Is my anger unreasonable?

[malificent7]

I hace posted about this before. My dd does not get on with her step cousin dedpite their similar ages. Step couson ysed to ve demanding/ highly strung and threatened dd so dd isn't interested and at bearly 13 has her own friends.
My step mum ( grsndmum to step cousin) cane round with my dad yesterday and once again staryed droning in about why can't dd make more effort with dd and can i talk to dd about it. No i bloody csn't...im not forcing the issue.
I havn't told her whst her grandchild said to ddbut im fucking livid today...im not going to micromansge dds friendships.

Used to be*

You’re right. Tell her to back off.

You will have to tell the step grandmother that the step cousin will have to find her own friends. At 13 you really can't force friendships anymore

You're not unreasonable to be angry but nor does it help you much.

At the end of the day, it's none of step-mum's business, your DD can set her own boundaries (as she has) and you can too. I wonder if you have set a boundary in your head with step -mum but you haven't wanted to be explicit with her about it (perhaps anticipating a strong reaction?)

Setting and explaining boundaries is really hard. Staying calm and content in yourself while sticking to them is a whole other business!

It's exhausting. Good luck.

I woke up this morning feeling like my boundaries have been violated completely. I told my dad his dp was being hysterical and dad said he feels like he's in the midfle and getting blamed.
Trouble is the child's mum( my friend) is like it too.

Middle*

You are also right about the strong reaction...i think if I told her the truth she would throw a major wobbly.

Your DD is perfectly capable and allowed to choose her own friends. Just because some people in the family think it would be nice if the cousins got on better, that doesn't mean it's going to happen. Apart from a family connection, they don't have much in common and they're very different people.

So those that would love to see a closer bond, are just going to have to suck it up buttercup, and deal.

Silly twats.

I think you should tell her what step cousin dd did / said - preferably in writing, cooler heads and all that.

Oh yes I can imagine @malificent7. I have (had) one of them. Went from low contact to no contact (precipitated by them but gratefully received by me!)