Neighbours smoking driving us mad!

[mag2305]

Our neighbours are renting the house next door. We live in an old terraced cottage so our garden is really close to theirs and small too so no real distance between us. It's a young mum and dad plus two little ones under 3. From about 8am to at least 8pm, they come outside to smoke pretty continuously, either together or separately. As the weather is so warm, we like to have windows open but can't because the cigarette smell is coming through all the time. If we sit outside, it's drifting over. I'm pregnant and have a young child so I feel even more aware of it. They're very young parents and I kind of feel for them as they don't appear to work, neither drives and so they're both stuck at home a lot.
But we really want to say something about the smoking but don't know if we have a right to? Or is it going to cause problems? And I do wonder, even if I said, I'm pregnant and have a toddler, could they see the problem anyway as they smoke over their own little ones outside!
Awkward!! Any thoughts?

Could you get a big fan to blow it away from where you are sitting?

@Exhausted4ever

Oh come on are all of you saying it sounds judgy and you shouldn't judge really telling me that if you knew a young, unemployed couple with kids, who smoke all day long, have a bloody annoying happy dog and shout at the kids loads you wouldn't judge them?! Cos I don't believe you. Not for a second. I judge people who smoke just to start with, let alone people who aren't working so spending a substantial amount of their benefits on cigarettes when we all know that benefits aren't exactly generous and cigarettes cost a bomb. The amount of times we were told as kids we can't afford this or that, but mother had her cigarettes of course 🙄. Op I really feel for you. But unfortunately I don't think there is anything you can do. Except move but of course that doesn't mean you won't be in a similar position in the future unfortunately

It is the OP who is pretending not to judge them, while slipping in all the irrelevant detail;

”They're very young parents and I kind of feel for them as they don't appear to work, neither drives and so they're both stuck at home a lot.”

Kind of feels for them my arse. 🙄

She’d get more respect if she was less disingenuous about it.

They sound horrendous. I'd find it hard to hide my contempt too. There'd certainly be no concern, faux or otherwise, from me.

Complaining is a road to disaster though. I no longer complain to irritating neighbours. Just suck it up and smile. Making a fuss leads to resentment inevitably. Can't be arsed with that.

@Onceuponatime1818

I hope all cities go smoke free like some are planning to 🤞🏾🤞🏾🤞🏾 It’s revolting

You do know that will make zero difference in this situation dont you?

@MWNA

They sound horrendous. I'd find it hard to hide my contempt too. There'd certainly be no concern, faux or otherwise, from me.

Complaining is a road to disaster though. I no longer complain to irritating neighbours. Just suck it up and smile. Making a fuss leads to resentment inevitably. Can't be arsed with that.

They sound horrendous because they smoke? Or because they're young parents with no job?

Just as we are having to live with Covid risks - including other people choosing not to get vaccinated/isolate/test etc, so we must accept and live with other people's freedom of choice to smoke or emit car fumes from driving etc

Just think of the good they're doing. Taking into account savings on future social care and pensions, and high tax on cigarettes, smokers are a net contributor to the tax coffers.

A million times worse than cigarette smell/smoke, is fire pits and bonfires in gardens. They stink (and it lingers much longer than cigarette smoke) and cause so much pollution.

I can empathise OP. Breathing in someone else's smoke is disgusting. We have it a tiny bit - maybe once or twice a day drifting in from neighbours. It annoys me and I have to close all the windows (drying newborn clothes etc). 8am-8pm constantly would be intolerable.

I wish there was some legal recourse for private homes (like how some local councils have banned smoking on pavements/outside restaurants/cafes illegal) but there isn't. Have you tried making the fence on that side of the garden higher, perhaps putting up some kind of screen or high bamboo?

A landlord can stop a tenant from smoking outside (if it's laid out in the lease), so might be worth speaking to the landlord. I don't see why you and your children should have to passive smoke all day if you want to go in the garden or have the windows open. There's a long hot summer ahead of us.

@Exhausted4ever yep!! Nobody ever makes any judgemental sounding comments in life and certainly not on mumsnet. It's unheard of on mumsnet. ;)

I swear some people think getting a whiff of a fag outdoors a couple of times a day is a significant health risk.

While cigarettes are legal there is nothing you can do about that. You may be able to do something with the dog barking issue and your local council noise department. Have you tried talking to them about the dog?

Your option here is to move tbh.

