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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what secondary school is REALLY like these days?

2 replies

PassMeTheWotsit · 10/06/2021 17:46

I have a vulnerable PFB DC starting secondary this year. After all of the reports coming out about sexual harassment and assaults in schools, I’m very worried.

Those with teens , what is school really like?

Is bullying rife?
Drugs?
Friendships?

AIBU to be worried?

OP posts:
HuaShan · 10/06/2021 17:55

Hopefully you and your dc have chosen a school you like.
Short answer - no, my experience was that bullying was not rife - it happened and got dealt with pretty quickly.
Drugs - yes they were around but only amongst a small minority. Again, fairly harshly dealt with
Friendships - I don't know what to say really. In DS's school Year 7 were a little separate from the main school (had their own playground). It will depend so much on what your dc is like and whether they know anyone going up to the same school.
If you are worried, why not contact the Head of Y7? For my DS (who was very quirky and very academic at a fairly ordinary school) secondary school was a pretty good experience.

FourEyesGood · 10/06/2021 18:06

I’m a secondary school teacher (at a semi-rural state school; we’re very close to a large city, but a lot of the students live in small villages and old moving towns).
The vast majority of teens are really lovely. They’re funny, helpful and really keen to learn. There are a few nasty kids in every year group, but good school leadership and pastoral staff won’t let them spoil the school experience for others.

This morning’s news report about sexual harassment in schools concerned and surprised me. I haven’t seen much evidence of sexual harassment, but I only really see what happens in my own classroom. Schools are definitely getting pretty good at educating teens about consent and respectful behaviour, but we can’t control parental influence, and it seems that a lot of boys are being brought up feeling entitled to behave however they like around girls. However, I feel that the news reports were fairly alarmist, so please don’t worry - just make sure that your DC knows that they mustn’t ever tolerate (or make!) any unwanted sexual behaviour or comments.

Drugs aren’t any more of a problem now than they were when I was at school in the 90s. There’s a zero-tolerance to drug use (and definitely selling) in all schools in the UK, as far as I’m aware. Year 9 boys like to roll up paper into pretend spliffs but most of them haven’t been anywhere near any illegal substances.

In terms of friendship: secondary schools are so much bigger than primaries, which can seem daunting, but it’s also easier for young people to find their tribe, because there’s larger pool to choose from.

Your DC will be fine. Encourage them to communicate with you (no easy feat with a teen, I know, but there are ways!) and listen to them when they talk about school.

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