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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if I should take this up with my son's school

36 replies

southerngirl10 · 12/06/2021 14:20

My 11 DS is having very recent problems with another boy at school. My DS has a very good disciplinary record at school, the other boy not so good. The other boy went to his parents and told them my DS has been picking on him and his friends, while I've heard the contrary view from other boys who are my DS's friends.

The other boy's parents have got involved and I've received threatening texts asking me what I'm going to do about my DS's behaviour. There was a slight altercation at school - the other boy put his face into my DS's when he was crying and called him a wimp. My DS kicked the other boy softly to which the other replied, "Is that all you've got?" I've since told my my son not to lash out no matter how softly.

The latest text from the boy's father states that if my DS looks at his son, he will come around and find him, along with me.

I'm now afraid to let my DS go to the local park, as this parent can be intimidating and protective of his son.

Any suggestions appreciated.

OP posts:
DancesWithTortoises · 12/06/2021 14:23

If you still have the text contact the police. He can't threaten you.

MissAmandaLa1kes · 12/06/2021 14:24

Yes police. An adult threatening you and your son, a child. Tell the school and advise them of the crime number. Block the other phone number.

StopPokingTheRoyalTitDear · 12/06/2021 14:28

Definitely let the school know but as others have said, contact the police. This grown man can’t go around threatening people, including a child. Completely disproportionate and uncalled for.

Brefugee · 12/06/2021 14:29

screenshot the texts. go to the police. Block them

Zari29 · 12/06/2021 14:32

I would definitely get the police involved. He is threatening your child.

bert3400 · 12/06/2021 14:34

Definitely police and school. You can see where the son gets his standards from re behaviour. I feel so sorry for your son ...this is a very unpleasant situation but you have the proof from the messages. Has your son been sent any messages from the other child ?

ConsuelaHammock · 12/06/2021 14:34

Contact the police.

FelicityPike · 12/06/2021 14:34

I agree, phone the police.

itsgettingwierd · 12/06/2021 14:43

Agree police.

Also do involve the school. Ime although schools aren't always great at stopping bullying they are usually very aware if they culprits and victims (eg who is actually on which side).

Also text the dad clearly and tell him to stop contacting you with threats and to stop harassing you.

couchparsnip · 12/06/2021 14:48

That's awful. The father sounds like a bully and he's passing it on to his son.
Another vote for the police and definitely let the school know.

Rosebel · 12/06/2021 14:51

I wouldn't text the dad as it will probably just make things worse. Don't engage with him, just call the police.

Geamhradh · 12/06/2021 14:59

Do not speak to the parents.
First thing on Monday, speak to the school.
Was there no intervention from the school following the episode where your son kicked the other boy?

dementedpixie · 12/06/2021 15:01

Dont engage with them and contact the school and police is necessary

dementedpixie · 12/06/2021 15:01

How did they get your phone number?

PracticingPerson · 12/06/2021 15:03

Go to school and police. Threats of violence are not ok!

InnaBun · 12/06/2021 15:03

School and police

Halo1234 · 12/06/2021 15:05

Thats awful. Agree dont deal with it on your own. Police and school.

LadyDanburysCane · 12/06/2021 15:05

Definitely a police matter! The police AND the school should see those texts.

MintyMabel · 12/06/2021 15:10

There was a slight altercation at school - the other boy put his face into my DS's when he was crying and called him a wimp. My DS kicked the other boy softly to which the other replied, "Is that all you've got?" I've since told my my son not to lash out no matter how softly.

Did you see this happen?

How did they get your phone number?

Good question.

Hankunamatata · 12/06/2021 15:12

Police

surreygirl1987 · 12/06/2021 15:13

Police, yes. And keep the school informed of every tiny detail.

However, I'm also curious how they got your phone number. And also curious how a boy can 'kick softly' - really? I do feel that undermines your son's story a little and I also, like PP, wonder if you were there to actually witness this.

User52739 · 12/06/2021 15:14

School and police.

duckegg1 · 12/06/2021 15:15

Police and school.

LolaSmiles · 12/06/2021 15:21

It's rare in my experience for a retaliation kick to be soft, so I'd be open minded to the possibility that there's more going on than you've been told from your DC.

The dad threatening you isn't a school issue so that needs to be police if you want something logging or following up.

Regarding the boys, I would speak to the Head of Year, explain there's ongoing issues between your child and another child, that your son has told you the other student is bullying him and that your son has already told you he retaliated. Ask the Head of Year to investigate and if appropriate for staff to keep the two students apart during lessons.

Geamhradh · 12/06/2021 15:34

Yes, I'd agree with Lola.
I think you need to be prepared for the situation to be not quite as clear cut as your son has led you to believe.

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