Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To waste this beautiful day because I'm feeling really down?

27 replies

troobleflooble · 07/06/2021 15:07

Bit of a rhetorical question and I know I ABU really so just looking for people to give me a bit of a kick up the arse really.

I'm off work, it's warm and sunny and I live in a beautiful part of the country about 20 minutes from some lovely beaches. I have to do some bits in the garden, I have flowers to plant and it's a good day for it. I wanted to do the garden and then go to the beach for a swim and a sunbathe, maybe even watch the sunset.

And yet I am so so miserable today. I just can't drag myself out of bed! I'm staring out at the blue sky desperately wanting to go out and enjoy it and I just can't make myself do it. I'm tired, despite getting a good night's sleep. I have a headache despite taking painkillers. Above all I want someone to talk to and go to the beach with any everyone I know is busy at work. I want to go out anyway but I just can't muster the energy.

Please tell me I'm being ridiculous and if I force myself to go out I'll end up feeling so much better!

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 07/06/2021 15:10

I don't live by the sea but we went to the coast last week for a holiday.

If I lived by the sea, I'd be there as much as I could, it makes everything feel better.

Get thee to the beach!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/06/2021 15:12

I know how you feel OP!

I’m working today so not as noticeable, but I just have this feeling of “I thought it would be nicer than this!”

Ninkanink · 07/06/2021 15:12

Skip the garden for now. Too much pressure. But definitely go to the beach.

The sun will soothe your soul.🌞🌞🌞

feliciabirthgiver · 07/06/2021 15:15

Just one step at a time, get up make some coffee to start with.....you know you will feel better with the sun and sea air. And you are not alone, the whole of Mumsnet can come to the beach with you to keep you company x

passenger19 · 07/06/2021 15:15

Go to the beach. ....please!

SoupDragon · 07/06/2021 15:16

Go to the beach. Stare at the sea and breathe in the fresh sea air.

lalamo · 07/06/2021 15:17

Don't worry OP. We carry our weather within ourselves so don't feel dictated to by the sun. You do what feels good not what you think you have to do. Take it easy! Small step - cup of tea or coffee? Then take it from there.

Scbchl · 07/06/2021 15:19

Going in the water will make you feel so so much better then lying in the sun will release feel good endorphins id drag myself. You will feel so glad you did.

Clandestinekitten · 07/06/2021 15:25

Whatever you do you should treat yourself kindly. Instead of it being a waste of a day if you stay in bed think of it as a treat that you’re giving yourself permission to go with what your body and mind needs for today. Yes, it’s a lovely day. But it’s not going to be the only one! Take the pressure off what you think you should be doing....

FoofOfTheWalkingDead · 07/06/2021 15:25

Try not to make yourself feel guilty about not enjoying the weather on top of feeling down. I have felt similar to you before and I found it quite paralysing. You don't have to pressure yourself to go to the beach, or do anything that feels too big, if it's just not in the cards. Maybe try to think of one small positive thing that you can do right now (after the first positive thing, which was posting here! well done). That might just be getting out of bed and brushing your teeth. After you do that, try and think of the next thing but don't get beyond just thinking about the next thing.
If the next thing is that you have to go back to bed, then go back to bed and congratulate yourself on getting up to brush your teeth. But you might find that doing one small positive thing leads to another thing and by doing that you make it through the day. Take it moment by moment.
Sending Flowers Flowers Flowers in abundance. Be gentle with yourself.
p.s. also allow yourself to disregard any advice, including this, if it doesn't help.

LadyCatStark · 07/06/2021 15:27

YANBU to feel like you do but if you do drag yourself out, you’ll feel so much better!

ElderMillennial · 07/06/2021 15:27

I can understand not wanting to move but it is very likely you will feel better if you get up and do something

NoSquirrels · 07/06/2021 15:28

Up and out right now. No coming back on MN until you can post us a photo of the sea...

CandlesBlanketsandTea · 07/06/2021 15:28

OP if you feel that rubbish stay where you are, the pressure of making the most of the good weather can make me feel worse if I don't leave the house. Listen to the great advice by @FoofOfTheWalkingDead sometimes you do the minimum and that's ok.

FastFood · 07/06/2021 15:30

You are not ridiculous at all OP!
I had a similar day yesterday (minus the sea or garden), woke up full of energy, thought I'm going to do this and this and also that, but I actually spent the day watching documentaries and dosing off and then felt bad in the evening because I did nothing but feeling sorry for myself.

Note that if you're feeling a bit physically unwell, it's totally normal that you're feeling down at the same time.
From an evolutionary perspective, it makes total sense, when you body is weakened by pain or disease, you don't want to potter around full of enjoyment because you'd be at risk to be exposed to predators whilst your body isn't at its best.
Obviously in 2021 we don't face death on a daily basis but the brain doesn't evolve as fast as our lifestyles, and so it doesn't know.
So don't blame yourself, blame the evolution!

This said, I'd go to the beach, even just for 10 minutes. And I'd get some comfort food on the way back. I'm sure it would make you feel better and you'd go to bed satisfied that you've done something.

JT1994 · 07/06/2021 16:13

Definitely go to the beach! I live near the beach too and often have similar days but I ALWAYS feel so much better after spending time outside especially if I go in the sea.

Original poster
troobleflooble · 07/06/2021 22:43

Ok so I started small.

I got up. I put clothes on, got the washing in. Brushed teeth.

Eventually I got excited about the idea of going on, I think the more I did the more I wanted to do 😁

I did go to the beach! I went for a swim! Feel so much better now, actually quite elated. Thanks so much to everyone who encouraged me to get off my ass and everyone who gave me permission not to 😊 x

To waste this beautiful day because I'm feeling really down?
OP posts:
Clandestinekitten · 07/06/2021 22:47

Well done you! What a lovely view! 😍

ItsAHardKn0ckLife1 · 07/06/2021 22:50

Wow, what a view! The ultimate tonic Smile

Original poster
troobleflooble · 07/06/2021 22:50

It was so beautiful, the water was so crystal clear 😍

Took some food and had my dinner on the beach, such a great afternoon. I knew it would be! Don't know why I didn't get out earlier.

OP posts:
colouringcrayons · 07/06/2021 22:56

Glad you had a nice time!

AlmostSummer21 · 07/06/2021 23:01

@troobleflooble

Ok so I started small.

I got up. I put clothes on, got the washing in. Brushed teeth.

Eventually I got excited about the idea of going on, I think the more I did the more I wanted to do 😁

I did go to the beach! I went for a swim! Feel so much better now, actually quite elated. Thanks so much to everyone who encouraged me to get off my ass and everyone who gave me permission not to 😊 x

Bitch.

I wanna beeee youuuuuuuu

I took it all for granted. For years. In a country with a fabulous climate.

I don't live near the beach anymore. I want the beeeeeeach

Thanks for the photo x

BreakingtheIce · 07/06/2021 23:03

I’d love to know where it is!

Original poster
troobleflooble · 07/06/2021 23:15

@AlmostSummer21 I'm sorry! 😂 I do take it for granted sometimes, I really try not to but when I'm having a crappy day I don't appreciate it like I should 😊

@BreakingtheIce it's Porth Joke (Polly Joke) in Cornwall. Not my closest beach but it's one I really like and it's so worth a bit of a trek.

OP posts:
FoofOfTheWalkingDead · 07/06/2021 23:21

That looks as amazing trooble! Well done for getting out. Don't beat yourself up for not going earlier. Celebrate the success.
I'm also jealous. I live near the sea but it's a city beach and not nearly so clear and clean.