To not tell employers I'm pregnant before promotion

[lboogy]

I'm 18 weeks pregnant and have been working at my company for 5 years. I was due a promotion last year but it never happened due to change of manager.

I've got a new manager who is working on my promotion but I've not told him I'm pregnant as I'm worried it will impact my promotion.

Per the company rules and legal rules I don't have to tell them until I'm 15 weeks away from the date I want to start mat leave.

My dad thinks it's not fair to keep the information from my manager particularly if I'm not going to be at work to fulfil the role while on mat leave.

My view is i'm following the law and don't see why I should face the potential of a promotion being withdrawn again

What do you guys think? Morally should I tell my boss?

Definitely don’t tell them. I’ve seen and experienced too much discrimination against pregnant women, even those who were previously highly valued employees.

And you have virtually no recourse as how can you prove that it was because of the pregnancy you weren’t promoted?

It shouldn't affect your promotion so there is no need to tell them.

If you decide that it's your moral obligation to tell them then it's because you feel that they might take it into consideration when making their decision...which they shouldn't.

Sure, the law works in our favour here. But you know...take a win when you can.

@hellywelly3

Tell them because your pregnancy rights don’t come into effect until you notify them. You could just casually say “ Obviously I’m guessing this won’t prejudice my promotion” just as a little reminder that they can’t prejudice against you.

Oh I didn't know that. Could you maybe tell HR in confidence OP?

No don’t tell them!!! If they decide to promote someone else you’ll never be able to pin in on pregnancy prejudice, they’ll just fabricate another excuse. Your dad’s perspective is from the perspective of your employer and on the basis that it’s relevant and they may want to adjust their decision - which is the total opposite of what you want! Just tell them later and say you didn’t want to announce it earlier until you’d had all the scans and checks.

Definitely don’t say!

@hellywelly3

Tell them because your pregnancy rights don’t come into effect until you notify them. You could just casually say “ Obviously I’m guessing this won’t prejudice my promotion” just as a little reminder that they can’t prejudice against you.

Workplaces can and do behave in prejudiced ways against people without there being any evidence that's happening though. It's naive to think otherwise. It's very easy to give a job to someone else and say it's for legitimate reasons, they were the better candidate, interviewed better etc., they're not daft enough to say 'we gave the other person the job because you're pregnant'.

The fact that you're pregnant isn't pertinent, is it?

The only reason for telling them now would be so that they can factor it into their decision. Which is illegal.

But it can be hard for people to disconnect these things in their minds. So in fact, you're doing them a favour by not telling them, so they don't have to worry about it during their decision making process.

Technically the pregnancy should have no bearing on whether you get promoted, it should be completely irrelevant. If it is irrelevant then there is no moral obligation to tell them.

I agree that the more notice to sort maternity cover the better, but I think you’d be wise not to tell them until after the promotion is offered. Discrimination happens all the time to pregnant women and you can rarely prove it or get any justice so better to prevent the discrimination happening in the first place by not telling them!

You’re right in not telling them. I applied for a new job within my work place (lots of other going for it) knowing I was 8 weeks pregnant at the time and only told them once I’d been offered the job and signed my contract.

Pregnancy/maternity/paternity discrimination is indeed alive and well! In fact my partner was on the receiving end after notifying his intention of taking >6mo parental leave. They can cover it up easily...

Don’t tell them until you are ready to OP. If you’re managing your antenatal appointments anyway then there’s no real need.

Your dad needs to support you and not your employer!

Definitely don't tell unless you're 100% sure they'll honour the promotion even if they know. Obviously it's unlawful to discriminate on the grounds of pregnancy, but it happens all the time - it's shit.

Your dad is ignorant, do NOT listen to a mans advice when they have literally no idea about this issue.

Under no circumstances tell them.

You live and work in a world which systematically discriminates against women merely for the fact that they have the ability to get pregnant. Every time you are considered for a job, the odds are against you as you are subconsciously compared against the weight of history where men are breadwinners and women yearn to cook and have babies. When considering senior positions, both men and women subconsciously compare you against existing and historic senior employees, the vast majority of which are male and look at you and see the boards of women who work in lowly paid jobs, do a good job and seem happy to stay in them.

Do not give them another subconscious image to work against you.

The fact that your promotion has already been delayed due to someone else's career move does not show your employers in a great light as succession planning should not be held up due to one internal or external move.

You deserve this promotion and your chances of getting it before you have a baby far far far outweigh your chances of getting it after maternity leave.

I'll get flamed for this, so I'll say in advance this is how I feel if I were in this situation, not what I think other should necessarily do.
Personally? I would tell them. I wouldn't want them to make decisions about who'd be doing what role in the coming year without them knowing that I'd actually be absent for a year. I would only want the promotion based on them wanting me despite the pregnancy. And I wouldn't want to take the job over someone who'd actually be there to do it. I also think it could harm your reputation at the company in the long term if you take it and then tell them later you're so far gone, even though you have the legal right not to tell them I think it would seem a bit dishonest and make things difficult for them

No flaming from me, I completely agree.

And if the promotion mysteriously fails to happen - well the true nature of the employer has been revealed.

YANBU I went for a promotion when I was pregnant with DS2. It was a replacement role for someone who had left but they took months to advertise it, I was mostly doing the job already. My boss and one of my colleagues knew I was pregnant because I'd had complications but my senior manager and none of my other colleagues knew. I think I handed in my matb1 form about 2 weeks after I got the promotion and went on maternity leave 3 months later. DS2 is 3 now and I'm still in the same position, which I love, and I'd be kicking myself if I hadn't gone for it