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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

All or nothing mentality

6 replies

Cheeseballer · 06/06/2021 00:12

Does anyone else have an all or nothing mentality? Like I really want to be that mum who has a clean house, stays on top of everything, is organised with planning and doesn't forget to do things, while also managing to eat well, exercise, wear nicer clothes and not just joggers at home, do self care, drink water, be the fun and patient mum that I want to be and have it all under control? But it's all or nothing, so it never happens? Plus there just never seems the time for it all.

I have some skincare products that I would like to use for a bit of a pampering session one evening but never have the time once the kids are finally asleep. Plus the bathroom needs a good clean and it wouldn't feel that nice trying to have a pamper session in a bathroom that needs a clean.. so I don't bother. I can't just do one of the things mentioned above it's all or nothing.

I haven't explained myself properly but I always feel like I want to be better in all aspects but then everything is too much so nothing changes! How do people manage to do it all?

OP posts:
Cheeseballer · 06/06/2021 00:16

Oh,and get to sleep earlier so I feel better for the morning. So obviously I'm on mumsnet at 00.16 Hmm

OP posts:
ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 06/06/2021 01:11

similar here but I'm fighting it.

not sure why it's in AIBU though, I think mental health or something similar would be a better topic because seeing it black & white, all or nothing can be connected to a bunch of mental health issues.

And a lot of what you described and how you described it sounds to me like you might have ADHD, in which case I totally get that mind set!

partyatthepalace · 06/06/2021 09:58

Yes absolutely. And it’s fatal.

Just start with one small thing, and look around the other boards / old threads as Pp says

Cheeseballer · 06/06/2021 20:20

I dont really know why I posted in AIBU, I wasn't sure where it fitted in really. Mental health hadn't occurred to me.

OP posts:
AmberIsACertainty · 06/06/2021 20:22

Is it a perfectionism issue?

Spied · 06/06/2021 20:26

I kind of get you.
I couldn't use my new bath bomb tonight because for some reason it just hadn't been a good enough day and I pictured myself reclining in the bath after a certain type of day and enjoying itGrin.
I bought some naice hot chocolate but haven't tried it yet as I want to buy a nicer mug to drink it out of...
I ate some sweets this a.m so for the rest of the day I just thought bugger it and stuffed my face.

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