To want to leave without any valid reason

[Heisbeingweird]

He is being weird. He is avoiding having sex with me, making excuses and pushing me away.

He is acting strangely with his phone, snatching it from me when I picked it up to set the heating and putting a password on it. I opened the laptop, he had left his Facebook logged in from when he last used the laptop ages ago.

There was nothing untoward on it except he has been searching for a good-looking woman who recently started running with them. I've no reason to believe they've been in touch, he just looks her up a lot. He doesn't look up anyone else. He has been organising group runs which is unusual, he normally joins when it suits him.

I think he's lost interest in me. We have a child and a house. I don't think I'd mind being on my own.

Sorry the AIBU is am I unreasonable for wanting to leave without trying to work things out?

No; you are worth so much more. Get rid and find your own happiness x

Yanbu. You can leave for any reason you want, you can leave for simply wanting to leave, you don’t even need a reason.

It sounds like very sketchy behaviour, I’d be very suspicious if dh began acting this way.

I’ve never been in the position but I’ve always thought to myself I would never stick around trying to work stuff out (especially where cheating is concerned) I’d be quite straight cut with it all. Obviously I don’t know that for sure but it’s how I think I’d be.

Sounds like you have valid reason to me. It also sounds like you've tried, but he's pushing you away, so no, not unreasonable

YANBU. What's the house situation, is it in both your names?

YANBU that's not no reason! It doesn't sound like you're happy and with very good reason.

@stackemhigh

YANBU. What's the house situation, is it in both your names?

Yes. It's not worth big money if we sold but we could probably stretch to two houses or one house and an apartment fairly close to each other.

I talked to him, said should we think about how to break up. He just kept arguing that he doesn't want to. I said I want a different type of relationship. We didn't really get anywhere. I feel blue now.

I've been through an appalling time in my personal life over the last eighteen months. Everyone tells me how much they admire me except him. He talks about how he stuck with me.

Things are slowly on the up for me. I think I can have a happier life either on my own or with someone else.

I'm sorry you have had a hard time, and very glad things are on the up. It does sound like the love has gone on both sides. And his behaviour is clearly disrespectful at best, and at worst he is (or is trying his hardest to be) a cheating bastard.

It doesn't matter if he doesn't want to split up. If you do (for any reason or none) that is enough

You don't need a reason to leave any relationship - the fact that you want to leave is enough. You certainly don't need a reason that anyone else considers valid. There isn't a test you need to pass to determine whether it's OK to leave.