Long term effects - 3rd degree tear

[Dumbo18]

Currently trying to decide if my second should be born by c section after suffering a 3rd degree tear first time around. It’s not the actual birth I’m frightened of it’s the long term effects of suffering a tear and having another natural birth. Anyone I speak to about it says they are fine but are mostly under 40 and i’m wondering more about later in life. Anyone have any experience? I don’t want to jump into a c section without giving it thought. Also don’t want to be in my 40’s with no bladder control or worse!

I had a 3dt at 29 and found the recovery terribly painful and slow. I had a c section 2 years later and it was frankly easy in comparison, even with a 2 year old to look after! I have no regrets about opting for the c section - I would not want to risk suffering like I did with my first again.

I had a 3rd degree tear and episiotomy with my eldest in 2000. I was 21. I healed well but I did experience bowel issues that I didnt realise were abnormal until I had physio about 18yrs later! So I always had to hold a pad/tissue against my perineum whilst BM.

I had my second aged 29 and I saw a consultant who said i had a less than 5% chance of tearing badly again. CS was not offered or discussed, I've only subsequently realised that people are offered this following a 3rd degree tear.

Anyway baby 2 far better labour, 2nd degree tear. No issues healing.

Baby 3 was born when i was 31. Again 2nd degree tear. No issues healing.

Over the years I've gained weight at about 37 was referred to physio for bladder weakness. It was then we realised I had a small rectocele. Pelvic floor exercises really helped so I declined seeing a surgeon.

Baby 4 was born when i was 40, second degree tear again.

Baby 5 is due saturday and planning another vaginal birth. I did mention my rectocele to the consultant this time but they said that a vaginal birth would be fine and its things like weight, carrying the weight of baby, age that effects the pelvic floor. Whether that's true i don't know.

Anyway, thats a 20yr history of my pelvic floor! If I did the exercises and was a healthy weight I would be a lot better off. Maybe not perfect but better.