AIBU to think he should have talked to me before applying for a job

[Ermintrude77]

My DH applied for a job at the end of 2020 to which he was appointed and started earlier this year.
I work part time, most weekends in order to be around for our kids during the week and fit around my husbands schedule.
We had once or twice discussed it might be nicer if he worked closer to home as his previous job was around a 30 minute drive away. The new job is closer, walkable, on paper less hours though in fact has turned out extremely stressful, far more hours than the previous job, all for less money.
We can still manage fine but the decrease in pay has not come with a better work life balance, in fact it’s worse.

My issue is that my DH applied for this job with no discussion with me, he maintains we had generally discussed it together so I should not mind he applied for it without any discussion.
We both work in a similar field so we end up talking about work a lot. I just feel sidelined as I feel I don’t make major decisions without talking to him and am not sure if I am just being sensitive? The issue here isn’t to me that the job isn’t what he hoped but that I wasn’t included in his decision making.
Thanks for your perspectives.

I would discuss a job move with my DH but ultimately the decision would be mine only.

Would you have been able to spot the issues if he had included you in the process? Is that's what's frustrating?

YAH I and if this was the other way round your DH would be getting called controlling and all the usual

We discuss job moves, talk them through pros and cons. Decision is always our own but decisions have been swayed from talking about them and how would affect our family dynamics

*YABU

Half an hour journey to work wasnt exactly bad anyway. Going for a job which pays less and is more stressful just to reduce an already decent commute doesnt make sense at all. Yanbu to be upset he didnt communicate with you first.

That sounds very strange. His work yes but affects you as a family. Plus less money? I would be livid if my dh didn't bother to talk to me.

But you did discuss about getting a new job with fewer hours and closer to home, is that right? You just didn't discuss this one in particular, which on paper looked good. Would you have been able to predict the stress /long hours?