To just get father's day present from our DC?

[FathersDayToDoOrNot]

First father's Day with our joint DC and I have bought a little present from DC to DH along with a card. I specifically didn't choose a 'first father's day' card because obviously it isn't his first but it does say our first Father's Day together.

Usually DSC make him a card but I've never gotten involved in it or bought presents for them to give DH. His ex used to but hasn't for a while.

AIBU not to get other presents for DSC to give DH?

Present from our DC includes a picture of DH and DC so obviously not from all.

Can you imagine how that will make your DSC feel? like they could also get a photo of them and their dad organised if they wanted to

I would get something from your DSC. I don’t like it when my DH gets stuff from our DC but doesn’t include my older children from my first marriage. I include all children on Father’s Day because ex doesn’t bother.

To me it’s about celebrating him as a father, and I admire him as a father to all of his children, not just the ones I gave birth to. For those whinnying about “expectations”. It’s once a year, for the man you love, to do with his beloved children.

I think it’s a little mean spirited. I’d personally get a gift from all of his children rather than excluding the ones you didn’t give birth to. He isn’t just a Dad to your children, his other children deserve some recognition and it sounds as though they’re too young to have their own money to buy something for him.

THEY ALREADY ALWAYS MAKE THEIR OWN CARDS FOR HIM.

Are all of you who keep missing that suggesting OP implies their existing way of thanking their dad isn’t enough from them and she should start buying things from them, which she’s never done before, so they realise their homemade cards are shit?

Maybe we just have a different opinion, Anne. In our house, everyone does something homemade and I buy gifts from all as well.

Yanbu it is not your job

I used to be a stepchild (around that age, with roughly the same age difference too). I would have found it really weird and uncomfortable if my stepdad chose and bought a gift “from me” for my mum.

@melodypondisasuperhero

I used to be a stepchild (around that age, with roughly the same age difference too). I would have found it really weird and uncomfortable if my stepdad chose and bought a gift “from me” for my mum.

So would you not give her anything?

Surely each child should do their own with prompting from Mum if too young…

@GhoulWithADragonTattoo

Surely each child should do their own with prompting from Mum if too young…

My DC is a baby so can't do this.

I’ve no idea why their Mum stopped buying. DH used to buy for her on mother's Day but it just fizzled out on both sides so far as I know I don't know why

So 6 of one, half a dozen of the other then? It may actually be the case that your DH stopped buying for mum so she followed suit? The children don’t sound like they’re quite old enough to have access to their own money. Personally, if I was sure mum wasn’t bothering, I’d make sure all the children had a little gift for dad. And I would make sure they had a little something to take their mum on Mother’s Day too. Kids will remember you tried your best for them when their parents couldn’t get over them selves.

like they could also get a photo of them and their dad organised if they wanted to

Sure. But neither mum nor step mum want to help. Who else should they ask?

My friend helps her step children get something for her husband, their dad. Their mum doesn’t bother but my friend does it for her husband and the kids. It doesn’t take much effort but it means a lot to him and the kids.

@blahblahblah321 Yes but at upper primary/secondary I would sort out a present myself or ask my dad for help if I really needed it. I guess if I'd had a close relationship with my stepdad maybe I would have asked him to help me get something but I definitely would have felt very odd if he'd gone and got it himself and presented it as "from me".

Are the older DC with you over the weekend? you could ask them if they want to make a cake or brownies for their dad. They might want to or might not. I certainly wouldn’t buy a present for them to give him , but a cake you can all share is different (even if you are paying for the ingredients, so illogical.)

I would give your DC the means to get their Dad a present. Either by offering them some money or to take them shopping so they can choose something.
No, it's not strictly your job, but helping them would be a kind thing to do. If they decline, that's fine too. But it's not an unreasonable blended family thing to facilitate
Kids can be forgetful about things like this, doesn't mean they don't care.

Sorry, meant to type DSC

[quote melodypondisasuperhero]@blahblahblah321 Yes but at upper primary/secondary I would sort out a present myself or ask my dad for help if I really needed it. I guess if I'd had a close relationship with my stepdad maybe I would have asked him to help me get something but I definitely would have felt very odd if he'd gone and got it himself and presented it as "from me".[/quote]
I think this is true, I think they are a bit too old for me to get a present myself and say it's "from" them. I'm not sure when I'd have opportunity to take them shopping either but perhaps online.

Just to add I didn't deliberately do this to be mean spirited as per PP. I just didn't think about it.