To be annoyed with my friend, the sanitiser obsessive

[lemonsonatree]

She's obsessed with it, and obsessed with reminding anyone within a 5 mile radius to use it.

She was bad before covid, now just ridiculous.

The assumption that we're all gross and germ-ridden all the time is getting rather thin.

• [Title edited by MNHQ]

@ElderMillennial

Well what does she actually do / say and in what circumstances?

It's not unreasonable for her to remind you what if you are at her house or if you are all eating or something

Dropping something into a public bin apparently requires another round of sanitation.

@Covidatemyhomework

I’m torn here. Yes, it sounds like she’s a bit over the top and O can see how that is annoying. However, if it were in the instance of shared food (ie BBQ, picnic) then I would be insisting that everyone sanitise before sharing spoons etc. I wouldn’t normally, but in the middle of a pandemic, I absolutely would.

I maybe agree but not relevant to my op. Either way it's infantilising

Covid is an airborne virus and we've known this for over a year but hand/surface washing is still being prioritised when that's not how Covid is spread.

It's worth sanitising your hands to prevent other illnesses (like the flu) that could involve more coughing/ sneezing but it's not directly essential.

I'd be a lot more wary of someone using sanitiser for a bbq or anywhere with easy access to running water!

People who think that it's an acceptable replacement for soap and water are very grim.

If this is your friend who you like (I presume) and you know she has anxiety about this don't you just accept this is what she is going to be like when you see her? How much time are you spending with her? Sure it is tedious but just ignore it, make a joke of it or don't see her.

I use hand gel after surface touches. I am severely immunosuppressed so there is a reason, I also clean coke cans before putting my mouth on them and other things people with normal immunity think are mental ... are you sure there isn't a underlying reason?

Physical or mental?

*How do you know the person hadn’t washed their hands?

Because they hadn't been in the house since they arrived.

But why do they need to handle the food with their hands, anyway? That's disgusting if you are giving it to someone else.

I agree but some people don't seem to think so.

Dropping something into a public bin apparently requires another round of sanitation.

Only if you have touched the bin.

How do you know the person hadn’t washed their hands?
Because they hadn't been in the house since they arrived
If they hadn't been in the house then they hadn't been to the loo so didn't need to wash their hands again. If they had been to the loo I'd assume they had washed their hands. Either way it's a win.

@Totallyrandomname

Does she have a mental health condition linked to focus on germs or repetitive behaviour? Or is she doing it to belittle or something.

If I knew she genuinely struggled with wanting to know people/things are sanitary I’d probably let it slide. Otherwise I’d just tell her that her reminders are annoying.

No, she's just always 'ewww germs'

She told me she'd read in a magazine or something that 30% of people don't change their underwear everyday. It apparently made her feel sick. I just couldn't imagine caring about someone else's underwear except maybe my husband's!

@ElderMillennial - so it only counts if they wash their hands at your house? They might have just showered and be all fresh and clean before coming round (or at least washed their hands in their own home).

I don't know which situation we are discussing but yes, if handling others' food with your hands (and especially during the pandemic), I think it's only hygienic to wash your hands before handling the food.

Washing your hands and then driving over, possibly patting the dog, wiping your nose, playing with your hair etc doesn't count as having clean hands when you arrive.

I thought washing hands before preparing or handling food for others is a pretty standard level of hygiene. Not only just after going to the toilet though plenty of people don't do that

[quote Inastatus]@ElderMillennial - so it only counts if they wash their hands at your house? They might have just showered and be all fresh and clean before coming round (or at least washed their hands in their own home).[/quote]
What if they got public transport 🤮

I bet she's ill all the time. I have a friend like this and her children were constantly off school with sickness bugs. I guess they have no immunity as they were never allowed to come into contact with germs. They were never allowed ice creams from the ice cream van as the man in there handed them change without wearing gloves.

I understand that we all need to be more careful at the moment, but good handwashing and not touching your orifices is the best way to avoid it, not to constantly kill all germs on your body.

Allergies are also the product of too much sterilising.

@3Britnee - it’s possible I suppose. Maybe we should all start quizzing guests on arrival before spraying them from head to toe in disinfectant 🤔

I have a friend like this.
Pre-pandemic, I would make a point of always refusing her offers of hand sanitiser at every verse end.
I'm sure she felt fully vindicated by the pandemic and everyone suddenly falling into line!
She catches everything going and I am robustly healthy - we often debate whether this is why she is cleanliness and santise obsessed, or whether her avoidance of all dirt and germs has weakened her immune system...

Sounds very annoying - I'd attempt to ignore it.

Best not hang out with her if you don't like her company

@Sleepingdogs12

Best not hang out with her if you don't like her company

I do like her company but none of us are perfect are we!

I like to let of steam here so I don't tell her to shove her hand gel

[quote Inastatus]@3Britnee - it’s possible I suppose. Maybe we should all start quizzing guests on arrival before spraying them from head to toe in disinfectant 🤔[/quote]
Or just expect/ask them to wash their hands before touching your food with their bare hands 🤷‍♀️

Like any normal person.

@3Britnee - nope, not normal to ask another grown up to wash their hands!

@Inastatus Arguably not normal for adults to handle others' food without washing hands first either

SmidgenofaPigeon

Why handwipes? Are you camping?

@ElderMillennial

OK an example of the type of situation I am thinking of

Last year two friends came here with their children. Covid was about so we invited them over to have a bbq outside. At one point DH had been making the kids a ham sandwich with some nice ham I had just bought from the butchers. Quite a lot as there were a few of us and it would last us a few days.

DH was making sandwiches while I was washing up some cups. Phone rang so DH went to answer it. Before I could get over there to take his place and finish making the sandwiches, she had taken over making the sandwiches, touching all the ham. I would have expected her to wash her hands first.

I didn't say anything but because she didn't that meant I didn't want any of the ham I had bought partly for myself and I think it should be standard to wash your hands before preparing food especially if in someone else's house and touching food that is also meant for others during a pandemic.

Like I say, I don't know the situation OP is talking about, but sometimes it is others' business if someone chooses not to wash or sanitize.

Definitely agree- some people's lack of basic hygiene affects those around them.

The kind of person that goes and handles food, and other peoples food at that, without washing their hands is probably the kind of person that doesn't wash their hands properly after a poo, or at all after a wee.

So if I saw someone about to prepare me food without washing their hands first, I'd tell them they forgot to wash their hands, or I just wouldn't eat the food.