After my divorce I swore every way from Sunday that I would never get married again. My first marriage was emotionally and financially abusive and ended after exdh tried to rape me and then when I tried to leave he threw me across our kitchen. I never want to be in a situation that make it complicated to leave if things go wrong. I have worked hard to clear the mammoth debts exdh left me with, managed to buy my own house etc. I have a child with a partner in between exdh and current dp but we never married, nor engaged etc as neither of us wanted it.
Current dp has never been married, he came close but his fiancée was killed in a car crash. He has raised the question of marriage a few times over rather last 3 years and to be honest I have always shut him down but the more I think about it, the more I think actually I can see us as being forever. We have separate houses, he has no plans to give up his and due to dd I won't move to where he lives. She is settled in school,has a close relationship with her dad and her siblings with him (older from before he and I met). We have talked about him moving in here, we would then look to remortgage mine and buy somewhere together and rent both mine and his out so should the worst happen we both have our security.
However, there are huge political issues around us getting married. I am currently nc with my sister for a life time of reasons but dp hates her (she has been vicious and vile to both me and him so fully support him) so even if we were speaking I couldn't have her there.
Getting married in the UK would be so problematic so dp is keen to do it abroad. Dd has medical issues that means anywhere too hot or mid summer would be out of the question so I would need to look at around Easter time or term time (school governor so that will go down like a lead balloon) but it will also blow up and cause a huge rift in the family.
Would I be unreasonable to say bugger the politics and just book something once covid buggers off?