To be scared of seeing friend?

[nmechange23456]

Very special friend (I send her a mothers day card) and I have arranged to meet up in about four weeks for lunch (hoping and praying that covid doesn't stop us).

I love her to bits but I haven't seen her for two years ... I'm morbidly obese (although she's well aware of that) ... I'm agoraphobic and I'm terrified . I think to see her I'll need to travel a bit (about an hour on the bus) and I've not done that in well over two years, because I'm a useless person. I don't want to embarrass myself by being fat, having a panic attack and I keep thinking I should cancel.

I'm absolutely desperate to see her and give her a hug, and catch up on news etc, but dreadfully worried too - almost to the point that I feel like I should text her apologising in advance .

I'm being daft, aren't I?

You have 4 weeks.. so you can take some steps to maybe meet your friend half way. Start off simple.. leave the house and walk to the end of your street. Build up a little every few days.
You have said your friend will probably do the whole journey anyway... but I am a firm believer that nothing grows in the comfort zone. You can do this

Just wee update; friend was v, v understanding and said she’ll do anything she can to make me feel comfortable . Am tears . So probably will meet halfway so shorter journey . Even that feels a bit overwhelming but much more achievable .

Aw op jusr seen this. Hope you have a great time with your friend

Ps well done OP. You've done really well x

Awwwww I’d invite her over and then practice on your own a bit of a time. Please don’t say you’re useless. You sound lovely!

Cross posted!

You need to walk before you run but you sound like you are doing amazingly. I'm glad it's all worked out.

I hope you have a lovely time.