What do single parents do on weekends?

[Coconutwhirl]

I know this sounds like a really stupid question, but I’ve recently become a single parent and throughout the week I manage to keep myself busy but on the weekends I feel a bit lost at what to do without xpartner here.
I don’t have many friends and the ones that I do have seem to be busy with their partners. I don’t want to bombard my Dparents every weekend just because I feel a little lonely.
So the question is AIBU to wonder whether all single parents feel a little lost and lonely at weekends? What routines do you have? Any advice?

Most weekends I have DS as ex husband works 3 out of 4 weekends, so he has DS midweek instead. We go to the cinema, bowling, museums, day trips out, out for meals, weekends away. DS has swimming and horse riding on Sundays.

On the weekends that DS is with his dad I chill out, go to a cafe for coffee, get my nails done, wander round the shops, watch telly, go out with friends. Luckily most of my friends are single and up for going out.

Sometimes it's nice to have that "you" time.

I'm looking for ideas to as I'm also newly single. I saw family last weekend and I'm painting my living room this weekend but obviously I can't do that every weekend. Last night I watched 3 movies, had a glass of wine and chocolate which felt like a luxury but I couldn't do that every day either. I think I need to find a hobby to get out of the house.

I’m not a single parent but dh works at weekends and I don’t have family here. I bring kids to activities, food shopping, library, arrange to meet their friends and parents at the park/beach, have play dates.

Sorry do you mean the weekends you don’t have your children with you?

Make friends with other single parents and do things with them, have days out with the kids all together or just go out as a family.

Often weekends were just me being a taxi service between activities and birthday parties.

Now dd is older and going out by herself, I have more time to myself so I meet friends for coffee or lunch. Mostly though I'm knackered after a full on week at work so I catch up with housework, read, see family etc. I suppose not much different than if I was in a couple???

I worked a second job because I had childcare when she was little, now I work on a rota and if I'm off it's usually catching up on sleep, housework or anything else that's gone sideways as I've worked through the week.

Hair and beauty appointments
Walking around the shops at my own pace
READING A BOOK WITH NO FUCKING INTERRUPTIONS

@Anoisagusaris sorry should have explained that! Both really, exp has DC 1 day at the weekend. I feel totally lost both days haha. I guess just because it’s all new to me

Have you thought about posting on a local neighbourhood site see if anyone wants to meet up weekends with kids similar ages. I actually met a good friend through this. She posted and I responded. I was not a single parent but husband worked lots weekends and friend's kids were alot older. We used to go ball places, parks etc and round each other houses. If you go on something like nextdoor.com you dont have to put your full name or road etc. If you met somewhere central thet would be ok too to start with.

@Belledan1 thank you, will give this a go

Gingerbread also have local activities.

Try FROLO for local meetups etc.

@Iseeyoulookingatme yes, I definitely want a hobby. Would meet new people and get me out so it’s a win win.

www.frolo.com

Do you mean when the kids are with your ex? Mine don't go as they're too young but I would clean the house, plan and set up activities for the kids for the following week, get hair / beauty appointments out of the way, lunch or dinners with friends and see my parents and grandparents. I've usually got a project on the go that I'm always trying to fit in, like making decorations for an upcoming birthday, and there's always something in the house that wants reorganising. Sounds lovely tbh I'm slightly jealous, although in reality I'd probably just cry for the kids.

Instead, I will be spending this weekend at dance lessons, swimming lessons, facilitating a visit between H and the baby, maybe museum in the morning though I may wait til next week, and DD12 has invited 3 girls to sleep over tonight so cooking piles of pizzas and trying to stop them keeping the little ones up.

Gardening :-)

Routine? What’s that. Just do what I want, it’s great!

@FuckMyLife2021

🤣

It's the start of the process of rediscovering 'you' as an individual. On your alone day maybe focus on things you enjoyed doing before children and partner came along. On the day you have your child then find things to do that you can enjoy together without your ex partners influence that would have been there before.

It is a long process to feel comfortable alone after having had another adults company but you'll get there and enjoy it in time.

Single parent of 3, ex never does a weekend so other than the holidays when he has them they are with me.

I generally have one day of them playing while I tidy/clean/wash as I work full time so house a state generally! Then in the evening we do something like a games night or takeaway and film. We also generally get outside a bit but are lucky we are in the country and have a pony, so we ride, or go for nice hot chocolate at the local cafe or ride bikes.

Other day we need to be out so anything from shopping for something specific, or go to a NT property, or some woodland or look to book and camp somewhere with some live music.

Often I’ll make sure there are “people”, so book for a friend to come and play, or to meet them for a day put, or organise for them to be here with their parents so we drink wine and have a BBQ while the kids party. Don’t need to wait for an occasion to have a party 😃

I have my child every weekend as her lovely father will not see her

She is still quite young so at the moment we do lots of music, swimming, parkrun etc. Sometimes meet other parents for playdates but I have found this is a bit variable as most want their weekends to be family time. I sometimes get a couple of hours if there is a children's party.

I think in a couple of years I will have a bit more freedom as I will not be wanted to watch things so much.

Dating apps are great

Chatting to people and arranging coffee or a beer is fun and doesn't need to be more than that unless you want it to be. Always pay your own way and have guilt free fun

Hi @Coconutwhirl ! I think it’s pretty normal
To feel a bit lost at first, I certainly did but you will find your routine after a while.

When I have the kids we just do the same as we ever did - chores, shopping, walk the dog, trips out, visit the one friend I have lol

When I didn’t have the kids I felt very lost and actually found it quite hard to start doing all the ‘me’ things people have suggested because I was so out of practice but after a few months I found I was filling my day doing whatever I wanted, which sometimes was nothing more than sitting in the garden with a book in peace :)

People have made lots of good suggestions about how to expand your social circle, but for me the loneliness was just a phase of the seperation process which did get better as I adjusted to the new normal over time

I do all my boring stuff - studying, cleaning, washing, mopping when she isn't here.

That way, when she is we can just have fun.