How to stop bedtime descending into a daily shitshow?!

[happyland16]

Single parent to a 6 year old and 2 year old.

By the time bedtime comes around, I just seem to have ZERO patience and everything escalates so quickly.

I’m burnt out from a busy working day, school runs, cooking, housework etc and they’re mirroring my grumpiness and it’s descending into chaos with the eldest especially. Youngest is bathed and in bed by 6:45pm so she’s asleep by the time eldest gets to bed (7:30pm) as they room share.

But those 45 mins with the eldest are awful and it’s reducing me to tears every night. I’m lucky that they’re generally always both asleep by 8, but how do I go about keeping calm and making the evenings less rubbish?!

Shower and teeth brush seem like a battle and where story time used to be enjoyable, eldest just gets too silly at the moment and ruins it. End up feeling like an awful mum every evening lately and the guilt for getting easily annoyed over bedtime silliness too quickly is rubbish. Help 🙁

Have you tried just explaining that you’re too tired after work for giddiness at bedtimes, and you’d like her to get her pjs on, brush her teeth without any messing and then the two of you can enjoy some cuddles and chats? I’ve always found that mine responded quite well to honest and frank explanations.

Yes @thelegohooverer I have tried that approach, and it works to an extent with my eldest as he is switched on but I think that sometimes it can almost give them more power than they should have in the situation as they’re then aware you’re almost relying on them being good to regulate your own emotions.
Bedtime was MUCH much better today after taking on board some suggestions.
We did joint bath time for a good year or so before they just started getting too silly in the bath and making things worse, so seperate baths have calmed that.
6:15 - DD2 bathed, teeth brush and story whilst DS6 watched TV
6:45 - DD bed, 15 mins of chat/play with DS
7:00 - DS quick wash, teeth brush and ‘earned’ a story for good behaviour
7:30 - DS calmly went to bed!
I’m sure it was probably just a fluke but I felt much more calm and in control after doing this thread so thank you all 😘

That’s a brilliant result.

I have a Sunset lamp thingy (it's a lumie bedbug one) and it's really good, it goes from a bright light down to a dim red glow over about 10-15 minutes and it just somehow calms kids down and sends me to sleep

Silliness usually means mine are overtired. I know this won't work for all kids but would your eldest go to bed a bit earlier?

Bed time baths are a real pain in the arse! During the winter/cooler months, I bath the kids every other day, they don't need a daily one. In the summer though, it is every day and I get them in to the bath after a snack after school because I cannot stand the bedtime fiasco/noise/threats of boarding school/delay tactics and all the other bullshit. Its now a playtime bath with toys and bedtime is teeth and face.
So much calmer!

OP I feel your pain!! The last month it’s been constant battles to get ready for bed. I have a 5 & 3 year old, the 5 year old gets over the top silly at bedtime, doesn’t listen, runs away, is disobedient. Which then makes the 3 year old start playing up and messing about as well.
I used to absolutely love the bedtime routine but now it’s hellish. After working all day, like you, I’m exhausted and run so low on patience. They settle once in bed, but it’s taking longer and longer to get them INTO bed in the first place. Then I feel awful when they’re asleep as feel the last part of the day when they have my attention has been spoiled by a grumpy Mum!
Following for an advice!

I would suggest if they can behave well getting ready for bed and teeth brushed they can sit with you to watch a short tv programme together before bed - on the condition that they get straight into bed after

Do they really need a bath / shower every day? That's creating extra work. But I can see that a predictable bedtime routine nay be helpful