To ask for your tough love?

[OhDeerKnee]

I’m dedicated to sugar. So far today I’ve eaten a brownie for breakfast, a big bar of chocolate that I melted and ate it all and I’m thinking about having ice cream.

I eat it all secretly, buying it and hiding it from my family. I do this every day. I spend loads of money on chocolate and sweets. I’m disgusting but I cannot stop.

I know it’s bad for me but I just can’t. What do I do? Please help me out of this mess. I sleep badly, am overweight, have terrible skin and feel knackered a lot. I can’t go on this like but I’m addicted, I think about it day and night. I looked into counselling but I can’t afford it. I’m too ashamed to tell my husband.

I’d suggest you tell your husband for a start. He probably knows but bringing the problem into the open will help you deal with it.

Sounds pretty awful, I hope you can find a way to change this.

Its a real addiction, don't be too hard on yourself.

Have you looked online for any support groups, assuming it would be helpful to you to make contact with others fighting the same battle? Some of the dieting/health groups on reddit can be very supportive places.

Ultimately, you're going to need to drastically reduce sugar in your diet or cut it completely. Whether you do that via a phased reduction or cold turkey is a personal choice.

To help with regulating your appetite / blood sugar, have you looked into intermittent fasting?

I also have had issues with food in the past. It sucks. It is hard to break long established habits, but it can be done.

@ScaredOfDinosaurs I’m worried about telling anyone as we have a close family member who has an eating disorder and it’s taken it’s toll, I don’t want to add to the stress...

Why did you melt the chocolate bar?

@Wrotten I don’t know, more indulgent that way I guess. Urgh

You have an eating disorder as well though OP. If you are binge eating in secret. That is not healthy. Just because you're not waisting away, doesn't make your eating habits any less disordered.

Start looking at the why behind your eating. There will be a why. Are you stressed, upset, hormonal? Before you start dealing with the symptoms (your eating) deal with the mental and emotional problems at the root.

If you can’t afford private counselling have you looked up your local area wellbeing service? I think a lot of them you can self-refer to by filling in a form online. There can be a bit of a wait but once you get through they can be really helpful.

I agree it is worth looking at the reasons why you binge on sweet stuff. What are the thoughts and feelings you are having at the time that you are trying to avoid or feel better about? If you can identify those you can work towards better ways to cope with them (easier said than done I know which is why it is good if you can have a counsellor to work them through with).

I have friends also who have had some success with hypnotherapy. Again if you can’t afford a private hypnotherapist there are CDs you can buy.

See, I wouldn't get the same satisfaction as you get biting into a chocolate bar.

Sorry, this isn't what your thread is about.

STOP EATING SHITE!

@MrMeeseekslookatme I’ve been doing it for. Long time so I don’t know but it’s massively out of control.

You’re not disgusting, you have an eating disorder/sugar addiction so this isn’t as simple as just “not doing it” or getting enough self esteem to treat yourself more kindly. You need to detox your body of sugar.

Something that helped me to understand my food issues was a book called The Gabriel Method, written by a guy who was massively overweight and learned to understand why his body was craving sugar so much. His take on it is that your body is starving at a nutritional level, so no matter how much crap you put into it, you will never be satisfied because your body is crying out for some vitamins and nutrition. The most obvious source to your body of fast energy is something sweet, and the cycle of insulin and sugar is keeping you ‘hungry’ no matter how much you eat.

The solution is to be gentle with yourself, to introduce healthy foods alongside what you would normally eat. The more goodness you put in, the more satisfied your body will become - to the point that it won’t be calling out for more.

Over eating or bingeing on sugary foods isn’t a matter of willpower - it’s body chemistry and psychology and the emotional connections we make with certain foods. Be kind to yourself and just gradually try to feed yourself well and at some point you’ll notice you don’t want to eat bowls of melted chocolate or ice cream for breakfast.

I had similar for a while, and tried various things... diets, not having choc in the house etc. It was sometimes worse than others, depending on whether my trigger was present (trigger was unhappiness).
The eating thing went away on it's own eventually. I just noticed one day. The thing that had changed was that something changed in my life that meant I wasn't unhappy any more.

Can you tackle your triggers if you can identify them? Boredom/low self-esteem/unhappiness etc? Maybe getting to the root of the problem is the answer, even if it takes quite a while.

Boredom and low self-esteem are a bit easier in a way. Focus on things outwith yourself, like a new hobby/religion/friend/whatever your thing is. Find your identity in that - ie in what you can do, rather than in what you look/feel like?
Unhappiness is more difficult if caused by things outwith your control 😔

Is there an Overeaters anonymous group near you? My friend did it and found it helpful.

I second PP about tackling your triggers. Even without trying to stop can you note down what you eat and when. Sometimes the noting it in itself can be helpful and even if it isn't it might help you identify when it happens and try to avoid certain situations.

Before you do anything - it might be worth ruling out diabetes first. A lot of pharmacies will do a diabetes check for you.

Maybe you can use the same tricks that people use to escape tobacco addiction.
First, find a strong and positive motivation: blaming yourself is just demoralising and doesn't help. Imagine the best version of yourself, a moment in time when you really liked yourself: is there something that you had then and don't have now? How did this addiction appear? What exactly do you mourn, lack or fear right now? Start a diary and write it down: tell it all to the diary, like you would tell it to a shrink. It is incredibly useful, trust me.

Then distract yourself from the cravings - be as creative as you can. Trick yourself with fruits (oranges or other fruits that are not so sweet). When you feel these cravings, brush your teeth or take a shower, or go for a walk but leave all the money at home. Avoid being in situations that are closely associated with sugar use (for example, if you use to eat sweets when you browse some sites or when you watch some things on tv).

And you don’t need to tell your husband or any relative or friend. If you feel that telling somebody could be helpful, then of course talk. But in some cases, the mere fact that someone else knows and says that ”you have a problem” might create even more pressure. You decide.

@FourTeaFallOut

Before you do anything - it might be worth ruling out diabetes first. A lot of pharmacies will do a diabetes check for you.

And of course this! ^^