizure. Currently drinking half a bottle of vodka and 2 bottles of wine a day. I'm devastated and clueless

The problem for relatives with alcohol services is that they won’t engage for alcohol support without patient consent. Obviously a big part of the illness is that the patient doesn’t know/understand how ill they are, plus they are likely to have other mental health problems on top. We were pushed from pillar to post for about 3 weeks before getting help from gp. All I can advise op is that you go down the physical well-being route with the gp because they have a duty of care. So for example with my sibling they hadn’t eaten for 3 weeks, were having withdrawal seizures which are life threatening (despite having been dismissed from local mental health unit because they wouldn’t consent to emergency treatment). The gp will be able to decide if they have capacity and then order an ambulance and police escort if needed to get them into hospital. From there they will safely sober them up but only until they can consent otherwise. If they want to be discharged at that point the hospital will do it. They should give a mental health assessment before discharge however and that may get through to them that there is help available. We were very lucky that it worked for my db and he was then diagnosed and medicated for his mental health condition. It’s a circle of hell if you can’t get that engagement and it may take many tries. It’s basically watching someone trying to commit suicide slowly, painfully, and you can’t be sure if they mean to die or not, so you feel you have to keep fighting for them. I don’t say that flippantly. I’ve had a close relative commit suicide so I was well aware of the consequences of that.

Yes that's exactly what it feels like. She promises me she's been truthful with the gp and they've said ring spectrum (?) and she can't get through and given up.
I live hundreds of miles away

She weighs nothing. She's pretty much already dead. Can't believe the NHS won't help!

She says she has cirrhosis but the gp has said she mustn't give up completely or she'll have a seizure.
This is correct. Does she want to stop? I believe there is a wait for nhs rehab (in our area it was about 6 weeks but the difficulty is you don’t know when the patient will get to that place as when they sober up they say they will do it but that changes the moment they have had a drink) but also you can get some funded places at private facilities. What has the gp actually advised about her cutting down?

She says her gp has said she needs to keep a diary of her drinking before they can talk to her about cutting down
She thinks this is pointless and stupid and won't do it.

@Ivedoneit21

She says she has cirrhosis but the gp has said she mustn't give up completely or she'll have a seizure. This is correct. Does she want to stop? I believe there is a wait for nhs rehab (in our area it was about 6 weeks but the difficulty is you don’t know when the patient will get to that place as when they sober up they say they will do it but that changes the moment they have had a drink) but also you can get some funded places at private facilities. What has the gp actually advised about her cutting down?

She's says she's desperately wants to stop but doesn't know how. Can't afford private. Says th gp hasn't given any advice.

The fact that she’s talking to you about this shows she’s go the intention to stop? Any idea how long she’s been drinking to this level? If she is willing I would encourage booking into nhs rehab services but I believe you could request the gp do an assessment if you are next of kin. However to enforce hospitalisation their life has to be in immediate danger. It’s like being stuck between a rock and a hard place op and you have my sympathy.

She says no gp has suggested rehab. They've all asked her to cut down, which she can't do. I'm terrified I am going to lose her.

Have either of you spoken to AA or the sister org Al Anon who help families?

If she is willing then the best bet is get on the waiting list for NHS rehab. She should Contact her local drug and alcohols service (assume that would be spectrum) and it wouldn’t hurt to make contact with local mental health services as well. The most you can do from afar is a gentle nudge and a listening ear. Sorry op it’s so so shit.

My sibling is an alcoholic but he eventually went to rehab because it was either that or go to prison. Even then the rehab was a charity and not one on the public health service. Her gp can give her medication to prevent the seizures from withdrawal, the brand my brother used to get was librium. It sounds like her gp isn't the best here. I'm sure in a lot of trusts you can self refer to the addiction services.

OK she's going to try to get through to spectrum. She says she's left a few messages but no reply

She will likely need rehab to detox safely. That is organised through a local drug and alcohol service but it’s often run separately to other nhs services. It sounds like this spectrum place does that (Hatfield area?). It says they can offer detox. The good news is you are past the hardest step if she agrees that she needs and wants to stop. All it takes now is direction to the right service and moral support. That’s literally all you can do.