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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Creepy taxi driver?

45 replies

SallyCinnabon · 08/06/2021 17:46

Sort of an AIBU but more of a ‘What would you do?’

I took a taxi home from work today. I had decided to pop in to little Tesco on the way home to get some bits, so when I called the taxi I said to the operator that it was a taxi from ‘workplace’ to that specific Tesco.

When I got in the taxi, the taxi driver said, ‘to Little Tesco?’ and so I said that was right. Anyway, after small talk where I said I was going to pick a few things up and then walk home, he said “where do you live?” so I said just the other side of little Tesco. Then he said, “where though, what street?” so I said “about 10 minutes walk away.”

Him: “No, where though. Where do you live? I can wait for you and drop you home.”
Me: Feeling a bit creeped out “It’s ok I’m happy to walk thank you, it’s a lovely day!” (fake smile) At this point I text my DP ‘in taxi’ and ping him my location on Apple maps so he can track me.

Anyway, we get to little Tesco and he parks up and I give my card as payment, it’s taking ages then he says “it’s not working love” so I say “that’s ok there’s a card machine by the entrance, I can get cash out” he huffs a bit and tries my card again and then says “I think it’s the wifi, if we drive around there I might be able to pick it up” Not sure where ‘there’ was but I feel really uneasy at this point as he’s already starting to drive again. I decided to call DP to let him know I’m on my way just going to get bits at Tesco, is there anything else he needs kind of thing (basically a call to let the driver know my DP knows where I am) then he stops and mumbled something and tried again and it worked!! I opened the car door, got out and retrieved my card through the drivers window. Then he says again “where do you live I can drop you home” and I just completely blanked him and walked (almost ran) off. Blush I looked behind and he was still parked up watching me go into Tesco.

I was so spooked I didn’t actually buy anything I went straight through and out the other side, out the back exit to the street behind and called my DP to collect me on his way home. So then I sat on this bench behind Tesco just panicking about this driver until DP pulled up.

I don’t know if I have overreacted and just spooked myself but it just didn’t feel right. I was going to complain to the taxi company but I’m a bit hesitant as if he is dodgy he knows where I work and my name. He didn’t really say or do anything wrong either but my gut feeling was telling me to get out of there and not to give him any info.

DP thinks I should report btw but I’m doubting myself now. I know it’s hard from just my story, but what would you do? Would you have felt the same?

OP posts:
StrawberryCreamCake · 08/06/2021 21:50

I think a previous poster’s idea about having your husband report it is a really good idea.

I think you should report it. Perhaps others will report in future (or have done in the past) and there will be a pattern.

I really don’t see any harm in reporting it. T could have been totally innocent on husband part but you never know. Perhaps he has a history of this creepy behavior behaviour and it’s leading up to something sinister like a rape or murder. I am sure there have been plenty of women who had creepy encounters with men who later actually committed an assault.

StrawberryCreamCake · 08/06/2021 21:55

innocent on his* part that was supposed to say

I dread to think how many rapes or murders could have been avoided by enough women reporting suspicious. There’s often an escalation in incidents

StrawberryCreamCake · 08/06/2021 21:57

The taxi company aren’t going to fire him just because one person reported some suspicious behaviour. But if they start to get a lot of complaints about the same driver then they will do one thing and rightly so in that case

PixieDust28 · 08/06/2021 22:03

My dad is a cabby and he'd even think this was weird AF.

OnTheBoardwalk · 08/06/2021 22:24

This really does disturb me and I love taxis but always trust my gut

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Worboys

legotruck · 08/06/2021 22:26

[quote OnTheBoardwalk]www.shropshirestar.com/news/crime/2018/08/11/private-hire-driver-prosecuted/[/quote]

I presume you are pointing me to this quote from the council trading standards man

"Not only is this activity illegal it will invalidate a drivers insurance putting customers at risk.”

I have worked hundreds of cases of taxi/PH insurance and have yet to see an illegal pick up have an adverse affect on a passenger. Of course the council are putting out that warning but the reality is different. Trading standards don't make the decisions on claims made to insurers.

Looubylou · 08/06/2021 22:34

I used lots of taxi's on my own, without a second thought, in my twenties. On one occasion, taxi pulled up outside my house I moved to towards curb side to get out, but paused to get my money out, in the middle of the back seat. Foot either side of the divider, but certainly not flashing. Quick as a flash the driver put his hand backwards through the gap and up my skirt. This was a large taxi firm, which I used all the time. I was so shocked I just got out as quick as I could. Years later, I really wish I had reported him, and wonder who else might have got the same treatment. His attitude (apologised) actually made me doubt myself at the time - I didn't mention it to anyone. I'm sure he would of claimed it was an accident but as someone else said, if others had already or later reported him fir similar eventually bells would ring for the company.

