To ask for help choosing a school for dc

[helpmemakethechoice]

Our dc, 5 and 8, are at their local state primary. Dc1 is able, in the top group for everything and a good all rounder (likes music, sport, art, etc). I've no idea how she'd fare in a larger school, it may be a bit of big fish, small pond.

Dc2 is in reception and has a speech delay which the school are not helping with at all. They'd like to but she's in a class of 33 and I don't think they have the time or resources. She had private SALT before covid but it's proving impossible to get any more at the moment. Apart from this, she's bright but likely to be of average ability, it's hard to tell at the moment. She's beginning to read very slowly, it will probably be another year before she's confident with all her sounds. This isn't a problem as all children develop at their own pace but to give you an idea.

The school is a good state school but dc1 appears to be coasting and I'm worried that dc2 will get lost as an average ability child in a large class.

We can afford to send them both to private school. We wouldn't have to make many sacrifices to do this so it's not about the expense.
I wanted them at state because I believe in walking to school, having local friends and being involved in the community. They have all of these things and love their classes and their friends. Dc1 doesn't particularly like the learning part of school and says it's boring.

The only private school near us is non-selective and goes from 4-16. It's recommended to secure a place by year 4/5. I know a few parents with dc there and they speak highly of it, it seems like a nurturing environment. There's only 450 children in the whole school which does seem small to me especially for the secondary years. My main concern with moving them is their friendships and happiness. Plus they could no longer walk to school but getting them there and back isn't a problem. But it also seems that if we can give them this opportunity we should.

AIBU to take them out of their local school where they're happy and learning though possibly not thriving or stretched and move them to the private school? For context, the feeder secondary school is good but doesn't offer many choices as it is quite small (120 per year group). They could also walk there and keep their friendship groups from primary. Help!

YABU for posting this in AIBU.

I would look round the school and try and get a more detailed impression of it. Go round and ask questions, how do they stretch the more able what level of support is provided in terms of your DD's speach. It will definitely be the case their friends at private will be from a wider area and it's more likely people will be away travelling over holidays etc. Don't count on the private school having more experienced teachers or more modern teaching methods. Check whether the kids have tutors etc on top of the teaching at the school.

Think about secondary options - if there are other options it's unlikely an all through school will help prepare them for that.

Thanks @HandfulofDust. We would likely be away ourselves for a lot of the holidays so that wouldn't be a massive problem. We definitely need to ask those questions. Covid is making things more complicated in terms of face to face visits.

What do you mean by other options for secondary school? If they stayed at their state primary they would likely go to the feeder school, if we move them to private they'd stay there the whole way through.

Post this in "Education " you'll get alot more response.

Don't worry about Secondary for now. Make that decision when DD1 is 10.

At the moment, finances aside, private seems better.

We are in a similar position. Bright eldest needing more challenge. Middle DC less motivated and missed a big chunk of reception and year 1 through covid. And a pre schooler. We are moving them all in September. We can afford it and I think if we didn't do it we would always think we could have given them that opportunity. Ours are very sporty and so will really benefit from all the extra stuff the private school can provide.

They are happy in current schools so it's a risk but I think easier to do it earlier rather than later. There was a good thread last week where a poster was thinking of moving a 7 year old for work and lots of positive posts about how well they settle and adapt at that age. Though this might get different responses as it's a private school thread!!

With only 450 children across the age 4-16, I would be concerned about the financial viability of the school and also the availability of other students to form friendships with. 30 in a primary school year group can be fine, but I wouldn’t like it for secondary. Small pupil numbers might also affect things like the number of subjects offered, and may mean all classes have to be taught as mixed ability.

If you can afford private go private. My kids are at state school as private simply isn't am option for us. Kids are versatile and no doubt will make friends at a new school quite easily due to their age