Hi there,
First time posting so sorry if I say anything inappropriately. This is quite a long post so I’m sorry for that, too.
Please tell me if I’m crazy or partner is making me crazy?
I am living with my partner (his house- he pays for mortgage). Before COVID, I got made redundant in end of 2019, I paid for food and take aways and luxury (weekend away in uk, expensive whole foods trips, nice take away every weekend etc).
With COVID, I couldn’t get a job so lived off my payment package. Then he started to pay for grocery (basic groceries, no extra nice things like chocolate or ice cream, I never asked for anything extra). Just mentioning this as I don’t want to drip feed.
In 2019, I got a little health problem, which I bled with blood clot a lot (sorry tmi, filling heavy pad and tampon every hour on average) and cant get procedure done as Covid. We were actively trying for a baby so I was really mentally and physically exhausted, upset, hormones all over the place. I tried to tell him my feeling even to the point showing the blood clot to demonstrate it really affected me. He looked at it, pulled the face in disgust and told me “you’ll be alright”?!
There’s a few little things he’s done and said to me but it will be too long a post and it looks like I am listing his bad behaviour in my view.
So fast forward to now, I just gave birth to a premature baby two weeks ago. She’s in hospital and I go in to be with her everyday except for today.
Today I have a huge argument with him regarding breast pump. So I have to express milk and have been using the hospital loan one. They want it back now so I ask if he could buy one. I mentioned the hired one too but at £40 (with discount) I think it would be better to buy one (around £145) as I can use it at hospital too or if we go to see his parents. He was ok wirh it.
The next day he changed his mind saying it too expensive and want to look at the cheaper one or hiring one. I said ok up to you and it’s your money so yeah. I said I don’t want to look at it anymore because I have look for the past week and a bit fed up because breast pump and expressing, washing stuff every two hours and sitting in hospital draining me.
He said I’m stuck up and just think he made of money. He only asked to look online for himself to see. He also the proceeded to say I do f all around the house (I cook,
clean, and hoovered, I cleaned also his bathroom which I don’t use). He does the same but never touched my shower room.
So I said to him that he made me so unhappy I don’t want to live with him anymore and I’m moving out. And I made him taking the milk in for our baby whilst I’m at home packing my stuff to move out. He then said if I say sorry he will drive me in otherwise I’m a danger to everyone around me?!- Am I? (Anyway I refused to say sorry)
He then messaged me about I only care about me, and i only want to satisfy my feeling and ego and don’t want to see our baby. He said “be a parent and go to see your daughter” (as if I sit around the house watching telly)
I’m very upset and confused. He knows I love our baby but he makes out I’m a bad mother.