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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being controlling?

6 replies

Actupfishy · 12/06/2021 19:59

I need some perspective and insight, feeling premenstrual and have a 4 month old so could explain why I may be irrationally annoyed by this.

I’m finding mat leave pretty tough, I moved far from family and friends and finding it all a bit lonely, partner works A LOT and has been feeling poorly for the last few weeks, he has a long term condition that flares up and down (nothing life threatening but it does get him down, think along the lines of tinnitus).

I have noticed that the flare ups always seem to follow periods of anxiety and or binge drinking sessions (around once a month). This week I’ve not expected him to do a tho g, run around after him today, took baby off his hands and cleaned the house before I left for the day as he was entertaining a friend. I get home and he gets a call and is invited to the pub and shoots out the door - just got a call to say he’ll be out most the night?

Am I being unreasonable to be cross with this? I feel mugged off with all the tea and sympathy he has accepted when I too am run ragged and still recovering (c section followed by surgery) and I just know that tomorrow will be a wash out and he’ll lay on the sofa all day. Also, I can’t help but be a bit jealous of the spontaneity of it all and that I can never just up and out on a whim.
Thanks for reading that mammoth post!

OP posts:
Lollypop701 · 12/06/2021 21:15

So.. your the default parent. He doesn’t have to consider you or your requirements. I get he’s been ill so it’s nice to chill, but you’ve caught him some slack. Sorry but it’s selfish

Pippa12 · 12/06/2021 21:49

Id be furious if he’d been too ‘ill’ to help all week then went out on a all dayer.

Blinketyblink · 12/06/2021 22:03

Yes - I do think you are being mugged off. I would be most put out by this kind of behaviour.

Talk to him about it.

BiggerBetterHealthier · 12/06/2021 22:08

Too ill to be a husband or father but well enough to be a pisshead with his mates?

Really really not ok.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 12/06/2021 22:19

Fuck that. I would be telling him not to come back and looking into ways to move back to my family and friends.
He need you to run around after him all day because he's ill, but not too ill to get pissed?! Nope, I wouldn't be putting g up with that.

WhereYouLeftIt · 12/06/2021 22:50

@BiggerBetterHealthier

Too ill to be a husband or father but well enough to be a pisshead with his mates?

Really really not ok.

This.

Plus " I moved far from family and friends"- why?

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