To be fed up of my family putting me down?

[Hayleyandbaby]

Quite often infront of my partner. Sometimes even saying things like 'why are you like that?' It really upsets me. He sees that everyone is against me and he's really supportive. But when we have a row he sometimes says 'well everyone else thinks it's always you. So maybe it is this time'. It's not his fault, we've not been together that long. We're the perfect couple and getting married and have a baby on the way. I just wish my family wouldn't say all these things to make out I'm some kind of she devil.

How can he say everyone is against you and think that is being supportive. TBH I am confused by your post.

mmmmmm, I think i know what you mean.

have your family always been like this? maybe your partner isnt as supportive as you think, you have gotten yourself into a situation where any hint of someone being kind to you, you now see as support - because you dont know what real support is?

Distance yourself from people who make you feel unhappy and insecure.
You, your DP and your baby will be a family in your own right.
They are all you need to think about right now.

I second Humphrey!

Is it that you may have been 'difficult' in the past and they don't seem to have accepted that you've moved on/ grown up etc?

I was a really awful teenager and I quite often still get comments from my Dad and Grandma that upset me and I'm now 34 , they say things which may well have applied at 15 but certainly don't now! It is very frustrating but IME the best way to deal with it is to ignore them and get on with your own life!

Sorry, I didn't really explain myself.

My family have always been close but as I used to be a bit loud and a party animal, they act like I'm the rebel. Lately we had a huge family problem (which wasn't to do with me, but it caused problems all the way through the family). It's the first one we've ever had and was quite unsettling. There's still some bad feeling, but that's because everyone let me down and sort of turned on me really. My DP could see this and so he was with me a fought my corner every step of the way. It's made us even closer.

The basic jist is, I just don't want my family making out to my DP that I'm some kind of psycho. He's such a lovely, amazing person and I don't need them putting me down all the time. We're having problems with our home at the moment, so sometimes stay with them. But their constant criticism is driving me insane! My DP tends to calm things down and he totally looks after me, he's the best thing ever.

If i snap at him, and we end up rowing (hormones, plus all this pressure) that's when i feel like their remarks about me will make him think I'm an awful person.

I'm just tired of them putting me down.

I think ditancing is probably the answer to some extent, as they've not been the same with me since all this stuff happened. It's actually 3 of the 5 members of family.

Wisteria- that is it!! They assume I'm like I was when I was a lot younger!!

You're pg now and if you are happy with your dp and you get all you need with him why bother with people that make you feel bad?

Don't surround yourself with toxic people - show them you've moved on - you will feel stronger building a new family life and showing them you have done it without them. you need to think about you and yours now.

good luck

Well the only way it will change is if you ignore the comments, don't rise to them and let them see that you've changed from your actions....

The only other thing you could do is speak to one of them and explain how upset this is making you but to be honest that could easily make it worse.

How old are you?

I'm 22 but I've lived on my own since I was 18. I've got a house, car, fiance and I'm 15 weeks pregnant, but they treat me like I'm still a 14 year old or something. I've been really hurt by everything that's gone on lately and they refuse to speak about it and if I try to talk they walk out of the room

Never had family problems before so I'm beside myself. especially as it's my first pregnancy and I'd like to ask their advice without nasty remarks all the time

I will try to rise above it and let it go, but it really frustrates me

hayley, you poor thing.
do you live really near your family?
that can make things really suffocating.

Oh poor you Hayley - you sound like I was

I moved away - right away and started my own life. I still get the odd comment especially from 'The Grandmother' but she's as mad as a box of frogs so it doesn't count and she really believes I am still 15 I think .

Can you just keep out of their way for a bit? If not, then I suppose grinning and bearing is the only way to go and showing them what a great Mum you are when dc is born.

We live very close, but we're having issues with the property we rent so we stay with them quite frequently.

I feel guilty even talking about it because I don't know how it's all got to this, and we've always been so close. I hope everything sorts itself out. For the moment I think I'll do one of the two Wisteria- grin and bear it or lay very low for a bit.

Thanks everyone.

Can't you stay with anyone else?

What are your issues with the property?

The thing is, as long as you are still depending on them you are kind of perpetuating the myth that you haven't grown up I suppose. Not that I would see it like that but they might.....