Nursery staff smoking

[Rosebel]

A new member of staff has started at my son's nursery. She's not his key worker but does work in his room.
I have only spoken to her twice at pick up time as I usually see his key worker. Both times the smell of cigarette smoke was really strong.
I have worked in nurseries and the staff who smoked were expected to wash their hands and face, clean their teeth and change their tops after smoking. I appreciate that won't be the case everywhere.
Today I noticed my son's clothes had a slightly smoky smell and I'm really not happy. No one in either my or my husbands family smoke and nor do we so only one place the smell has come from.
I don't want to lose this woman her job or get her in trouble but my husband is angrier about it than me and wants me to speak to the manager. He can't do it as I do all the pick ups as I finish earlier.
I understand his feelings as I do feel the same but nursery work is hard and the staff are allowed to smoke if they want to but the smell lingers.
I'm not sure if I should or should just accept that some people smoke and put up with it.
YABU don't say anything. She can smoke if she wants
YANBU have a word with the manager (or the woman herself?)

Yanbu, smoking is gross

Are you sure it's cigarette smoke? My child came home today smelling of smoke because they'd been 'cooking' over a fire. Do they forest school type activities?
Or she may have a strong perfume that isn't very nice!

Hopefully not perfume. They do forest school but not in his age group (baby room, under one).

Smoke sticks in your hair so if he’s small enough to be up on her shoulder the smell can rub off. As someone who doesn’t smoke I can smell it a mile off. You could check she is following their smoking policy but if she is not much you can do. Maybe change his clothes before you take him home?

I'd start by asking what their policy around staff smoking is and go from there. If you don't think she's adhering to the policy then you can challenge it, if the policy is too wishy washy/non-existent then challenge that

Ew I wouldn’t be happy either

YANBU. It can be very, very harmful to young children to be around smokers even if they aren't smoking in front of them. It can cause real damage to their lungs and their ears (look up glue ear). It's absolutely not acceptable for her to be smoking during the work day or in her work clothes - it needs to be raised with the nursery. Surely she's not stupid enough not to know that she's being unreasonable?!

I’m pretty laid back but I really wouldn’t be happy with this. The risks of passive smoking can’t be overstated, and he’s so young so she will be in very close contact with him when providing care. Definitely say something.

Definitely say something. That is gross, and actually quite harmful to your baby if you can physically smell smoke on his clothes, then he is breathing in 3rd hand smoke all day! I personally wouldn't be happy with my child attending a nursery with such lax basic hygiene to let this happen if I'm honest.

Third-hand smoke is not a thing.
But ask about their smoking policy for staff. Staff will have to abide by this, if she is then she is doing her job.

What Findahouse said

I understand you don’t want anyone to lose their job but it’s really not okay that your baby is being exposed in this way. Maybe mention to the manager about your concerns and the smell and ask about their policy without mentioning the individual staff member. The manager will know who to talk to and hopefully it will resolve itself. My friend is a manager at a nursery and she smokes. The rule there is no smoking even on breaks, they have to wait until the end of the day. She’ll have one at home and then change and drive to work and then in the car on the way home.

I wouldn't be happy however I think your dh could tackle it as he is the one who is jumping up and down. He can ring the manager at lunchtime or email them in the evening. I would suggest that perhaps handover is not the best time to tackle this anyway as messages might be lost, forgotten in the busy rush.

I have found that putting the emphasis on dh to tackle issues that he is passionate about but I am less so means that either they aren't done (if it was actually something trivial), or it hasn't affected my relationship with the staff or it means that the leg work and followup tasks fall to him rather than me. Try to avoid it being (in his mind) your responsibility to stop her smoking as otherwise he might keep pushing you for a resolution. I would suggest to him that it might be better addressed in a phone call/ email and that it is a useful way for him to be involved in the nursery tasks.

When you joined you would have had the opportunity to read through all their policies (including smoking) and accept them.
When I worked in a nursery there were staff that smoked and you could smell it on their clothes.
Also a staff member with a medical condition that meant she had a horrendous BO smell like fish/eggs and old sweat. It would fill a room and transferred to the children’s clothes. She worked in the baby room.

Parents complained, but there was nothing to be done. This is what happens when you hand your child to strangers to care for them. You could vote with your feet………

I would change nurseries. It’s disgusting.

I’d ask for the policy and then bring it up that the policy doesn’t seem to be adhered to. She’s more likely to get a warning rather than lose her job immediately and if she’s not actually keeping to the policy then that is fair. I’d be really annoyed if my child smelt of smoke.

I don't want to lose this woman her job or get her in trouble but my husband is angrier about it than me and wants me to speak to the manager. He can't do it as I do all the pick ups as I finish earlier

Your DH knows how to send an email.

No I wouldn’t be happy with that either.

@DeathStare

I don't want to lose this woman her job or get her in trouble but my husband is angrier about it than me and wants me to speak to the manager. He can't do it as I do all the pick ups as I finish earlier

Your DH knows how to send an email.

Or make a phone call to the manager.

@slimmingstar your comment about 'handing babies to strangers' is harsh and unnecessary. Lots of us have no option but to work, and work in essential roles that I'm sure you would miss if they weren't filled. This isn't the place.

I am also on Team 'telephones exist, perhaps your husband should use one in this situation'.

@Findahouse21 it’s not harsh - it’s factual. Unless you know all the staff prior to enrolling your child……..

@Findahouse21

Yes the comment was harsh but I'll word it differently. If you choose to use a nursery you have to accept that as employers they have to stick with employment law, they cannot dictate what their employees do on their breaks. Hospitals etc have the same issue - you see crowds of drs and nurses on the pavement smoking because it's banned on hospital premises and there's nothing management can do

You're not being unreasonable. I used to work in a nursery and I was a smoker at the time, I had one before I left for work and on my lunch break and brushed teeth, washed face, changed clothes etc. And I used to always smoke with a hood on to protect my hair from stinking. If I had gone back into the nursery stinking of smoke I would expect to have received a bollocking. I would mention it to the manager, 3rd hand smoke is just as dangerous as 2nd hand for babies

@motogogo I think that your comment is definitely valid but phrased in a way that isn't designed to invoke guilt about childcare 'choices' that often we don't have a huge amount of choice about