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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To still feel dd1

48 replies

Canwe666 · 09/06/2021 23:19

Is very young at 25. I was correctf by a colleague when I said my older children 19/23 and 25 were young adults. I also have a 12 year old.

OP posts:
CaptainSpirit · 10/06/2021 15:22

Oh gosh, I'm 25 and I don't feel very young! I've been married four years, own a house and am currently pregnant with our third child.

It was my birthday in February and I remember thinking 'oh wow, I'm officially classed as mid-twenties now'. 😬

saraclara · 10/06/2021 15:55

Ha! My kids are 32 and 33 and I still think of them as pretty young, and 'young adults'! I have to remind myself sometimes that they're really not.

They're your kids. They'll always seem 'young'! I imagine there was something in the context of the conversation you were having that made the colleague remind you that they're not 'very young'.

Rillington · 10/06/2021 15:56

Not young adult at the age. I had two kids, married with a mortgage at that age.

queenatom · 10/06/2021 16:16

I mean, it's not objectively young, but I could se e how certain life circumstances could leave you feeling that way. If someone is still in full time education, living at home, relying on family for material financial support etc at 25, then it would be easy to think of them as a 'young adult' from a lifestyle/experience perspective, versus someone who is married, has kids, works full time, lives in their own home and so on. Calendrical age and maturity don't always track in parallel!

HarebrightCedarmoon · 10/06/2021 16:22

I'm 45, 25 is definitely young. Probably your "youth" has just about ended, but it's still young. I wasn't even fully qualified as a solicitor until I was 28. The youngest you could manage it is about 24/25.

DappledThings · 10/06/2021 16:22

I think of anyone up to about 27/28 as a young adult! Am always amazed by people married and having babies by then but I am obviously projecting from my own experience.

Nearly all my friends were late 20s/early 30s before doing any of those things. At 25 we were mostly just figuring things out and being in the pub a lot.

HarebrightCedarmoon · 10/06/2021 16:29

Yeah, exactly @DappledThings. Loads of my friends were still travelling around the world and certainly not settled until their 30s. I was the first one to get married, aged 28, and have kids at 29, and was the youngest by some way in ante-natal classes.

GiantToadstool · 10/06/2021 16:29

Around here most school mums had their children early 20s so would be a bit unusual to be considered "young."

Feelingbad2 · 10/06/2021 16:30

No….I had a 4 year old and a 6 year old at 25.

GiantToadstool · 10/06/2021 16:30

@HarebrightCedarmoon I was the youngest with my first in my NCT group at 29 in the posh-area I lived.

However I've moved to my current area and am very definitely an "older mum!"

MasterBeth · 10/06/2021 16:32

Of course 25 is a young adult. They’re hardly middle-aged yet!

GiantToadstool · 10/06/2021 16:33

Which is why 28/29 is an average age for first time mums - HALF are over and half are under!

Apparently 33 is the average age of mothers having their 4th child...

MasterBeth · 10/06/2021 16:33

And what’s having children got to do with it? You can be a young mum or dad.

GiantToadstool · 10/06/2021 16:35

The question was whether or not she was "very young" at 25. I wouldn't say someone with children was "very young" themselves.

Being much older of course I think they are younger than me though :D

GiantToadstool · 10/06/2021 16:36

I think we always think of our kids as young though. I remember when my mum said, "My baby is having a baby!"

TwoAndAnOnion · 10/06/2021 16:37

Context is everything; depends in what setting you are using the term 'young adult'. I've always taken it to mean 24 and under. Some use the term 'young people' .

(SIC) For example, the Ministry of Justice uses the age-band of 18-20 in its definition of young adults, the national health survey for England terms young adults as those aged 16-24, and the British Crime Survey groups young adults in the 18-25 category.

2020newbie · 10/06/2021 16:54

I’m 25 pregnant with my first baby, own my house and have my own business

DanielRicciardosSmile · 10/06/2021 17:22

I'd class young adult as 16 (year 12/college, not year 11) to 20 personally, but it's all relative I suppose.

Metallicalover · 10/06/2021 17:27

Yep at 25 if been qualified as a nurse for 4 years (seen and dealt with ALOT in that short space of time) had a mortgage for over a year and was married!
(I'm 32 now so not very long ago!)
Yes they're an adult!

MrsBongiovi · 10/06/2021 17:40

Well, I certainly wouldn’t mind being 25 again. I had a mortgage and a child at that age but I still felt young.
Weird that your colleague felt the need to correct you.

Wiltshire90 · 10/06/2021 17:46

I would also class 25 as a "young" adult. Peoples' brains don't finish developing until they're 25! This is also purely anecdotal but I've found a lot of 25 year olds are not completely self-sufficient now due to the cost of living, or if they've married young have since got divorced. I'm a big believer in "true" modern adulthood starting in the late 20s now, particularly if they've had a few years at uni. It's different for everyone.

mamamalt · 10/06/2021 17:47

Most peoples brains finish developing around the age of 25 so many people before this are still more prone to impulsiveness, 'bad decision making and so between 18-25 would still be in the young adult category I would say. Everyone matures at different rates.

BetterThanKleenex · 10/06/2021 17:54

I'm 25, been married nearly 6 years, own a house. Although those aren't always indicators of age or maturity, 25 isn't young really.

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