To ask for you help - I’m not okay

[CornflowerBlueBird]

Hello.

I’m not okay. It’s all come to a head since over has a baby. I’ve had mental health issues for years and since giving birth they’ve just intensified.

I’ve been unhappy since being a teenager and I used to go out And drink and take drugs. But that didn’t help.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve realised I have destructive behaviours - I binge eat. Or I impulse spend on fashion or beauty. I keep telling myself - if I was just thinner, looked better, have better hair or skin then I’ll be happy. I do it about my career - I’ve I just had this or that, THEN I’d be happy. But that’s not right is it?

I have a wonderful husband, lovely child and I’m miserable. I have an amazing family and had a great childhood. So what’s wrong? What am I looking for? I’ve never felt so empty and lost.

I’ve been referred for counselling but I just don’t know where to start plus it could be a year before it starts. I can’t afford private counselling.

Has anyone been through this? How did you get to the root of the problem? I’m already on medication and it’s not working.

Thank you.

Bloody hell. Are you my long lost twin!!!!!! Same issues. But mine stem from being very ill growing up and it continues into adulthood. Interpersonal therapy helped me for a while- maybe something you could look into too?

@prettylittlestar what’s interpersonal therapy? I’m trying to rack my brains for what could have triggered this and I can’t think of anything. I’ve been so lucky.

Contact your local mother and baby service. They provide counselling and support for mums who are struggling for a variety of reasons.
Hope you feel better soon x

Hi again op
It's to help your relationships with people and yourself. I went through a stage of falling out with basically everyone I knew, because I was just reacting all the time to situations. It wasn't helpful for me or them including family members. The therapist was lovely and listened without judgment. If you type it in google too it should come up with some information

@CornflowerBlueBird have you ever tried practicing thankfulness /gratitude/mindfulness time. Please don't take this the wrong way but try thinking of everything you have to be thankful for before you go to sleep each night xxxx

@PumpingPauper yes done the 5 things every day. And tried meditating. It’s not that I’m ungrateful for what I have, i feel depressed and empty. I don’t know how to explain it, I don’t want people to think I’m not grateful for my family.

No I get that. I've had depression on and off for a decade. I find some spirituality helpful, I won't badger you with what I believe, you can find it yourself xxx