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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not be feeling any better about break up

2 replies

asnugglysnerd · 11/06/2021 12:10

My partner ended our 4.5yr relationship about 2 weeks ago (having been approved for fostering, her spending £1000 on furniture for the foster kids rooms and signing a lease for a new bigger family car)... the day we were matched with 2 kids she said she needed time and space, I moved back to my parents for a few days and then she phoned me and finished with me... PHONED ME?!?!

I am still devastated and I know I am not the only person to go through a break up but I don't feel happy, I can't sleep or eat... I am 31 in September and I just feel like not only have I lost the person I was going to marry (we both had engagement rings for each other but she was quite clear she wouldn't propose to me until I fixed my anxiety and how I behaved due to this) as well as the opportunity for these foster children to join our family, and also the fact we were going to be starting IVF next year :( I just feel like everything I thought was happening has now disappeared in a puff of smoke and I am now all alone, having to sell my beautiful house, no girlfriend, no kids on the horizon, no marriage to the woman I love...

PLEASE can someone offer me any words of love or kindness or advice... I'm taking prozac and working with 2 different types of therapist (one for CBT due to anxiety and another to help me deal with this situation)... I really am trying and I just feel so guilty that I wasn't able to fix the issues quickly enough or good enough to keep her wanting to be with me :(

Please say I will feel better, and I'm not too late to find someone in the future and have kids etc...

I just feel hopeless!

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 11/06/2021 12:15

I’m really sorry to hear that. 2 weeks really isn’t that long so it’s no surprise it feels so raw. I wish it would be possible to fast forward to the time it feels better. Be kind to yourself, you’ve suffered this almighty life change which blindsided you - of course you will be struggling, anyone in your shoes would be the same Flowers

I know it’s not much comfort but I’m glad she at least ended things before the children had moved in, that would be a lot harder to untangle - but it doesn’t make it any easier or less painful 💕

User52739 · 11/06/2021 12:28

I’m so sorry you’re having such a tough time. 2 weeks is a very short time - it’s still very raw. Give yourself longer to heal. It will all come good in the end Flowers

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