Flipping heck, its a bit daft when people get the hump about people smoking outdoors in their garden

Far from it. It's a horrible habit and really affects your enjoyment of your own space, you have every right to be annoyed. Sadly nothing you can do but doesn't make it ok

It was one of the deciding factors in us selling a previous house of ours. It ruined my enjoyment of the garden as I loathe smoking and I felt embarrassed when we had guests over.

neither drives

So no polluting car fumes.

It all balances out. One couple choose to smoke (helping to fund the NHS through hefty tax paid, and saving tax money by being less likely to need care home or many years of pensions). Another family chooses to drive.

Over the last year, through discussions on Covid, it's clear how much people value freedom of choice. This couple are simply exercising their freedom of choice to smoke.

@mag2305 Sympathise with you.

Can you keep your back windows closed and just have all front ones open for airflow in your house?

Do you have any fans you can use to help air flow?

Can you put up trellis with climbers - should grow quickly this time of year - Clematis or something? Deflect most of the smoke from coming into your garden and home?

Can you approach them with an apology, but could they possibly smoke a bit further away from the house (end of the garden) because you’re pregnant and don’t want to be breathing it in?

Could you have a large fan for in the garden, to keep smoke at bay while you’re outside?

How much is coming into the house. do you think? Your sense of smell may well be significantly heightened while you’re pregnant.

Am I allowed to be annoyed about this!!!???? Can't believe how many people think I'm this horrible, judgemental person. You're all perfect of course.

I'm just fed up with it but doesn't sound like there's much we can do.

They're very young parents and I kind of feel for them as they don't appear to work, neither drives and so they're both stuck at home a lot.

Of course OP. Crack on.

@Exhausted4ever

Oh come on are all of you saying it sounds judgy and you shouldn't judge really telling me that if you knew a young, unemployed couple with kids, who smoke all day long, have a bloody annoying happy dog and shout at the kids loads you wouldn't judge them?! Cos I don't believe you. Not for a second. I judge people who smoke just to start with, let alone people who aren't working so spending a substantial amount of their benefits on cigarettes when we all know that benefits aren't exactly generous and cigarettes cost a bomb. The amount of times we were told as kids we can't afford this or that, but mother had her cigarettes of course 🙄. Op I really feel for you. But unfortunately I don't think there is anything you can do. Except move but of course that doesn't mean you won't be in a similar position in the future unfortunately

No I wouldn't judge them. I know nothing of their circumstances. I do however judge people who make nasty, irrelevant comments about people's employment and housing status with mock concern and pity though.

20 fags a day each at 10min a day is 200 minutes. Double it for both of them is over 6.5 hours. That assume not on 30-40 a day hardy few seconds.

*10min a fag

@FindingMeno While there’s very little airflow and if two people are smoking fairly regularly, within a few feet, throughout the day, passive smoking is an actual risk

To be fair, not many people have said you’re being unreasonable to be annoyed, just that the faux concern was really irritating.

@mag2305

Am I allowed to be annoyed about this!!!???? Can't believe how many people think I'm this horrible, judgemental person. You're all perfect of course.

I'm just fed up with it but doesn't sound like there's much we can do.

Oh give over! No one has said it's not annoying and you can't be bothered. Your comments about their personal status in life and faux concern for them is the issue and you know that full well. Take out every single one of those comments form your OP and subsequent replies and you would have got a much kinder response.

@mag2305 AIBU is well known for its harridans. Ignore

@DoubleTweenQueen thank you. We're in such close proximity being mid terrace. A lot comes into my little boy's bedroom as it's at the back unfortunately, if I do have his window open for a bit. Fans might have to be the way forward.

And yes, definitely a heightened sense of smell which doesn't help and feeling sick. Although I think some posters will take me apart for saying that.

Thank you though.

@Lavender201

I can empathise OP. Breathing in someone else's smoke is disgusting. We have it a tiny bit - maybe once or twice a day drifting in from neighbours. It annoys me and I have to close all the windows (drying newborn clothes etc). 8am-8pm constantly would be intolerable.

I wish there was some legal recourse for private homes (like how some local councils have banned smoking on pavements/outside restaurants/cafes illegal) but there isn't. Have you tried making the fence on that side of the garden higher, perhaps putting up some kind of screen or high bamboo?

A landlord can stop a tenant from smoking outside (if it's laid out in the lease), so might be worth speaking to the landlord. I don't see why you and your children should have to passive smoke all day if you want to go in the garden or have the windows open. There's a long hot summer ahead of us.

There's a long hot summer ahead of us. Is there? Thanks for the long range forecast.

I can’t be the only one who thought DynamoKev was joking - can I?