I had a 8 month relationship relationship that was really good to start with. He made me feel safe, loved and positive for the future. He was consistently there and very affectionate with his words. We got on well and spent alot of time chatting.
I have always had suspicions about his state of mind. I know he's on anti depressants. But he has quite extreme mood swings. He just can go from happy to a tiny thing making him shut down and run off. I am suspicious of borderline personality disorder as he has trouble even keeping realtionships with family. He's very allover with his moods and behaviour. He hid this well for the first few months.
A few months back I had just done the school run. I said I would call him after dropping my child off. I got chatting to a mum for 20 minutes. He text to say I thought you was calling. I said I will in ten minutes sorry. When I called him he was abit standoff with me. He was at work (he is always calling whilst working) he had to go suddenly and didn't call me back for ages. When he did he seemed moody. I asked him if everything was ok and if he needed some space from us we could talk tomorrow instead. With that he dumped me. He hung up the phone. I had caught him looking at another woman online the week before and I asked him to explain which resulted in him deleting her in a mad panic. It was weird as I only asked who she was to him. He never seemed the same after that.
I was quite down after the way he ended it. It seemed over the top. Extreme. Like he had forgotten all the things I had done. Cooking him food. Lending him money until pay day. Ringing him in the early hours when he was down. I felt unappreciated but after about 6 weeks I was getting back on track. He was still in my mind but I was ok. Then the 17th may my phone rang. It was him.
He has been reserved since being back. We were supposed to be meeting up this week though so I was hopeful we would get back on track. But his behaviour since being back has been confusing. Up and down. If I ask if his feelings are the same. He says they never changed. But his efforts to make me feel wanted have been awful. He has refrained from giving me affection in the way of words, compliments and love. Everyday I've been trying to bring that side out and failed. So I decided last night I was fed up. I called him and asked why he was no longer doing xyz. He said maybe we will get closer again if we spend time together. I told him I only wanted to spend time with someone who already felt affection towards me. We've got many months of history and before he told me he loved me daily. Always told me how happy he was. How good I made him feel. How lucky he felt. He would always call me sweetheart and angel.(sorry sickly) but now he doesn't call me anything. The reason I felt so close to him was knowing we both felt happy and connected.
I replied back to saying I wasn't interested without those things still being a part of what we are. He said he can't force his feelings and before was different.
I told him it wasn't enough for me in that case as I want someone who is able to connect with me emotionally. I told him he should not have come back leading me on saying his feelings hadn't changed when I was finally moving on with my life. I told him how hurt I was when he walked away.
He has not replied. But kept me on Facebook.
I'm not being unreasonable am I? He has not been at all honest about his feelings and it's quite hurtful that he can't even call me nice names or compliment me anymore.
I'm feeling abit emotional and tired today. I now have to heal again from his games. I just wish I hadn't let him back in.
Would you have done the same?