AIBU to think this is a lot to keep up with?

[Toomuchspinning]

I’ve always had a tendency to fixate on things, but over the past few months, I just cannot get a grip of myself.

I don’t know if there’s something wrong with me or if it’s normal to feel like this with a lot going on?

My chest is tight, my breathing is fast and shallow, I feel light headed and sick. It’s panic.

It’s because I’ve just found a lump on my dog. But there’s so much going on I can’t keep up.

At the moment we are having major building work. I’m worried about the mess, I’m panicking about the cost, I am a real money worrier.

We had a water leak in our underground pipes last week. It’s fixed now, but I haven’t had the bill so I can’t ask the insurance if they will cover it and I don’t know how much it will be so that’s looming.

My other dog has also been diagnosed with a mammary tumour last week. She’s booked in for £1200 of surgery, too old to be insured, and I’m so worried for her as she is the last one my mum and I owned together before mum died. Mum died 7 years ago.

My husband is working nights so all the rest is on me. We have three horses and I’m worried about them in the heat as they are all old now.

My job is very stressful and high profile and I’ve finally got the chance to go for a promotion which I’m desperate for but having imposter syndrome about. We are still working from home and I’m lonely. It was a hideous week last week as the team i lead were very stressed with some shock departures.

I haven’t seen my dad since September 2019 because he lives overseas- Covid.
I have seen my sister once since then because of Covid.

I volunteer and am on two club committees. We have a big event in two weeks and it’s going to be more complicated and restricted because of Covid if the 21st date is delayed. Even the thought of all the cooking I need to do for it, when my kitchen is still two inches in brick dust, makes me need to put my head between my knees.
The other committee is having some really nasty stuff with other committee members, which means we have had to go to the governing body to raise official complaints. I’m one of the signatories raising the complaint.

So, Is it normal to feel out of control? I want to sleep until it’s all over. I can’t manage anymore.

Am I making a mountain out of a molehill as my family thinks, and just need to get over myself and calm down, or would this make you feel completely overwhelmed?

I think this past year has affected people on different ways.
I think that we are all suffering from slight PTSD on a way.
For a long while what we did was dictated by the government - where we could go, what we could do, if we went to work/school, etc etc that now things are opening it it’s overwhelming having to make decisions again and having choices!!
For a good few months lots of people were just at home with family and not seeing anyone else. It’s easy to get used to that way of loving so coming back out into the real world with more people and things is overwhelming.

Thanks. I think that’s a really good point. I’ve always been quite a busy person, but so little happened for so long, and now everything is coming at once and I feel sick.

I would find all that stuff too much to cope with. I don't mind being busy but I do mind it when there are multiple things going on that are disruptive or that I can't control or have proper oversight of. If you have a high-profile job on top of all that.... Ugh.

We’ve gone from lockdown and nothing to a LOT happening. It is a lot. I’m sure someone will come along and say they do more than this but yawn.

Is there ANYTHING you can do to lessen the load? Takeaways, Cook meals?

Lists. Lists everywhere.

Good luck.

That is a lot. Can you step away from the clubs for a while? I realise the timing isn’t great but your sanity is important too.
Building dust can tip anyone over the edge!
Do you have time for a 5 minute money debrief with DH every day, just so it’s not all in your head? I know nothing might change day-to-day, but it helps me to know my worries are also on someone else’s radar.

It is tough but all I can say is take it one day at a time and you can only do what you can do.

We moved house this year, I got a promotion (that like you I was desperate for but also suffering form imposter syndrome), several deaths in the extended family, DH had a serious accident 2 weeks ago that resulted in several days in hospital and he still can’t drive, guinea pig died and I pranged the car all on the same day, we have scout camp this weekend so I had to organise and shop and cook for nearly 100 people. The DS1 has to self isolate because someone at school has covid which complicated things Something I had committed to a while ago but with everything going on I really couldn’t be be bothered but actually it was really good to get out and about.

I don’t know if you/we are being unreasonable but I would definitely feel overwhelmed by everything you’ve listed!