I dated a guy for around 4 months, was love bombed by him, met up frequently and he spent a lot of time round mine. We fell for eachother quite hard and fast and really connected and opened up with eachother.
It all suddenly changed one day. We were organising him to come round mine, I said I had a really shit day at work and just want to chill and don't want to have sex. Well, it's the first thing he tried to do. I agreed to sleep with him when it came to it at the time but was annoyed he even tried it on when I asked him not to and felt a bit like shit after. Then I asked him about commitment and what he wants out of this because I felt a little used by him from this event and we were not officially a couple at that point and had been seeing eachother for months. It all kind of blew up, he didn't like the pressure I was putting him under, I had a go at him for not respecting me, things ended quite abruptly.
But this was 6 months ago and we've continued to text almost everyday and I do miss him annoyingly. I think I need to give my head a wobble though. I just don't understand what he's playing at. I haven't seen him at all these past 5 months but he's text me so many times saying we should meet up, we should go to a restaurant now things have opened up, shall we go for a walk, I have so much to tell you when we meet up etc etc, but he never follows through. He does this frequently, probably offered to meet up around 20 times now and not followed through, and blames it on him being busy. I got annoyed with him at somepoint and asked him not to suggest things he wasn't going to follow through with cus it's not fair. I would look forward to seeing him and keep a day free for it and then be let down constantly. I also went through a tough time with a family emergency a couple months back, he would offer all the support for me over text and say he's there for me and we'll meet up, and then nothing. Again I said why are you saying things you don't mean and he has a go at me for having too high expectations of him. As far as I'm concerned I've never expected anything from him minus stuff he said out his own mouth he will do? It's a pattern. I didn't think much of it for the first few times because I understand things can come up unexpectedly but then it started to annoy me. I stopped suggesting plans myself a month back to lower this "pressure" I'm putting on him, and he still continues to suggest meeting up. He also is meeting up with friends quite frequently now as lockdown has eased and trying to make out I'm trying to control him and make him not see his friends??? I just want him to stop offering to meet up, not doing it, then ending up out with friends instead, over and over again.
I'm not an idiot, I can see that he could easily make time for me like he chose to when we were dating, and now he's "too busy" to ever make time for me which is evidently a choice.
I said to him, if you don't want to see me just tell me, it's fine. He replies with, what are you talking about I don't understand? I honestly don't even know what you're talking about?
I feel like I'm being gaslighted at this point. All his real life actions point to him wanting nothing to do with me. All his texts say the opposite. Then he seems genuinely confused when I call him up on it. It's so bizarre to the point that I thought I was being unreasonable for the first few months of it before I thought no, actually, I'm not.
What does this guy want from me? I've asked him that exact question. He wants me as a friend and values my friendship apparently which I'm not against. I'm not longing after this guy but enjoyed spending time with him. Why is he avoiding me like the plague then, what on earth?
I know the simple answer is to forget about him and never message him again. I'm not sure what's stopping me from doing that. I think it felt refreshing having a connection with someone and being able to open up. I'm hoping some of the replies here can knock some sense into me.