OnTheBoardwalk · 08/06/2021 22:34

Why would you chance it though especially with a creepy driver and the uninsured adverse issues that might occur. Report report report

legotruck · 08/06/2021 22:36

@OnTheBoardwalk

Why would you chance it though especially with a creepy driver and the uninsured adverse issues that might occur. Report report report

I actually don't disagree this should be reported and I think I reacted too quickly to suggest it was just an extra fare making thing.

musthavebeenlove · 08/06/2021 22:38

He does sound creepy and you’re right that this is creepy behavior.

I think I would complain, he kept pushing for your adress even though you clearly told him no, no woman should have to deal with this behavior as I am sure many would feel threatened by it, he’s not respecting your ‘no’. Even if he didn’t mean to be creepy, it’s a good learning opportunity for him to understand what kind of impact his behavior has on women, he clearly lacks empathy. Most men who tried to put themselves in our shoes now and then would surely understand that this is not on and women should not have to put up by being made uncomfortable just because he really wants an extra job.

SirVixofVixHall · 08/06/2021 22:40

@Kiki275

I know others might frown upon this but could your DP report it for you, so that it was less "feelings" orientated and more factual? Ie. I wanted to report some driver behaviour which concerns me. Sally called me from Little Tesco, after being collected by Taxi A from work, this afternoon as she was being continually pressurised by the driver into giving out her home address. I appreciate the driver may have been trying to be friendly but with recent events over Sarah Everard for example, Sally was unnerved and I agree with her being wary. Please can we trust you advise the driver responsible accordingly?
This is sensible. OP read “The Gift of Fear” If you felt uncomfortable and then frightened, that was for a reason. That pressing you for your address is really creepy, the refusing to accept your “no thanks” is even worse. Not normal behaviour, and definitely not what you want from a taxi driver as a lone woman.
musthavebeenlove · 08/06/2021 22:40

*made to feel uncomfortable

OnTheBoardwalk · 08/06/2021 22:48

legotruck only through many dodgy taxi rides have I felt to be this frightened and aware

In my teens there was always £20 in the drawer to get me home. Getting home safely isn’t always a given

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 09/06/2021 03:37

Report...

Plausible deniability...

Suzi888 · 09/06/2021 03:50

Hmmm not sure, inclined to report it though. His insistence that he wait and take you home could have been just to make another fare I guess, but his insistence made you uncomfortable. If you had posted as a man, I’d still say raise the issue with the cab company as you had said “no thanks, I’m walking”. That should’ve been the end of the conversation. He was too pushy.

k1233 · 09/06/2021 04:20

Raise it as feedback. His behaviour made you feel threatened and in danger, even if that was not his intention. The asking for the fare from the store to your home address was innocent enough, on the first request. It was the repeated requests then "convenient" malfunctioning of the machine, coupled with another suggestion to drive to an unknown location, that made you feel this way. Suggest that they provide their drivers with training or information on why this behaviour makes women extremely uncomfortable. Particularly with recent cases. The driver needs to accept the response and then stop asking. Note that you were so concerned with his behaviour and frightened that you had to wait for your DP to pick you up from the store. That is not acceptable.

Certainly your DP can also give his own feedback, but I think you really should send your own.

alexdgr8 · 09/06/2021 04:40

was it addison lee.
whoever, i think report it, or get your husband to, as suggested above.
and obviously use a different firm in future.

Rmka · 09/06/2021 06:09

I think you did a right thing to follow your instincts.

You can absolutely report him, just stick to the facts. You can say that he offered to wait to take you home and after you declined, he kept insisting and asking for your address. Try to be specific, e.g. he asked 5 times, and another time after you paid and left. You can say you felt harassed and unsafe. They won't necessarily fire him over this, but may give him a warning. People can give bad feedback about a taxi journey regardless of how serious the incident.

And next time you call for a taxi ask for a different driver. Nothing wrong with that.

DontGoIntoTheLongGrass · 09/06/2021 06:16

Did you book the taxi or get in one of those that park up on the street?

I ask as I know there has been some predators that are pretending to be taxis and park up close to other taxis waiting for lone women.

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