To think we will never please let them?

[windy2909]

Had a good relationship with my in laws of many years until our first and only child arrived almost 2 years ago. Very long story but I now barely tolerate them. I keep my feelings to myself mostly as I know that it would cause fights between me and my husband. They basically morphed after my baby was born into people who wanted to be around us all the time, when this had not previously been in the case. They badger us all the time to come down for dinner on a Sunday but it’s not the carefree event it used it to be pre baby/toddler. We went tonight for dinner outdoors. They proceeded to decide they wanted to eat indoors and let the children eat outside. Me and hubby stayed with toddler and older cousins outside to eat, taking turns to go indoors for a bit each. We started eating at 6 and stayed around till nearly eight( past bed time) in the garden and they sat indoors and didn’t even come out to see us. They then proceeded to make a big fuss that we were leaving. Comments about eating and running and cooed over our son when they’d had all night to do so. I’m annoyed to say the least. What’s your take?

My in laws do this sort of thing. You need to make it really clear what your child needs. With a lot of persistence we got there by just telling them every time. Tell them when they invite you for a meal at 6pm ‘oh well we can, but obviously we’ll have to leave at 7:30 for DC bedtime’. You might find they ask you to come earlier when they realise. Did they assume the toddler could be left in the garden with the older cousins too?

Thanks for your reply. Dinner on a Sunday, which they seem to invite us to more has added complications as my husband has to work weekends till 6. Therefore the earliest he can get there is 6.30. We’ve stressed this and I’ve brought my son earlier but said we’ve got to leave around 7.30. It’s not much fun. Today I arrived with son before 4.30. Husband managed to leave work early and arrived before 5.30. Dinner with the young ones at 6 and at one point we were out the back just the three of us and it was bath time and I’m thinking why bother? Not sure if their expectations but we would not just leave our boy alone with a bunch of cousins. I had to bite my tongue very hard tonight!

Not sure if their expectations but we would not just leave our boy alone with a bunch of cousins

How old are the cousins? Depending on the age and how far away you would be that sounds quite reasonable with one of you popping out every 10 minutes or so

We went tonight for dinner outdoors

Who said it was going to be outdoors?
Why was it moved to indoors?
Was this at their house?
Could you all have gone indoors?

Them wanting to see you more now that you have their grandchildren is not that strange.

Just don’t go. If you do whatever they want now their hold over you will get stronger.
If they want to see your little one, hubby can take him round, while you enjoy ‘you’ time.